Church Sign Epic Fails, “Anal Egg Hunt” Edition

That'll make you think twice before biting the ears off that chocolate easter bunny.

This is what you get when the blog you follow is run by a guy who works at a church. But these were worth waiting for.   [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Mastur-abater” Edition

Unless you use some novel two-handed system I'm unfamiliar with, you should be able to swing both, I think.

So I thought if you masturbate, you’d grow hair on your palms. Turns out your arm bursts into flames. The first one, I can deal with. The second…not so much. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Rapture Hatch” Edition

From my research, this is actually, really, seriously a real thing that people pay for. Also a great argument for sunroofs and convertibles.

I lived my whole live trying to follow Jesus, but when the rapture came, I got all tangled up in my attic insulation. D’OH!!!   [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Too Long to Be Wrong” Edition

Ah, yes, but this lifetime is not long enough to be arrogant and superior, apparently.

Once upon a time there was a Christian who thought he was wrong about something, but it turns out he was mistaken… [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Morally Bankrupt” Edition

Forgiveness of sins contingent on creditworthiness approval, as deemed by your giving history, church attendance and whether or not we like you.

I was worried about building up interest on my sin account, then I checked the fine print. Turns out, as long as you pay them all off by the due date every month, you’re all good. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Homosexuality Is In” Edition

Okay, total Church sign win. These guys literally kicked the "S" out of this church sign. And it's that much better for it.

I’m certainly not one to advocate for vandalism of private property, but you know, sometimes the right letters just fall clean off a church sign and suddenly unbridled bigotry looks a hell of a lot more like the Greatest Commandment. Just sayin… [Read more...]

VIDEO Church Sign Epic Fails “Papal Happy Hour” Edition

cdp face

What better way to welcome a new Pope to the Vatican than to dedicate an episode of Church Sign Epic Fails to him, right? Wait, what do you mean Francis isn’t on YouTube… Church Sign Epic Fails, “Show Me the Money” Edition Church Sign Epic Fails, “Apocalypse Now” Edition Church Sign Epic Fails, “Mormons Rock” [Read More...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Family Values” Edition

I asked this little guy, and you know what his response was? "You want to see hell? Check my pants. These Westboro folks are so busy condemning people they haven't changed my diaper in four days!"

Last time I checked on family values, they were holding fairly steady around $1.75 and an order of tater tots.   Church Sign Epic Fails, “Pass the Ammo” Edition Church Sign Epic Fails, “We Serve Minors” Edition Church Sign Epic Fails, “God Likes Weed” Edition Church Sign Epic Fails, “Crush China for Jesus” Edition Church [Read More...]