Church Sign Epic Fails, “Ugly Relatives” Edition

Every time junior get another mohawk haircut, he makes Jesus cry.

I walk into church and, all of a sudden, the Queer Eye guys jump out and start giving me a makeover! That Carson is such a character… [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Strip for Me” Edition

That word you keep saying, I don't think it means what you think it means.

I once joined a “Pole Dancing for God” class, but he totally kept telling me he was out of ones and would hit me up next time. Sooo not true. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Smelly Sheep” Edition

True Story: I blindfolded a sheep, put some nice under his nose and...nothing. Like it wasn't even there.

Three benefits to being a sheep: no thinking, no bathing, and all the grass you can handle. Kinda like college! [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Grandpa Ape” Edition

That's right! Just ask my cousin/uncle/grandpa merle over there. He'll break it all down for you...

In honor of World AIDS Day, we have a particularly gay array of signage today. Who’s ready to get their intolerance on???   [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “God Hates Heavy Metal” Edition

I've always known that power chords were demon seed...

I was told to dress up as the scariest character I could imagine, so I’m thinking of going with Mark Driscoll…     [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Hell Ain’t Cool” Edition

Yeah, but heaven is full of nerds.

Know what I like best about being a Christian? Never being wrong. About anything. Ever. Pretty serious fringe benefit. Look it up. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Scumbags Welcome” Edition

Pastor Terry Jones presiding. Quran burning to commence immediately after worship.

I was once told I was an abomination, but I totally misunderstood. I thought that was one of those transformers, like Bumblebee. Abomination could totally put the smackdown on Bumblebee. Who the heck is tough that’s named Bumblebee??? [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Devil’s Done Got You” Edition

Nothing compels me like redneck fundamentalism.

If God had had a mullet, I’m pretty sure it would look kinda like that one on the guy in “East Bound and Down.” Homeboy knows how to party in the back while keepin’ it business in the front. [Read more...]


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