7 Keys to a Drama-Free Home

A healthy family should have a lot more comedy than drama!

“Drama” refers to invisible tensions and barriers that prevent growth and health in a relationship. To root out drama, you’ve got to start at the source. I’m convinced that the root of most Family Drama is in unresolved conflict.

Have you ever felt like there’s an invisible elephant living in your house because of unresolved conflict in the marriage or family? Unresolved conflicts can unravel the fabric of a family and create drama faster than almost any other force. Depending the personalities of those involved, it can look drastically different.

In some situations, families live with an “artificial harmony” where there are deep-seeded issues that nobody has the courage to address, so the “deal with it” by not dealing with it which perpetuates a dysfunctional cycle.

In other homes, the family thrives on conflict and will seem to fight just for the sake of fighting. They develop an unhealthy addiction to living on an emotional roller coaster.

Some families just avoid each other completely because avoidance seems easier and more pleasant than continuing the dysfunctional cycles that attempted conflict resolution seems to cause.

Our marriages and our families are far too important to throw away with unhealthy or unresolved conflict. We’ve got to replace the drama with peace! If you apply the principles below to any conflict in your marriage or family, I’m convinced you can remove drama and bring healing, health and resolution.

Dave Willis marriage quote healthy relationships more comedy than drama

1. Address issues quickly and directly.

When there’s an issue, don’t hide from it or deal with it in a passive-aggressive way. Unresolved issues will fester like a cancerous tumor and you must deal with them in the same assertive manner you’d use to identify and remove a tumor.

2. Realize that there won’t be a “Winner” and “Loser.”

In any conflict with Loved Ones, you must approach the disagreement realizing that you are on the same side, so you share the same fate. You’ll either win together or lose together, so work together to find a mutually beneficial solution.

3. Avoid “Emotional Sunburn.”

When a person gets sunburned and then you pat them on the back, they might scream out in pain. Most of us have invisible “burns” on our hearts and souls from past hurts, and when someone gets close to those areas, we are tempted to lash out. In family conflict, be aware of those “sore spots” and work to heal them instead of agitating them.

Dave Willis quote love your family more

4. Be a Peacemaker.

The Bible says, “As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” To live at peace within your family, there will be times you have to swallow your pride and take the first step towards healing. Be willing to forgive and seek forgiveness.

5. Be an encourager; not a critic.

Your family is going to get plenty of criticism out in the world, so make sure you’re doing your part to counteract that negativity by being an encourager in your home. Be the one who wipes away your family’s tears; not the one who causes them!

6. Always tell the truth.

Honesty fosters intimacy. If you want to remove drama and unresolved conflict from your family, place a high value on telling the truth at all times in all circumstances. This will build mutual trust and create a culture of transparency.

Dave Willis quote quotes secrecy is the enemy of intimacy secrets

7. Don’t give up on each other.

Families are imperfect, but love is perfect. Remember that a “perfect family” is just a group of imperfect people who love each other and refuse to give up on each other!

For more tools to help you build a rock-solid marriage and family, check out our bestselling book*, “iVow: Secrets to a Stronger Marriage” which is available as a Paperback, audiobook and Kindle ebook on Amazon.com and is now also available on iTunes for ebook download on iPads, iPhones and all Apple devices.

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  • Tiffany

    I am struggling in a blended family. I have 1 daughter, she’s 14. I married my husband who has 7 children. 2 are his biological, and 5 were adopted. In the meantime, both of his biological kids and 2 adopted kids are now living with us full time. My daughter is hated, (yes I know that’s a strong word) but it’s true by the biological son which is 14 too…They are the “Elephant in the room” for our family. When I try to urge guidance it causes conflict with my husband. I can guide the other children, but not him. I never thought I’d have this huge responsibility full-time, but I do know as their mother lost custody for drug use. 3 of the other children I haven’t mentioned are grown and out on their own. And his son is the only boy among all of these girls. …. I appreciate this post. I hope I can find your book.

    Tiffany