Church Sign Epic Fails, “Race Car to Hell” Edition

Not only does this car judge you; it judges you while also looking really, really fast. Nice double use of the flames, guys!

Celebrating all things bumper sticker today, because nothing says “I’m following the path of Jesus” like an obnoxious sticker on your environmentally hostile car!   [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Christian Tacos” Edition

At first I thought this sounded gross, but then I found out they just grind up and sprinkle Christians on top of the tacos. Whew!

I keep seeing signs for Kosher food and Halal food…thank goodness we’re finally making food that Christians can eat. I’m starving after 42 years of waiting! [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Cow Gang” Edition

Certainly no gang member could be offended to be compared to a lazy, dumb, fat, shiftless cow, right? RIGHT???

I once came up on a cow gang. They was like, “Yo, gimme all your milk, biped,” and I was all “TIP.” That was the end of that. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Clothing Optional” Edition

Well, mom always did say to wear a suit to church. Never said it couldn't be my birthday suit!

So I showed up naked to this church and got the weirdest looks. Hey, if you’re gonna make it an option, I’m gonna hold you to it. Better than holding it to you, eh? (Ba dum bum!)   [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Longer Than Sex” edition

God love you long time...

You know, it’s bad enough trying to compete with the media’s portrayal of beauty and sexuality without God being better at THAT than me too…   [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Anal Egg Hunt” Edition

That'll make you think twice before biting the ears off that chocolate easter bunny.

This is what you get when the blog you follow is run by a guy who works at a church. But these were worth waiting for.   [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Fuzzy Math” Edition

Who says you have to check your brain at the door when you come to church?!?

So many people claim to be bad at math, which is why I always pay anyone who does work for me in rainbows and belly button lint. So far, so good! [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “God Created Sex” Edition

Agree with the sentiment, but let's work on the difference between exclamatory and interrogative statements, shall we?

On the third day, God created sex…which was good because Eve was all kinds of stacked. I mean, like POW! Amen, my sister.   [Read more...]


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