This week social media was buzzing with the trending story of another celebrity breakup, but this breakup looked drastically different from most the rest. Former NFL player and outspoken Christian, Tim Tebow, was reportedly dumped by Supermodel and Former Miss Universe, Olivia Culpo. The reported reason for the breakup was that Tebow wouldn’t budge on his pledge to remain abstinent until marriage. This has the world asking, “What would make a man turn down sex from a beautiful woman when he loves her and he is in a committed dating relationship with her?”
Tebow’s reasons might surprise you and they might also cause you reconsider your own beliefs and convictions about sex.
While I can’t speak to all the personal reasons behind Tebow’s abstinence pledge, he has made it clear that his convictions are based on what the Bible teaches about sex. Tebow, like most Christians, believes the Bible’s instructions for relationships aren’t out-of-date, but rather, they provide a timeless roadmap for navigating relationships in the healthiest way possible. You might be surprised by what the Bible actually says about issues related to sex and relationships, so here are 5 key teachings about sex and relationships in the Bible:
For more insight about the Bible’s timeless instructions for sex, marriage, family and relationships, you can download a FREE chapter from my new book, “The 7 Laws of Love,” by clicking here.
(In no particular order.)
1. Sex isn’t just a physical act; it’s a sacred, spiritual act as well.
When we reduce sex only to an act of physical pleasure, we’re “using” our partner instead of truly loving him/her. We’re also creating a bond with this person that goes far beyond the physical. This is why there is so much pain, confusion and heartbreak involved in broken relationships with sexual partners that don’t exist with other kinds of relationships. This is also one of the many reasons why casual sex and/or prostitution is ALWAYS a bad idea.
“Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.” 1 Corinthians 6:15-17
For more on this, check out our popular, porn-free video course on sexual intimacy in marriage by clicking here.2. Lifelong monogamy within marriage is the best plan for sex*.
God wants your sex life to be AMAZING, but it needs to be amazing with the person you married. If you start looking outside the marriage then everybody gets hurt. Think of sex like fire and marriage like a fireplace. When fire remains in the fireplace it gives off light and warmth to the entire house, but when you take fire out of the fireplace and spread it around other places, everyone gets burned!
“Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.” Proverbs 5:18-19
*If you’re wondering why sex should be exclusive to marriage, think of sex like “fire.” Fire is a very good thing when used and enjoyed properly. If you keep it in your fireplace, it provides warmth and light for the whole house, but if you spread the fire all around the house and disregard the safe confines of the fireplace, people will get burned. Marriage is like the fireplace. It’s the perfect place for the powerful gift of sex to be enjoyed. When we disregard the exclusivity of sex for marriage, someone always gets “burned” emotionally and/or physically.
3. The sex (fantasy) in your mind matters as much as the sex in your bedroom.
Jesus raised the bar high when it came to God’s standards for a “faithful marriage.” He taught that monogamy isn’t just physical; it needs to be mental as well. If our thought-life is X-rated, then it’s going to have a negative impact on experiencing true intimacy in marriage. We need to be “mentally monogamous” to experience all God intends for sex and marriage. When someone saves sex for marriage, he/she is also protecting his/her mind from the replay of past sexual memories which could cause comparisons, fantasies, regrets and a more difficult time fully and exclusively connecting with your spouse.
“But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.“ Matthew 5:28
4. Sexual “sin” is in a category of its own because of the devastation it causes.
Many have been taught that all “sin” (breaking God’s laws) are in the same category, and while all sin hurts God and people, sexual sin is in a category by itself because of the powerful, negative consequences it creates for everyone involved. The Bible says so much about sexual sin specifically to PROTECT us from the consequences. Never trade temporary pleasure for permanent regret!
“Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.“ 1 Corinthians 6:18
5. You can find healing from past sexual regrets and/or past sexual abuse.
Most of us have some kind of sexual “baggage” from our past. It may come in the form of choices we regret or brokenness over abuse we experienced. In either case, God wants to bring you healing and peace. God loves you more than you can imagine. God’s grace is bigger than your biggest mistakes. Allow His love and grace to fill the cracks in your broken heart.
“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” 2 Corinthians 5:17
Whether or not you agree with Tim Tebow’s convictions, I think most of can agree that it’s nice to see a man willing to take a stand for his personal convictions even when those convictions are inconvenient and countercultural. Personally, I greatly admire Tim’s faith and I pray that he will one day find a young woman who shares and respects his beliefs about sex and marriage. When that time comes, I’m sure Tim will be the first to say that going about all this according to his faith and trusting God’s timing is well worth the wait!
For more tools to help you apply the timeless relationship wisdom from the Bible into your own relationships, you can download a FREE chapter from my new book, “The 7 Laws of Love,” by clicking here.
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