"The miraculous healing power of lips to scars…"

If anyone wonders what it means to be married and in love after decades together, Pat Gohn has this heart-stopping and beautiful answer:

Like many survivors of breast cancer, I have some serious battle scars. My un-bandaged body after breast cancer certainly made for some interesting pillow talk between my husband and myself.

Going into the crisis long ago, we barely considered what it would mean for our love. But when I was done with all the treatment, the question lingered unspoken in the air—what would our marriage look like? Stranger still, what would it feel like?

I knew he loved me before all the surgeries. Fourteen happy years and three children assured me of that. But we had never really,really been tested by the experience of heartache, loss, and fear that a cancer diagnosis brings.

In the aftermath, I could not begin to fathom what our intimate moments might be like, now that I had been surgically taken apart and permanently altered.

My husband just smiled and kissed the boo-boos. And he never stopped.

The miraculous healing power of lips to scars transformed the broken hearts and the marriage that cancer had tried to lay to waste, better than life-saving surgery ever could.

He later told me that it was graces of inviting Christ into our marriage on our wedding day at work. The power of the vows permeating every aspect of our lives, and even the blessing of chastity had come back, to aid us in those first post-cancer episodes. We had stood at that altar and vowed to love one another—sight unseen in terms of what was yet to be consummated—and pledging to accept the all of the other.

And it has been that way ever since. We will take it all, the good and the not so good, as long as we could stay by each other’s side. With God’s help, we will not alter the vow we made at the altar.

Read it all. Share it with someone you love.

Comments

  1. I have found that the greatest virtue in a marriage that expresses the reality of love is forgiveness. Certainly in my case my wife has been given such grace and perseverance that she has forgiven much. It is this forgiveness that has kept us together for 27 years of marriage (30 years since we met).

    Forgiving small thing and big things is a way of humility and precludes pride, that pride which often leads to “irreconcilable” differences and in many cases to divorce.

    And that forgiveness comes from the Spirit of God and flowing from the Father and the Son.

  2. About a year ago, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Two weeks after her breast was removed, I took some time to help nurse her back to health.

    This included helping her change her bandages. I remember looking at her body and wanting to cry because of all the stitches and how “gross” everything looked based on normal standards. My mom must have known how I was feeling, because she asked if I was grossed out.

    I told her that her scars were battle scars and she was blessed to have them because it meant she was still with us.

  3. I have to admit, I am very touched by this article. It reminds me of the sacramentality of marriage is meant to be…love..unconditional, holy love…mirroring our God’s unconditional and limitless love for us…no matter what!

  4. A beautiful story—-showing that true love and commitment can get a couple through almost everything life tosses in their direction.

  5. I love Pat, and her husband is the very definition of masculinity itself.

  6. Gerard:
    Totally agree with your statement about Pat’s husband!

Leave a Comment


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X