Church Sign Epic Fails, “Grandpa Ape” Edition

That's right! Just ask my cousin/uncle/grandpa merle over there. He'll break it all down for you...

In honor of World AIDS Day, we have a particularly gay array of signage today. Who’s ready to get their intolerance on???   [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Rapture Hatch” Edition

From my research, this is actually, really, seriously a real thing that people pay for. Also a great argument for sunroofs and convertibles.

I lived my whole live trying to follow Jesus, but when the rapture came, I got all tangled up in my attic insulation. D’OH!!!   [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Too Long to Be Wrong” Edition

Ah, yes, but this lifetime is not long enough to be arrogant and superior, apparently.

Once upon a time there was a Christian who thought he was wrong about something, but it turns out he was mistaken… [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Morally Bankrupt” Edition

Forgiveness of sins contingent on creditworthiness approval, as deemed by your giving history, church attendance and whether or not we like you.

I was worried about building up interest on my sin account, then I checked the fine print. Turns out, as long as you pay them all off by the due date every month, you’re all good. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Jesus, Not Boobs” Edition

Don't look at the boobs...don't look at the boobs...GAH! I looked at the boobs.

The best thing about putting a church billboard just below an ad for a strip bar is that, every time you see boobs after that, all you can think of is “Jesus.” Good thinking, church. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “God Hates Heavy Metal” Edition

I've always known that power chords were demon seed...

I was told to dress up as the scariest character I could imagine, so I’m thinking of going with Mark Driscoll…     [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Hell Ain’t Cool” Edition

Yeah, but heaven is full of nerds.

Know what I like best about being a Christian? Never being wrong. About anything. Ever. Pretty serious fringe benefit. Look it up. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Scumbags Welcome” Edition

Pastor Terry Jones presiding. Quran burning to commence immediately after worship.

I was once told I was an abomination, but I totally misunderstood. I thought that was one of those transformers, like Bumblebee. Abomination could totally put the smackdown on Bumblebee. Who the heck is tough that’s named Bumblebee??? [Read more...]


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