Church Sign Epic Fails, “No Explanations” Edition

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When I was a kid, I’d always ask “why?” about everything. Thankfully, church cured me of that! [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Darwin vs. Jesus” Edition

yeah this is just an awesome sign I decided to include. Not all church sign folks are numbskulls.

Darwin was pretty certain, what with the huge body of evidence behind him, he’d win the arm wrestling contest for sure. But then Jesus pulled that “Over the Top” move and BAM, totally kicked his ass. Sorry, millions of years of evidence. Christian Piatt is the author of “postChristian: What’s Left? Can we fix it? [Read More...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “I Heart Sex” Edition

This must have been one of those non-cannonized texts, like the Gospel According to Fellatio.

God loves sex? With whom, pray tell! Or is this a…um…solo kinda gig? Not that there’s anything wrong with that… [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Communion Lite” Edition

You want the transubstantiation?? You can't HANDLE the transubstantiation!!! (My best Nicholson, trust me)

I’m so glad there’s a church out there willing to offer me un-transubstantiated communion. The other one just makes me a little gassy.   [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, ‘Pastor Judgment Day’ Edition

#1. If churches don't know how to spell "judgment," who does? #2. Could we maybe move pastor appreciation day up a day, since, yaknow, some of you won't be here tomorrow (not saying who...)

Little known fact: The church sign phenomenon was started by a traveling letter salesman by the same of Alfonz Farkle back in the mid-17th century. Was known as the “Johnny Appleseed of church nomenclature.” Look it up! [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Church + Porn = FAIL” Edition

Total fail! Someone should tell them that the plural of "video" doesn't need an apostrophe. Doy!

Pastor, I promise I thought it was a “PAWN” store. I totally was just cashing in these old offering plates for some track money. Totally above board. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Race Car to Hell” Edition

Not only does this car judge you; it judges you while also looking really, really fast. Nice double use of the flames, guys!

Celebrating all things bumper sticker today, because nothing says “I’m following the path of Jesus” like an obnoxious sticker on your environmentally hostile car!   [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Christian Tacos” Edition

At first I thought this sounded gross, but then I found out they just grind up and sprinkle Christians on top of the tacos. Whew!

I keep seeing signs for Kosher food and Halal food…thank goodness we’re finally making food that Christians can eat. I’m starving after 42 years of waiting! [Read more...]


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