Hoekstra Plays Pretend

proposing to establish a federal agency to check the birth certificates of those who run for president to make sure they’re eligible

Like, uh, the Federal Election Commission, for example?

But he wants you to know that this has nothing at all to do with Obama and all that birther bullshit…

It also seems to have nothing at all to do with the fact that such an agency already exists — it’s called the Department of Justice.

Like, uh, the Federal Election Commission, for example?

Not independent enough. Maybe some commission overseen by, say, the wife of a prominent-though-virtually-silent Supreme Court justice. Yeah, that sounds good.

Bronze Dog “So, how many alleged cases of illegal presidential campaigns do we have outside of Obama?”

Clinton, Carter, Johnson, Kennedy, Truman, Roosevelt…

Oh, and they’ll cut costs even further by wearing used white sheets to work. No fancy expensive city-slicker suits for these down-to-earth public servants, nosireebob…hell, they’ll be covering their faces too, so they won’t even have to shave!

While they are creating new agencies to check out the candidates for President (or other offices), we absolutely need one to check and see if they are even human. Or alive.

If you look at the current Tea Party/GOP candidates, there is a huge amount of doubt.

Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry, for example, look like they are Pod People or perhaps Zombies. It’s all there, the glassy eyes, robotic movements, halting speech, disorientation to person, place, and time.

I suspect Hoestra would probably fail such a test.

Could be Hoekstra (rhymes with “Crook-stra”) is just mad — he can’t run for President, because he was born in the Netherlands.

I got gerrymandered into this nutjob’s district back when Gingrich declared his Contract on America. He was all about limited terms back then, so finally quit last go-round. And now I’ve been gerrymandered back to Fred Upton’s district (he’s REALLY not into term limits). So, essentially, we have no representation right now. Upton doesn’t care, because we’re not in his district yet, and Huizenga, the current rep for the Dutch District, doesn’t care because we can’t vote for him in the future.

Those of you outside Michigan District 2 may remember Hoekstra for his one shining moment in the national spotlight — he and his good buddy Rick Santorum calling a presser in ’06 to announce that there were, INDEED, weapons of mass destruction in Iraq! Yeah, that turned out real well. Apparently, however, he is incapable of embarrassment.

I thought they wanted smaller government.

It is smaller government. I mean three people (one FBI guy, one CIA guy, and one oversight guy with only one job every four years) is MUCH smaller than having a whole agency working all the time. /snark