Jacobs Helped Capture Noriega

The litany of stupid and crazy things said by first class loony Cindy Jacobs continues to grow. Not only does she claim to have the power to raise the dead, she also claims that Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega was only captured because people prayed for it to happen.

httpv://youtu.be/QsoSBSsUutI

Yeah, I’m sure it had nothing to do with the actual invasion of Panama, with almost 30,000 troops, ordered by the first President Bush. It was prayer.

About Ed Brayton

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

  • ArtK

    God seems like the world’s worst boss. He’s given credit for every good thing that happens, but every bad thing gets blamed on someone else. “You didn’t pray hard enough.” “Too much of teh gays.”

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    Prayer! That and the 101st Airborne and you can invade places!

  • F

    Maybe she can do the same about Julian Assange. (Every time someone suggests that the UK simply violate the Ecuadoran embassy, the invasion of Panama to smack down yet another rogue US tool is what I think if.)

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Why didn’t she pray for the various mass graves of the “collateral damage” to be concealed more successfully?

  • Brad

    When the Templeton Foundation can’t get a rigorous study showing the efficacy of prayer, I think we can close the book on the issue. What a ridiculous tool.

  • Stevarious

    Why didn’t she pray for the various mass graves of the “collateral damage” to be concealed more successfully?

    Have you READ the bible? Yahweh is ALL ABOUT piles of corpses rotting in the sun.

  • vmanis1

    Well, I prayed for the success of the Star Trek reboot back in 2010. And look, it worked!

  • steve oberski

    @Stevarious

    Yahweh is ALL ABOUT piles of corpses rotting in the sun.

    According to heddle that’s OK as long as his god commands it.

  • http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Weird how prayer only worked after his long trail of chicanery and general assholery became too obvious and too well publicized to paper over, making a former US asset a current US liability, hmmm?

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    Yeah, what about all the Panamanians who prayed for him to go? Guess they prayed to the wrong invisible person, since they were mainly Catholics.

  • dan4

    Even taking the claim on its own terms doesn’t paint a terribly flattering picture of God (IMHO, anway). God had the power to cause Noriega to be captured…but ONLY if someone prayed for him to do so?

  • F

    timgueguen

    They weren’t doing it right – they were supposed to pray for someone to send Marines. Other requests didn’t make it through.

  • Stevarious

    According to heddle that’s OK as long as his god commands it.

    William Lane Craig said so too.

  • http://rationaldreaming.com tacitus

    I was listening to Catholic radio in the car earlier and they were interviewing one of the wounded victims of the recent Colorado shooting. She obliged the host with comments about how she felt God’s protecting arm around her and all the usual nonsense (as others–clearly not as worthy as her–died around her), but things got particularly ludicrous when she described how a young man entered the theater as she was lying on the floor and helped her get out of there.

    Breathlessly, the host asked “Was it an angel?”

    To her credit the young woman explained that it had been a young Native American guy who’d also called in to see her while she was in hospital. The host did seem a little disappointed that it was just some ordinary, braver-than-the-average guy who did the rescuing, and probably not even a Christian — but he did his best to push the theory he only saved her because of her prayers and imprecations anyway.

    Whatever fits, I guess.

  • http://amethyststarling.wordpress.com amethyststarling

    Well, I prayed for the success of the Star Trek reboot back in 2010. And look, it worked!

    I am praying for the return of Rome. I loved that show! I am running through all of the Roman deities to get the right one though, because so far no one is answering my prayers darn it!

  • iangould

    amethsystStarling: You want Agnostos Theos.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unknown_God

  • iangould

    Montrealprotest, how would you know whether or not Ed’s impotent, unless you fucked him?

  • John Hinkle

    I’m sure her audience was sitting there and thinking, hmm, she’s using prayer as a post hoc explanation. That’s silly. That means prayer can be used to explain anything post hoc.

     

    Right?

  • dingojack

    Ian – MontrealPocketPool is a certifiable loser from Canada who likes to issue threats. He was ordered by the courts not to use a computer or the Internet in order to avoid jail time (and all the unpleasantry involved with that).

    Do not engage the loser lest you give it the impression it’s even vaguely interesting or impressive.

    Dingo

    —–

    PS: Watch out Davie-boy, I hear someone real close to you dropped a dime. Beware, the RCMP’s sniffing around your life.