Behold the Dueling Prayer Rallies

It’s not a coincidence that the religious right is simultaneously holding several different prayer events immediately before an election. Such events have two purposes: 1) to motivate religious right voters to go to the polls, and 2) to raise money for religious right organizations (both directly and by adding new names to their collective mailing lists for future fleecing).

I’ve already mentioned 40 Days to Save America, which is scheduled to start on Sept. 28th and end on Nov. 6th. That one is organized by Rick Scarborough, who held a similar event in 2008. The board of governors for that event includes Tony Perkins, Robert Jeffress, Anne Giminez, Janet Porter, Mat Staver, Jerry Boykin, Jim Garlow, Dave Butts, Tim Wildmon and Harry Jackson.

Then there’s If My People 2012, which is scheduled for — hey, what a coincidence — Sept. 28 to Nov. 6th. They’ve got “prayer leaders” instead of a board of governors, and those leaders include many of the same names — Tony Perkins, Dave Butts, and Harry Jackson, along with folks like Kirk Cameron, Mike Huckabee and Ken Ham.

And there’s America for Jesus 2012, which happens Sept. 28-29. That event has a list of leaders, which also include many of the names involved in the other two events — Anne Giminez, Harry Jackson, Jim Garlow, and Dave Butts, along with major league crackpots Lou Engle and Cindy Jacobs.

All of these events will do exactly the same thing, which is nothing at all — other than lining the coffers of the religious frauds running them, of course.

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About Ed Brayton

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

  • http://thecyberneticatheist.blogspot.com/ RW Ahrens

    “All of these events will do exactly the same thing, which is nothing at all — other than lining the coffers of the religious frauds running them, of course.”

    What a coincidence…

  • dingojack

    Awww – you mean Cindi et al.won’t be re-growing limbs, raising the dead, curing the sick by merely touching them, turning water in wine or handling the event catering with a couple of sardines and a few slices of Wonder White? *

    I am disappointed.

    Dingo

    —–

    * and other ironically blasphemous claims (assuming, as Christians do, the Jesus is part of god)

  • matty1

    ‘If my people 2012′

    Wait 2012 is a verb now, what does it mean?

    If my people 2012 I will 1984

    Sorry I was going to 2012 but I got stuck in traffic

    Do you 2012?

  • Chiroptera

    matty1, #3:

    Heh.

    America for Jesus 2012

    I’m guessing Jesus 2012 is the Jesus with the latest upgrades?

  • dingojack

    matty1 – ‘I 2012 like a dunny door, mate!’
    ;) Dingo (Master of 2012ing)

  • Michael Heath

    Ed writes:

    All of these events will do exactly the same thing, which is nothing at all — other than lining the coffers of the religious frauds running them, of course.

    Well they also provide “proof” that because these prayer rallies were held in 2008 and yet America still sinned by voting for the uppity black usurper, God gave us hurricanes and extreme droughts to punish us for not submitting to his will.

    Assuming the odds play-out and President Obama is re-elected and assuming we continue to encounter an increase in extreme weather as predicted by climate scientists, we can also safely predict these flocks will increase their promotion that extreme weather is caused not by anthropogenic global warming, but America abandoning God given its love affair with black dick. Actually given WorldNetDaily’s Jerome Corsi new theory going around, that should read our love affair with “gay black dick”.

  • dingojack

    OK Michael since you introduced the idea into my head:

    Intrade today

    Winner of the 2012 Presidential election

    (Figures in parathenses are percent change over last week)

    By Party

    Democratic: 76.290% (+5.3606) [lead by 52.976]

    Republican: 23.313% (-5.5576)

    other: 0.2% (+0.197)

    Head-to-head

    Obama: 75.976% (+5.483) [lead by 51.952]

    Romney: 24.024% (-5.483)

    Five weeks to go.

    Dingo

  • Subtract Hominem

    Heh.

    America for Jesus 2012

    I’m guessing Jesus 2012 is the Jesus with the latest upgrades?

    Not quite. Jesus is trying to ride the success of Kony 2012, but is once again showing his notoriously poor aim.

  • http://www.rodlamkey.net reverendrodney

    To justify any glitches it should be:

    JESUS 2012 BETA

  • dingojack

    Do each of the rallies come with their own banjo accompaniment?

    Dingo

  • Larry

    I think you have the two purposes out of order, Ed. With any RW religious event, the primary purpose is always to raise money. Always.

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    @Matty1

    “Do you 2012?” Not on a first date.

  • Crip Dyke, MQ, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    While some may prefer to 2012 on a Saturday night, I actually – and this is showing my age – prefer to 2112.

  • Aliasalpha

    Personally I plan to 2525, assuming man is still alive that is

  • eoraptor013

    @14 Aliasalpha

    Or 7575… if he’s coming, he ought to be here by then.

  • eamick

    dingojack:

    ‘I 2012 like a dunny door, mate!’

    OK, I know what a dunny door is, but the rest of the expression escapes me. Would you please enlighten your (kinda) antipodean cousins?

  • busterggi

    All praying will be done to the late Lester Flatt & Earl Scruggs theme music.

  • cry4turtles

    What happened to good ol’ 69? Anyway, this tells me they have many prayers, but few prayees.

  • billydee

    “Such events have two purposes: 1) to motivate religious right voters to go to the polls, and 2) to raise money for religious right organizations (both directly and by adding new names to their collective mailing lists for future fleecing).” Ed: I agree with your call on the priorities for these events, but I think that raising money is ALWAYS the number one priority. The nutjobs who appear at these events aren’t doing it out of the xian goodness of their hearts. They expect demand) a big check at the end. Just the cost of teeth-whitening for Kirk Cameron is worth a second collection at his rallies.

  • Draken

    I wonder, if two large prayer rallies broadcast at the same frequency, do the coinciding prayer waves amplify each other? If so, isn’t there also a chance that they oscillate in antiphase and thus extinguish each other before they reach Jehova Air Station?

  • davem

    Wait 2012 is a verb now, what does it mean?

    From page 398 of my dictionary:

    To 1963: verb, to talk nonsense about the shooting of JFK

    To 1968: verb, to talk nonsense about the moon landing

    To 2001: verb, to talk nonsense about the WTC

    To 2012: verb, to talk nonsense about the end of the World

  • sunsangnim

    So I’m assuming they’re supporting the Protestant over the Mormon in this election?


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