How to make Christmas cookies (revised translation)

From someone at Commonweal:

In the comments section of Commonweal, James Martin (in a similar spirit, and with our spirit) has helpfully provided this blessing for Christmas cookies:

“O God, who see the cookies that you have graciously deigned to allow us to bake here according to this recipe that you have given us that we may give to others that which you have given to us here, bless, we pray, them, O Lord, that you may allow us to offer them in return to many, as we seek to preveniently nourish these your holy people, we pray, with the ineffable taste of the flour that you have graciously allowed us to refine, O Lord, with the milky milk that milkily issues forth abundantly from the many bovine animals which you have made and from the sweet sugar that sweetly comes from the sweet sugar cane plants which you have created for we your people, who humbly implore your blessings, that all of us may humbly eat of them, in order that you might, O Lord, we humbly beseech you, bless us and them, and, we pray, O Lord, and I forgot what where I was going with this prayer.”

Amen.

  • naturgesetz

    LOL. Pretty good parodies.

  • http://imaginemdei.blogspot.com Maggie Duffy

    Pretty stupid IMHO and pretty tasteless. Christmas cookies and their preparation just don’t compare to the Eucharist. Sorry folks.

  • MhariDubh

    I believe they’re making fun of the clunky language (it’s clunky, we’re not quite used to it yet) not comparing cookies to the Eucharist.

    I can’t stop myself from saying – While the Eucharist feeds me in a deep spiritual way, I’m really excited for tasty Christmas Cookies.

    Also, I love Fr. Martin.

  • http://www.knollnews.blogspot.com Joe Veneroso

    I wish I had written this! It would be really funny we’re it not so true.

  • Joe

    Fail.

  • daisy

    Not cute at all.

  • Marie E

    Wonderful – I too find the language clunky

  • jkm

    Spot. On.

    And probably best appreciated by priests and deacons, who have had the most exposure to the tongue-twistingly convoluted syntax of the prayers in the new translation. “And, we pray, O Lord, and I forgot what where I was going with this prayer . . .” Indeed. I dare even the best sentence-diagrammer from back in the day to get through one of these. And lectors used to think sorting out Paul’s run-on sentences was a challenge!

    Deacon Greg, you might want to run a Humor Disclaimer at the start of some posts, so those deficient in this particular sense may skip the hazard to their health. Or pop a laughter supplement.

  • Darren Jones

    I’m a fan (generally) of the new translation (although as an outsider; I’m not a Roman Catholic), but this is hysterical. Especially the “these spotless cookies, these delicious cookies.”

  • Andrew

    Lighten up people. I love the new translation, but think this is hysterical.

  • Meggan

    I think this is very funny and I’m also a little bit offended at the same time. I love the new translation and don’t find it to be clunky at all.

    This recipe made me laugh.

  • michele

    I thought this was HILARIOUS! I’m not a fan of the new translation, but it doesn’t really matter, does it? I love the Eucharist.

  • http://n/a craig

    isn’t it nice not using the same language we use while baking cookies at mass! count me in.

  • Maureen

    Lighten up indeed. Say what you will–at least as Catholics we can laugh at ourselves–and we can certainly use that!

  • http://www.canonlaw.info Ed Peters

    Rendering “calix” as “chalice” is overly literal, I grant, and adding “again” to “donec venias” is odd, but these are small prices to pay for an English translation that, if it does not sing (anymore than the Latin sings) certainly shouts precision and even glory.

  • http://www.canonlaw.info Ed Peters

    What the hey, I thought it was funny. A little edgy. But funny. Try reading it aloud.

  • naturgesetz

    Odder still is that they chose to translate astare coram te as “to be in your presence” instead of the more literal “to stand in your presence” of the previous translation of Eucharistic Prayer II.

  • http://www.canonlaw.info Ed Peters

    –hadn’t notice that one, but you’re right.

  • jennifer

    Oh, for heaven’s sake, people who don’t like it, go join some humorless evengelical Protestant sect. It was funny.

    (And the language isn’t clunky at all. Try reading the pre-V2 Latin Mass, which frankly we ought to have kept using anyway. Good lucky figuring out which is the verb…Latin worked perfectly well for over 1900 years, I don’t see why we had to mess with it…)

  • Paul Lippard

    When we received the new translation, we were told that it was a literal translation of the Mass from Trent. In the 1500’s, “calix” meant “cup”, “calix” didn’t come to mean “chalice” until the 17th Century. Of course, the Scriptures were written in Greek, not Latin, and the Bible says “cup.”

    I have to agree, though, this was hilarious. I couldn’t stop laughing.

    It’s tough to appreciate the new translation when you have to translate the translation. One of the prayers has a sentence that’s 86 words long and ends in a verb. When you have to read the prayer 6 times just to get some idea of what the prayer is saying is a problem. If the priests don’t know what they are praying / saying, how can the congregation ever understand it?

  • tom

    Hysterical! I really enjoyed the parody. Maybe, if the cookies were served on a glass plate, and it fell and broke, it probably would be “through my fault, my most grievous fault.”

  • John Davis

    I too thought it was very funny,, But then it was presented as a parody of the new language.. Did you know that the word “constubantal” does not exist in the English language OUTSIDE of the church? I did the research and found that out.

    Just atteneded a “new wording” seminar.. And though the church has good (in their opinion) reasons for using more elaborate language.

    I am of the “Understanding is more important” school, and when you make up a special word that nobody outside the Vatican knows.. Well, that does not foster understanding at least not till the listener googles it, as I did.

    Thankfully.. That is really my ONLY complaint on the new language,, Most of the other stuff,, For example “And with your spirit” I agree with fully. It is a much better translation than “And also with you”

    Some of it does not “play well” in English (That is the flow of the prayr is disrupted) but alas, that is bound to happen when you translate from another language and try to remain faithful to the original text.

    But that one word (Constubantal) is my only real complaint.


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