Church Sign Epic Fails, “God’s Flatulence” Edition

Pretty sure it's the beans, God.

I was watching the game with God, and he says, “Dude, pull my finger.” Umm, yeah. Not falling for that one again, God…   [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails: God vs the NSA (Pt 1 of 2)

Trust me...the NSA doesn't want to listen to you pray for a puppy.

I missed last week’s church signs since I was at wild goose. So enjoy a double shot this weekend. Here’s part one of two… [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Take That, Westboro” Edition

God_Hates_Bags

For those who have asked me what my brand of “third way” nonviolent engagement for justice looks like…this one’s for you.   [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Get Behind Me Satin” Edition

Yes, Satin. You smooth, silky, evil temptress. Damn you and your softness. Damn you!!!

I once came up with a spell-check app for church signs, but after a while, it just melted from exhaustion (sihg)…   [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Jesus is My Beer” Edition

So...Jesus wants me to be relaxed and happy, then a little amped, then kinda goofy and stupid, then tired, then rally, then get aggressive and mean and then pass out?

He told me to drink in remembrance of Him, but I must have gotten a little over-enthusiastic. I mean, I was there at the table, and the rest of the night is a blur. That J-dog can THROW DOWN. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Guns Welcome” Edition

Please turn in your pew Bibles to the Gospel according to Ruger...

  This one goes out to George Zimmerman and all who felt justice was served in court yesterday. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Jesus Cat” Edition

I asked my cat how much he loved me; he said "this much," and stretched out his arms and died. But that's cool, because he has eight more lives in the bank.

Back in the day, Egyptian leaders used to believe that cats were gods. Clearly, they never met Miles, my senile, toothless, stomach-hanging-to-the-ground cat from high school… [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Beefy Jesus” Edition

I KNEW Jesus was juicing. Now we have proof.

I once challenged Jesus to an arm wrestling match. Jesus had me at first, until I did that Stallone “Over the Top” thing. Then he was toast! [Read more...]


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