Zinnia Jones linked to this story on Man Boobz that documents a Reddit thread where a woman — the same woman in the video here at Cristina Rad’s blog — actually defends men who beat women on the grounds that the woman might be nagging him and, besides, the men think of the violence as foreplay and that it leads to better sex. Think I’m exaggerating? I’m not.
This was written in response to an article that defended violence against women, concluding:
Women should be terrorized by their men; it’s the only thing that makes them behave better than chimps.
And girlsayswhat has this bizarre take on that article:
I used to live under a young couple with a baby. I’d listen as she followed him from room to room upstairs, stomping, slamming things, throwing things, screaming. After about an hour, he’d eventually hit her, and everything would go quiet. An hour after that, they’d be out with the baby in the stroller, looking perfectly content with each other.
A man I know who has experience with men in abusive relationships would get his clients to answer a questionare. Things like, “after the violence, did you have sex?” “If so, how would you rate the sex?” 100% of men in reciprocally abusive relationships said “yes” to the first, and “scorching” to the second.
He also posited that the much-quoted cycle of violence–the build-up, the explosion, the honeymoon period–correlates with foreplay, orgasm and post-coital bliss.
Erin Pizzey called it “consensual violence”, and said in the main, that was the type she’d see at her shelter. It is also the type that results in the most severe injuries in women, surprise surprise, likely because our “never EVER hit a woman” mentality has those men waiting until they completely lose control of their emotions before giving their women what they’re demanding.
The DV in Sleeping with the Enemy is the most rare form out there, half as common as “matriarchal terrorism”, and injuries are typically less severe. It’s seriously foolish to treat all cases like the most rare type, and refuse to address women’s instigation and participation in violence.
I don’t really find too much in the article that strikes me as seriously ethically questionable. DV isn’t pretty. Neither is the article.
This left my jaw agape, as it should yours. There’s much more of this kind of vile commentary in the thread, including statements like these from others:
[ghebert001] I would assume the majority of men who hit their girlfriends or wives don’t do it “just because”…they do it because the woman keeps emotionally manipulating and abusing the poor guy to the point where, non-violent as he may be, he reaches his breaking point, snaps and then proceeds to lay the smackdown as they say…
[JeremiahGuy] Almost all domestic violence is caused by women…Fact is, if men were allowed to discipline their women, domestic violence would be rare, as women wouldn’t start shit in the first place.
And when ghebert001 said that “violence shouldn’t be allowed or encouraged” by anyone, JeremiahGuy replied:
You’re arguing for a fascist police state that criminalizes masculinity.
And people wonder why we consider these MRAs to be creeps.