Church Sign Epic Fails, “Clothes Fall Off” Edition

Interestingly, it happens in increments. She just smelled it and, POOF, no socks!

Knock knock. Who’s there? Tequila. Tequila who? Tequila is awesome! Until it’s not anymore. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Lie, Lie Lie” Edition

You know, this message would have been more effective if they hadn't gone and spray-painted "LIE" all over it. Duh!

You know what persuades me toward a particular way of thinking? Watching two groups with opposing ideologies fight about their differences in the public forum…especially on billboards! [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Ugly Relatives” Edition

Every time junior get another mohawk haircut, he makes Jesus cry.

I walk into church and, all of a sudden, the Queer Eye guys jump out and start giving me a makeover! That Carson is such a character… [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Strip for Me” Edition

That word you keep saying, I don't think it means what you think it means.

I once joined a “Pole Dancing for God” class, but he totally kept telling me he was out of ones and would hit me up next time. Sooo not true. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Smelly Sheep” Edition

True Story: I blindfolded a sheep, put some nice under his nose and...nothing. Like it wasn't even there.

Three benefits to being a sheep: no thinking, no bathing, and all the grass you can handle. Kinda like college! [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Mastur-abater” Edition

Unless you use some novel two-handed system I'm unfamiliar with, you should be able to swing both, I think.

So I thought if you masturbate, you’d grow hair on your palms. Turns out your arm bursts into flames. The first one, I can deal with. The second…not so much. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Beefy Cheesy Glory” Edition

Am I the only one who is picturing a Jesus who bears a striking resemblance to Hulk Hogan right now? Guess so (sigh).

So I opened my hamburger bun yesterday and I saw Jesus’ face, right there in the bun! It was a New Years miracle. Oh, and he was delicious. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic…Wins???

Technically a thanksgiving sing, but hey, some of us eat turkey at Christmas. DON'T JUDGE ME!!!

I have never had any shortage of church sign fails, but since I’m in the throes of Advent, I’m feeling particularly magnanimous. So I thought I’d share some particularly awesome sings with you this week. And yeah, it’s also a little bit of penance since I’m two days late getting these out. #PiattFail [Read more...]


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