How to Profit from Perpetual (E)motion



I’ve thought of a way of massively increasing my income:


Brought to my attention by T. Allen Lambert


My most vocal, malevolent, and obsessive internet critic remarked, a month or two back, that, so long as I have a blog, write a newspaper column, and publish on Mormon-related topics, I deserve and can expect to be maligned by him and his ilk.  The latter is, I presume, entirely true.  However, since I’m not inclined to go silent in order to placate small-time aspiring bullies and anonymous slanderers, it occurs to me that I might as well profit from their weirdly consistent hostility.  As of yet, though, lacking experience and background in such things, I haven’t come up with a workable business model.  Ideas would be appreciated.



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  • Seth James Nielson

    Oh Dan, this would be so easy. Let me help you get rich.

    1. Move from Patheos to a blog that charges people to post comments.
    2. Base charge for a comment is 50 cents
    3. …plus an extra 50 cents for each 100 words
    4. …plus an extra 50 cents for each curse word

    I’m guessing your critics couldn’t resist the urge to throw mud and slime, even if it cost them some money. Don’t moderate the comments! The more curse words, the better! They get to let off steam, and you get to laugh all the way to the bank. Seems win-win to me.

    • danpeterson


  • Cecelia Fielding

    Head mommyblogger Dooce has (or at least did have) a a site called “Monetizing the Hate” where she posts all her detractors’ posts. It’s loaded with web advertising. Don’t know if she makes much money from it, but it makes her feel better.

    Don’t stop blogging. You make ME feel better. (And say hi to Deb for me.)

    • danpeterson

      That’s a great idea! (I’ll say hi to Debbie for you. And greetings to you, too! Thanks for the kind note.)

    • LBRussell

      Mommybloggers get hate posts? That is soooo pathetic…

      • danpeterson

        The internet can often be like the old Wild West. If the old Wild West had been largely populated by the criminally insane.

        • Greg Smith

          And cat photos.

          • Nathan


      • Beth

        LB –
        Everything having to do with motherhood is controversial these days. Next time you are with a group of three or more women, bring up natural childbirth and see what happens. You will not be disappointed.

  • Paul McNabb

    They’ve already shown us the way. First you copyright your name. Then you sue people who use it. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

    • danpeterson

      Ha! I just knew that some good would eventually come out of being the object of the legal attentions of Him Who Cannot Legally Be Named!

      • Beth

        Ahem. That’s “HE” Who Cannot be Legally Named. Tsk tsk.

        • danpeterson

          No, actually it should be “him” because it follows the preposition “of.”