Church Sign Epic Fails, “Arrogant Rabbis” Edition

As Tripp Fuller told me when he sent this to me, this is so incoherent it even fails to live up to its full potential as a church sign fail. First one to explain wins a cookie.

There’s really nothing worse than an uppity Rabbi. Except maybe for intransigent Swedes. They’re so radical!   [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Drop It Like It’s Hot” Edition

See grandpa? All those hours I spent in my room listening to Snoop and smoking funny cigarettes really paid off!

I once prayed for tickets to the Radiohead concert, and instead I got two tickets for Carly Rae Jepsen. I must have prayed in the wrong direction… [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Fill Your Cracks” Edition

The thing is, once you get him in there, there's no getting him out. Kinda like thong underwear.

Pentecost is my favorite religious holiday, because all the good boys and girls get a visit from the Great Pentecost Lizard, who leaves magic droppings under their pillow. Ahh, memories… [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Yo Momma” Edition

Creamy Jesus though. Not the crunchy Jesus. Gets stuck in your teeth.

My mom struggled through nine months carrying me, hours of painful labor and a C-section just to bring me into the world. So I got her a card. I figure we’re even. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Testicle Festival” Edition

Yeah, well, it's not like he's using them for anything, being a virgin and all...

Good news is we’re having a potluck after church today. Bad news is some of the dishes have testicles in them. Enjoy! [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “In-Your-End-O” Edition

There's a shot for that.

Sometimes words fail. Especially on church signs! [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Monster of Hell” Edition

They must be talking about network TV. Clearly they've never watched HBO.

When I told the pastor near my house I was taking a picture of his sign for my religion blog, he was thrilled. Pretty sure he hasn’t seen my religion blog… [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Tax Free” Edition

We say "tax free" but it's really more of a flat tax kind of thing. You know, like, give us one tenth of everything you make and you don't have to pay taxes on it. What a deal!

I actually kinda like tax day. It’s the one time of year when choosing writing as a career actually sort of pays off. Being broke rules!!! [Read more...]


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