One of the bestselling books of all-time is the Kama Sutra which is an ancient text using both words and images to detail nearly every imaginable sexual position. When people think of a timeless book that holds the keys to great sex, their first thought might be the Kama Sutra, but I’d argue a better choice would actually be the the Bible. Perhaps it surprises you to think of the Bible as a practical manual for your sex life, but I’m convinced its the most important resource at your disposal to help you have a healthy sex life (and every other part of your life as well). Here’s why…
God created sex. He created love. He created life. He created YOU and He has a beautiful plan for your life. Regardless of your faith (or lack of faith), I’d encourage to to explore God’s plan for sex, because the world’s plan for sex is creating a culture of heartbreak, objectifying women, broken marriages, pain and regret. God’s plan is MUCH better. Here are a few of the sometimes surprising teachings about sex in the Bible:
(In no particular order):
1. Sex isn’t just a physical act; it’s a sacred, spiritual act as well.
When we reduce sex only to an act of physical pleasure, we’re “using” our partner instead of truly loving him/her. We’re also creating a bond with this person that goes far beyond the physical. This is why there is so much pain, confusion and heartbreak involved in broken relationships with sexual partners that don’t exist with other kinds of relationships. This is also one of the many reasons why casual sex and/or prostitution is ALWAYS a bad idea.
“Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.” 1 Corinthians 6:15-17
For more on this, check out my popular post on 8 surprising teachings about MARRIAGE in the Bible.
2. Lifelong monogamy within marriage is the best plan for sex.
God wants your sex life to be AMAZING, but it needs to be amazing with the person you married. If you start looking outside the marriage then everybody gets hurt. Think of sex like fire and marriage like a fireplace. When fire remains in the fireplace it gives off light and warmth to the entire house, but when you take fire out of the fireplace and spread it around other places, everyone gets burned!
“Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.” Proverbs 5:18-19
For more on this, check out our new video course on sex and intimacy in marriage.3. The sex (fantasy) in your mind matters as much as the sex in your bedroom.
Jesus raised the bar high when it came to God’s standards for a “faithful marriage.” He taught that monogamy isn’t just physical; it needs to be mental as well. If our thought-life is X-rated, then it’s going to have a negative impact on experiencing true intimacy in marriage. We need to be “mentally monogamous” to experience all God intends for sex and marriage.
“But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28
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4. Sexual sin* is in a category of its own because of the devastation it causes.
Many have been taught that all “sin” (breaking God’s laws) are in the same category, and while all sin hurts God and people, sexual sin is in a category by itself because of the powerful, negative consequences it creates for everyone involved. The Bible says so much about sexual sin specifically to PROTECT us from the consequences. Never trade temporary pleasure for permanent regret!
“Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18
*I know this steps on a lot of toes in our modern culture, but the Bible clearly puts homosexual sex within the category of sexual sin. God LOVES all people and God sees equal value in every life, but not in every lifestyle. For more on this, you can check out my post on Gay Marriage (by clicking here).
5. You can find healing from past sexual regrets and/or past sexual abuse.
Most of us have some kind of sexual “baggage” from our past. It may come in the form of choices we regret or brokenness over abuse we experienced. In either case, God wants to bring you healing and peace. God loves you more than you can imagine. Allow His love and grace to fill the cracks in your broken heart.
“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” 2 Corinthians 5:17
For more tools to help you build a rock-solid marriage, check out our new video course on sex and intimacy in marriage.
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