The Choice To Save Mothers and Babies

Christopher Closeup Podcast – Guest: Kathy DiFiore

In 1981, Kathy DiFiore reached a defining moment in her life.  The NYU graduate with an MBA and a successful career as a Wall Street executive was feeling spiritually unfulfilled.  Raised in a Catholic family, Kathy was especially influenced by her grandmother who always taught her to keep Jesus at the center of her life.

One day, Kathy asked for God’s guidance while praying the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi (“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace…”). She felt inspired to learn more about the saint’s life, and discovered that he took Jesus’s words and the call to live them out very seriously – feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, shelter the homeless. As Kathy recalled to me on Christopher Closeup, “It motivated me to do something unique.”

With a heart for the unborn – and an awareness that many families would throw their daughter out of the house when they discovered she was pregnant, Kathy decided to offer her New Jersey home as a shelter for a pregnant teenager. After taking in that first girl, Kathy believed she had found the right mission. She put an ad in the local newspaper with her phone number and the message, “Pregnant? Need help?”   Sure enough, she got numerous calls and welcomed more young women over the next several years, helping to care for them materially, emotionally and spiritually. She credits the growth of the project to a higher power than herself, saying, “I guess it’s something God wanted to happen…The next thing I knew, people at work and my family were stepping forward [to help] because – who doesn’t like babies?”

In 1984, her mission hit a speed-bump when the state of New Jersey fined her $10,000 for running an illegal boarding house.  Kathy tried to show the government that she was running a shelter, not a boarding house. At first, it looked like they might pass a bill that would exempt her from the rooming and boarding-house laws. Then, Governor Tom Kean said he would veto the legislation because most people don’t have the kind of heart that Kathy does.  Kathy explained to me what happened next: “I said my morning prayers, and in my prayers I heard a voice that said ‘Contact Mother Teresa.’ I did. I knew someone who worked at her soup kitchen and he put me in touch with her. She said that she would help me…Eventually, she and the Governor got into a head-to-head…and [Mother Teresa] won out.” Thankfully, Gov. Kean also became one of Kathy’s supporters.

In the ensuing years, Kathy’s personal project grew to become the non-profit, Several Sources Shelters.  They own and run five New Jersey facilities that have saved thousands of babies while sheltering young mothers, and providing them with education, ongoing support and guidance on making healthy life choices like chastity.

In addition to Several Sources Shelters, Kathy also founded a national pro-life website, LifeCall.org. It lists contact information (phone, email, web address) for shelters and crisis pregnancy centers in every state in the U.S. and offers a toll-free number of its own: 1-800-NO-ABORT (662-2678). Kathy declares, “Let’s become an army of baby-savers and promote this website.”

One example of how LifeCall.org is saving lives comes from this past Christmas. An 18-year-old girl’s mother threw her out of the house when she discovered she was pregnant. Forced to sleep on a park bench on a frigid December night, the teen went to the guidance counselor at a local high school the next day and asked if she could use his computer to look for help. Kathy says, “She found [us] through LifeCall.org. It was an hour-and-a-half drive for us [to pick her up]. Now she’s living with us and her baby is due in the spring…Once that baby is born, her family’s going to want her back. There’s nothing like a baby to heal the wounds.”

One of the things that Kathy has learned over the past 30 years of pro-life work is how to counsel girls who are considering abortion. It’s advice that anyone can follow. She says, “I always feel the best way to resolve the conflict is spiritual. God tells us…that His laws are written on our hearts. So I always say, ‘You know in your heart God doesn’t want you to [have the abortion]. If you’re reaching out to us, you’re reaching out for a reason. And there are people who will help you. Not just me. I love you and want you to have your baby. But there are [also] tens of thousands of people out there that will help you. God has brought you to us for a reason, and now He’s going to bring even more people to you and surround you with His holy angels so that you can have your precious baby.’”

To listen to my full interview with Kathy DiFiore, click the podcast link: Christopher Closeup Podcast – Guest: Kathy DiFiore

A Smile as Big as the Moon

Autism, Down syndrome, Tourette’s and ADHD are just some of the intellectual disabilities that special ed teachers Mike Kersjes and Robynn McKinney deal with in their classroom of students at Forest Hills Northern High School in Grand Rapids, Michigan. But where others may define the students by what they lack, Kersjes believes in their potential to push beyond their boundaries and accomplish great things: specifically, to take part in NASA’s rigorous and demanding “Space Camp” program for gifted young people.

Kersjes originally shared this story in his 2002 book, “A Smile as Big as the Moon.” Now, a television movie with the same title has been adapted by Hallmark Hall of Fame for airing on Sunday January 29 at 9:00 Eastern/8:00 Central. Starring John Corbett (Northern Exposure, My Big Fat Greek Wedding) as Kersjes, and Jessy Schram (Once Upon a Time, Falling Skies) as McKinney, the film conveys the teachers’ dedication to bringing out the best in their students—and the life-changing vision of themselves that the students earn when they surpass what anyone ever expected of them.

The film does a good job of showing the challenges that special ed students have to deal with—from basic classroom learning, to being insulted and treated like outcasts by the popular kids. It also shows the students as smart in specialized areas like math or constructing a complicated model of the Space Shuttle. I’ve heard the term “differently-abled” (as opposed to “disabled”) applied to students in this situation. That description certainly holds true here.

Kersjes and McKinney face their own challenges. The school principal isn’t keen on letting the special needs students go anywhere because they tend to get disruptive on class trips; the cost of taking everyone to Space Camp is $50,000 which the school can’t afford; and the Space Camp itself has never had special needs students take part in their program so its leadership is resistant at first.

Overall, this Hallmark Hall of Fame production tells its story well and engagingly. The actors playing the students give solid performances, my favorite of which is Peter ten Brink, a teen with Down syndrome. In her role as Robynn McKinney, Jessy Schram (right) displays grit, compassion and, at times, quite a resemblance to Reese Witherspoon. Finally, there’s John Corbett’s performance as Mike Kersjes. He’s completely believable as a world-weary teacher struggling to stay connected with the ideals and passion that led him to a career in education.

Corbett’s most memorable scene is his plea to the Colonel who runs the Space Camp, asking permission for the special needs students to take part in the program. Since his words – written by screenwriter, Tom Rickman – sum up the message of the film, I’ll close with them:

“I’ve worked with special needs kids for far too long to romanticize their accomplishments. There are no simple solutions for any of them. These are basically good kids who’ve been dealt a bad hand. They live their lives on the margins. Their classroom is a metaphor for their existence. It’s out of the way at the far end of the basement. It’s like a cell block with bad air, bad light, no windows to the outside world. And outside the classroom, not much is asked of them nor is much expected. Can they try your patience? Yes, they can. And do they sometimes break your heart? Yes sir, they certainly do. But there are times – remarkable moments…when more is asked of them and more is expected of them. And they rise to the occasion, gratefully, gladly, just to remind you of the remarkable power of the human spirit.”

A Quiet Hero Revealed

Christopher Closeup Podcast – Guest: Rita Cosby

In yesterday’s post, I started to share the story of Emmy Award-winning journalist Rita Cosby who wrote a best-selling book called “Quiet Hero” about her father’s World War II past in Poland and the emotional wounds that allowed him to abandon their family years later without showing a shred of remorse.  Because Rita’s mother had always encouraged her to forgive him, she found the strength to do so and hear his side of the story.

Though Richard Cosby was reluctant to talk about his past, he finally opened up to his daughter, revealing that he was 13 when the Nazis bombed Warsaw.  He became a part of the Polish resistance and the Warsaw Uprising.  One particular incident of violence left an indelible impression on his mind and heart.

It was August 1944.  Richard’s girlfriend came to tell him that their unit had captured a German tank.  It was an impressive feat considering the Nazis possessed more manpower and weapons than the resistance. A little suspicious, Richard gave his girlfriend his gun just in case. The fighters—mostly teenagers—decided to drive the tank around to show it off to their fellow resistance fighters.  Richard decided to go home instead because he was exhausted.

When she was a guest on “Christopher Closeup,” Rita finished the story: “As [my father is] walking, a few blocks later, the ground shakes.  He realized that the tank exploded.  And on top was my father’s girlfriend and all his friends.  Five hundred people died and 800 were injured because they drove that tank to a busy town square.  My father rushed back, trying to look for his friends.  He said that when he got there, there was no trace of them. There were just rivers of blood.  Everything evaporated.” Rita continued, “My father at that moment told himself, ‘I need to block this out because I need to fight in their honor.’”

Richard was soon arrested and put in a POW camp.  The six-foot tall teen weighed only 90 pounds and had endured frontline fighting for five years.  After six months, Richard and 60 others escaped the camp.  They lived in the woods for a couple of days when they saw a plane fly over and drop something.  Initially, they assumed it was a Nazi plane so they dove for cover.  Then they saw that the plane displayed a star and was an American aircraft.  What was dropped out was a note tied around a chocolate bar with a red ribbon.  The note said, “Welcome. It’s safe to walk now during daytime. There are no troops between you and our lines.  You have fifty miles to walk and you’re free.”  Richard ran to the American troops and decided to move to the U.S. because “it’s such a great country.”

Following these revelations, Richard told Rita, “Please forgive me.  At that moment with the tank, I had to block everything out.  That’s what I did to survive during the Uprising, and I’m sorry if I carried that over into the way I handled myself as a father.”

After years of estrangement, Richard and Rita now have a better relationship than ever before and see each other often.  And in writing “Quiet Hero,” they also chose to donate ten percent of the proceeds to the USO program, Operation Enduring Care.  Rita explains, “This was my father’s way of saying thank you to the American troops who saved him and who continue to save people every day around the world.”

To listen to the complete interview with Rita Cosby, click the link below:

Christopher Closeup Podcast – Guest: Rita Cosby

The Hero Who Abandoned His Family

Christopher Closeup Podcast – Guest: Rita Cosby

Anyone who thinks they’ve got a family relationship that is beyond repair needs to consider the story Rita Cosby shares in her best-selling book, “Quiet Hero.” It was Christmas Eve, 1983, when the future Emmy Award-winning journalist and best-selling author heard her mother, Adda, and father, Richard, having an argument. Richard told them he was unhappy and was leaving the family.

The devastating news came out of nowhere for 19-year-old Rita, her brother and her Mom. To make it worse, Richard conveyed complete emotional detachment about his decision and basically cut himself off from his family from then on. Though Rita and her mother grew closer as a result, life was still difficult, especially when Adda Cosby was dying of cancer. Despite the unfairness of what was done to her, Adda continued to tell her daughter, “You must forgive your father. He went through some very difficult times.”

As Rita explained to me on Christopher Closeup, she had a feeling there was more to her father’s past after seeing many scars on his body during a camping trip when she was eight. Though she asked her mother about them, her response was simply, “We don’t talk about that.”

After Adda passed away, Rita and her brother were going through her belongings when they came across an old leather suitcase they’d never seen before. Inside, they found a rusty POW tag emblazoned with the words “Stalag IV B,” a red and white fighting armband covered with blood and dirt, and an identity card for a POW named Ryszard Kosobudzki. Rita’s investigative journalist instincts kicked in and she realized that these items belonged to her father, who had immigrated to the United States from Poland and Americanized his name many years before. She also decided that, as a Christian, she had to forgive him.

Rita contacted her father who was now in his eighties. He had watched her grow up through her television work on Fox News and “Inside Edition,” but was happy to reconnect with her in person after years apart. Though she had every reason to act resentfully toward him, Rita approached him from a place of love, of wanting to genuinely know the whole story of her father’s life.

Rita discovered that her father was 13 when World War II started in Poland in 1939 with the Nazis dropping bombs on Warsaw. The family tried to flee across the Romanian border, but then discovered the Russians were approaching Poland from that direction. Having been subjected to Russian brutality in the past, the family opted to take their chances with the Nazis. Richard soon joined the Polish resistance. Though he had an opportunity to be smuggled out of the country, he said, “I would rather die with friends than live with strangers.”

Rita believes it was her father’s mother who instilled him with this courage, faith and love of country. She says, “You weren’t allowed to practice religion. The Nazis were prohibiting [people] from exhibiting religious tendencies. But my father’s mother had a hidden altar in every single apartment they lived in, and every day got up and prayed. She said, ‘The Lord is protecting us, the Lord is going to save Poland. We must stand up on principle.’ That was the kind of home my father grew up in, and I think that’s what gave him this courage to fight for something so much bigger than himself.”

What Rita discovered next would shed a lot of light on her father’s unemotional departure from his family when she was young. Click the podcast link below for the full story – and check back tomorrow to read more:

Christopher Closeup Podcast – Guest: Rita Cosby