New Year's resolutions for Catholics

Okay.  So maybe you don’t need to lose weight or give up smoking.  Looking for some other resolutions for 2011?  Look no further.

I wrote this several years ago for my parish bulletin, and it was reprinted this week.  I got a lot of comments about it after mass today, so I thought I’d post it here.  Enjoy.  :-)  (And I’m sure there are a few others you could add to this list…)

  • I resolve to arrive at Mass early.
  • Before arriving for Mass, I resolve to turn off my cell phone, or put it on “vibrate.”
  • I resolve to go to the bathroom before I leave home, so I don’t have to stand in line outside the restroom for most of Mass, hopping from foot to foot.
  • During the warmer months, I resolve not to wear to Mass that tube top that looked so great the night before at the KISS concert.
  • I resolve not to wear shorts to Sunday Mass unless I’m under the age of five.
  • I will refrain from leaving prayers for St. Jude all over the place.
  • I will not feed my children cookies during Mass.
  • I will not leave empty juice boxes in the pews.
  • I resolve not to snore during the homilies.
  • I resolve to sing. Loudly. And on key.
  • When the usher comes by with the collection basket, I will not put in a five-dollar bill and take out four ones.
  • I resolve to actually shake hands with those around me during the sign of peace, and really mean it.
  • I will not butt in front of others when I get in line for communion.
  • When someone butts in front of me to get in line for communion, I will not trip him and laugh.
  • When the lector announces that there is no second collection, I resolve not to cheer, applaud or make “the wave.”
  • I will not bolt for the door after the announcements.
  • I will stay in my pew to sing the recessional hymn.
  • I resolve to place my missal and hymn book at the end of the pew before I leave, to make less work for the ushers. A tidy church is a happy church.
  • When I am in my car, waiting to get out of the parking lot after Mass, I resolve to use all five fingers when I wave at my fellow parishioners. And I will smile at them.
  • I will take home this bulletin and cut out these resolutions, and tape them to my refrigerator, so I don’t forget them.

Comments

  1. pagansister says:

    Good advice no matter what church/mosque/temple one attends!

  2. Jim Dotter says:

    I resolve to have my offertory ready for the collection, although they should have it at the same part of the mass. They keep switching it around and I get so confused as to when it is. TONGUE FIRMLY IN CHEEK!

    Descending from the soap box,

    Jim the upset usher

  3. I leave when Father exits the nave.

    Here’s mine for choir directors…

    1. I will not make the recessional hymn longer than 2 verses

    2. I will not beg for applause

    3. I will sing what the Church asks us to sing.

  4. Joe,
    Your #1 seems to contradict your #3…

  5. People deserve good life time and home loans or just car loan would make it much better. Just because people’s freedom is grounded on money state.

Trackbacks

  1. RT @TopsyRT: New Year's resolutions for Catholics http://bit.ly/gD1qPD

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