Today was the day on which women were supposed to wear pants to LDS church meetings.
Unfortunately, as I feared, I completely forgot to pay any attention.
I didn’t hear anybody mention the issue, and my wife tells me that nobody brought it up in Relief Society, either.
My comment, the other day, that I really don’t care whether women wear pants to church, garnered some fascinating responses. One individual, who plainly wanted women to wear pants to church, pronounced me a “[obscene adjective deleted] [vulgar noun deleted]” and, as a reward for his exhausting attempt at formulating an Aristotelian syllogistic argument, earned vocal praise and enthusiastic agreement from several others of the Pro-Pants Party. Some of those favoring pants at church, though, offered more nuanced responses, explaining, for example, that my indifference to whether women wear pants to church or not shows my disdain for women, my lack of interest in my fellow members of the Church, my contemptuous arrogance, and, of course, how very far I am from being like Christ. (Curiously, they seem to think that Christ cares a very great deal about whether women wear pants to sacrament meeting.)
Anyway, the sordid and terrible fact remains that I didn’t notice whether any women wore pants to church today. It should have been easy, since, in my ward or congregation, all three sacrament meeting speakers were women, the chorister was a woman, the organist was a woman, and the special musical number was presented by five female violinists who were accompanied by a female pianist. If my life depended on it, though, I couldn’t tell you, now, what they were wearing. I don’t think that they were wearing pants, but I can’t guarantee that.
Last night, after the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert up at the Conference Center in Salt Lake City, I briefly remembered the issue and, before thinking about other things for the rest of the evening, I counted at least five women in my immediate vicinity who were wearing pants. But, since last night wasn’t today, I don’t think those cases count as part of the protest that was planned for Sunday, 15 December 2013. It was just cold last night.
If Pants Sunday was a big deal in your ward today, I would enjoy hearing about it. I can’t imagine why it would be a big deal, personally, so I would love to hear details. Were there fist fights? Heart attacks among the high priests? Admonitions from the pulpit? People carried bodily from the chapel? Linked-arm choral renditions of “We Shall Overcome”? Indifference? No mention at all?