The Cobra Commander Dialogues: III.I.2

Originally posted on Atlas Shrugged: Only a Flesh Wound.

Cobra Commander: You know they always say that the best thing to do with someone who may have suffered a back or neck injury is to pick them up and carry them around.
John Galt: Oh don’t worry, she’s a hero so she won’t have any serious spinal injuries.
Cobra Commander: Are you sure? Might want to shake her around a bit just to play it safe.
John Galt: Why are you following us anyways?
Cobra Commander: Oh I don’t know maybe because you’re walking towards the only civilization around here? Look if you know of another direction to walk in the mountains I’d like to hear it.
John Galt: Well it will give us a chance to show you a perfect utopia.
Cobra Commander: Great! I’ve always wanted to rob one of those.
John Galt: Hey now you can’t steal from us!
Cobra Commander: Oh I’m pretty sure I can. I’ve got a laser pistol and everything. I have a feeling it will be incredibly easy.
John Galt: Well we’ll stop you.
Cobra Commander: I look forward to seeing you try. But we’ve got some time until then. Hey how come Dagny isn’t saying anything? I mean I’m not necessarily complaining but still.
John Galt: Oh she’s just awestruck by everything going on here. She’ll just make a few idle exclamations and questions that will let us kind of exposit around her for awhile.
Cobra Commander: Convenient. But seriously she’s kind of unable to walk and acting like a little kid, maybe you should take her to a neurology specialist. She could’ve suffered a brain injury.
John Galt: Oh she’ll be fine, we have the world famous surgeon Dr. Hendricks with us to look after her!
Dagny: GASP! Not Dr. Thomas Hendricks!
Cobra Commander: Okay gasping like a little kid doesn’t really do much to make me think she’s altogether there mentally right now. But I was talking about a diagnostician, not a surgeon.
John Galt: But he’s the world’s best surgeon.
Cobra Commander: Well is he at least a neurosurgeon? Or maybe a trauma surgeon who might be used to accidents like this?
John Galt: He’s just the world’s best surgeon, which means he’s the world’s best doctor.
Cobra Commander: Are you kidding me? There’s dozens of different fields of specialist medicine. One guy is not going to be an expert on all of them no
matter how great he is. I mean yeah he’s going to have a basic medical knowledge so he can probably take care of your general concerns but what happens when you need… I don’t know like oral surgery or an oncologist or something?
John Galt: He’s the best. So he’s also the best at all of that as well.
Cobra Commander: Well even if he was the best at every form of surgery possible which I still contend is absurd, what about a support staff! I mean just to do surgery he’d need anesthesiologist, a nurse or two, like… I don’t know I’m not an expert but I mean when they do surgery there’s a whole lot of people in the room.
John Galt: He’s so the best he wouldn’t need any support staff to do surgery. Or any other medicine for that matter. He’ll always be able to do all medicine and medical related things by himself.
Cobra Commander: Well what if he gets sick? If he’s your only doctor what if something happens to him?
John Galt: He’s so the world’s best doctor that he would never get sick because he would figure out he was going to get sick and stop it before it happened.
Cobra Commander: Why do I feel like I’m arguing with a small child and not the supposed smartest man in the world?
John Galt: Because I’m so much smarter than you that it only seems like I’m not. You just can’t grasp how perfect our utopia is.
Cobra Commander: Perfect until someone gets a cavity.
John Galt: World’s best surgeon means world’s best dentist too.
Cobra Commander: Oh now you’re just making stuff up!
John Galt: Nuh-uh!