Pat Reacts to the Election

November 13, 2012 by 28 Comments

I’ve been having so much fun watching the wingnuts freaking out over Obama’s reelection that I almost forgot about our favorite Michigan moonbat, Pat. I was sure his reaction to Tuesday’s results would be entertaining and ridiculous and he did not disappoint.

Warning this blog posting will be rambling, disjointed and basically pissy sounding.

That’s okay. We’re used to that.

I am pissed off at Chris Christie, as far as I am concerned that fat piece of human excrement could die of a massive heart attack and stroke; and I would not even shed a tear.

Well that’s just what Jesus would do, I’m sure. But seriously, could anyone reasonably think that Chris Christie saying nice things about Obama is what swung the election? That would be borderline delusional.

I see that Romney won the popular vote, but lost the electoral college.

Uh, no. Obama won the popular vote by about 3 million votes.

As a Christian; I fear for Israel, I believe that the process towards to the second coming of Jesus Christ for his Saints and his Church is going to be accelerated. Watch Iran, China and Russia; biblical prophecy is going to be fulfilled and quickly, get your houses in order and I mean quickly.

I think Pat needs a HWJP bracelet — How Would Jesus Punctuate? And as a Christian, wouldn’t having the second coming of Christ accelerated be a good thing, not a bad thing?

The Elitists; The Podhoretz’s, The Kristol’s and the professional writers will do well, for the next four years. As for me; this mean that my parents are going to have to continue to support me. But, I am going to try to find some sort of work around here. I might try the Meijer’s near here. I might apply for a job working midnight, as a stock boy. I don’t know if I can get hired, because I worked for them long ago, and yes, it sucked. But, anything beats sitting in front of a laptop not getting paid.

I’m not sure element of that paragraph is funniest. Here are the three possibilities:

1. That he thinks the outcome of the election has something to do with whether his parents have to continue to support him.

2. That he waited until after the election to think about trying to find work, as though Romney’s election would magically have changed his life and dropped a good job in his lap. Maybe he thought he was going to be a cabinet position? Do we have a Secretary of Stupidity?

3. That despite the fact that he has been sponging off his parents for years without a job, he’s still a “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” conservative.

You decide which is funnier.

Oh, and he was tweeting during the election returns too. That made for some fun, as he followed the five stages of grief while throwing in some occasional misogyny and stupidity:

@AnnDRomney Already did Mrs. First Lady. Can’t wait till you take your rightful place in the White House!

Remember everyone, percentages don’t mean jack. What matters is the electoral count. and right now Romney’s leading.

Hey #p2 we’re still ahead….. BWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! #MITTROMNEY2012

This fucking blows. And to beat all @FoxNews has that stupid bitch @SarahPalinUSA on. Fuck sakes! #tcot

Thank God @FoxNews got that air headed femin-nazi off the air!

Whew. We’re ahead. Again

Congrats @BarackObama and @GovChristie you can go to hell you fast assed piece of shit! #tcot

I hope that Fat Fucker dies of massive stoke and heart attack!

The gift that keeps on giving.

Filed Under: Wingnuttia 28 Comments
About Ed Brayton

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

  • Sastra

    That reaction seemed a little too pat.

  • http://aceofsevens.wordpress.com Ace of Sevens

    Probably another person who wrote as soon as the election was called without realizing the Obama-loving west coast wasn’t done counting yet.

  • http://www.electricminstrel.com Brett McCoy

    Wait, what? He thinks Sarah Palin is a feminazi?

  • jamessweet

    This isn’t funny anymore, it’s just sad. The way he tries to pin his failure to find a job on the result of the election hits a little too close to him in terms of people certain people in my life who can never take an ounce of responsibility for their problems.

    Pat’s just a sad human being and I think we should ignore him :(

  • Who Knows?

    As for me; this mean that my parents are going to have to continue to support me.

    Of all the excuses I’ve ever heard coming from lazy ass losers who are living with their parents, this is by far one of the worst.

  • dingojack

    Hey Pat – concerning your tweet: “I hope that Fat Fucker dies of massive stoke and heart attack!” as christian you should meditate on Matthew 7:3-5 (and eat more healthily and get some exercise)… :)

    But even then, I see that Governor Christie has a career, a family, isn’t sponging off his parents, isn’t living in his parent’s basement and is doing something useful with his life – how about you?

    Dingo

  • rmsc

    I am going to give him an attaboy for failing as a stockboy before but being willing to give it another shot.

  • Michael Heath

    Ed writes:

    But seriously, could anyone reasonably think that Chris Christie saying nice things about Obama is what swung the election? That would be borderline delusional.

    The president was slated to win prior to Sandy where the results which came in after Sandy were consistent with the odds and the predicted state-by-state results. So I’ll assert this is typical behavior; it’s at least idiocy combined with a typical dose of denialism on what actually occurred.

    I think this reaction also qualifies for the type of delusion we expect to encounter from conservative populists, Christian or secular. It’s incredible how consistent these two population’s behavior is, unfortunate as it is for all of humanity.

    Four years ago I finally gave up waiting for the lamp to power-on.

  • http://cheapsignals.blogspot.com Gretchen

    Pat is a bit porky himself as I recall…no? Stocking shelves on the night shift is actually pretty good exercise. I did that in college. It’s good work if you’re not exactly cut out for customer service, which it sounds like might just describe him.

    Unemployment and underemployment sucks. It surely must suck even more to think that the presidential election is going to affect you in that regard, and that the guy you thought would help you (How?? Mitt Romney hates people like Pat) ends up losing.

  • Michael Heath

    Pat:

    I see that Romney won the popular vote, but lost the electoral college.

    Ed responds:

    Uh, no. Obama won the popular vote by about 3 million votes.

    Someone I know in meat-world also can’t concede this fact.

  • Blondin

    I guess Pat is just fed up with sitting in front of his laptop all day, every day, reading tweets & posts & articles about all the “takers” who won’t lift a finger to take responsibility for themselves but just rely on other people to work & pay taxes & provide handouts.

  • DaveL

    and I would not even shed a tear.

    I’ve always found this to be an odd turn of phrase to use regarding someone you’ve never met. I strongly doubt I would weep at Gov. Christie’s death, and I don’t bear him any ill will. I simply don’t know him from Adam.

  • http://teethofthebuzzsaw.blogspot.com Buzz Saw

    3. That despite the fact that he has been sponging off his parents for years without a job, he’s still a “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” conservative.

    I’m sorry. I can’t find that funny. So that means, since I can’t laugh at it, I’ll have to cry. I’ve just seen too much conservative hypocrisy when it comes to this that I can’t take it anymore.

  • Michael Heath

    Pat writes:

    As a Christian; I fear for Israel, I believe that the process towards to the second coming of Jesus Christ for his Saints and his Church is going to be accelerated.

    And yet Jewish voters were 69% to 30% in favor of President Obama. Perhaps Jewish voters are smart enough to realize that it’s conservative Christians like Pat who fantasize about the destruction of Israel, a la Pat, Sarah Palin, and John Hagee; rather than optimal peace for all humans.

    Cite: http://www.cnn.com/election/2012/results/race/president

    You then need to navigate to the Exit Polls tab, go the table titled, “Vote by Religion”, and click below the graph on, “See Table View”. There’s a wealth of great information on that exit poll tab page.

  • DaveL

    This isn’t funny anymore, it’s just sad.

    I’m conflicted about this. It’s easy to mock Pat’s delusions, posturing and hypocrisy – but at the same time that same twisted perception of reality seems, on a personal level, to have led to a very real human tragedy. That tragedy deserves our compassion. On the gripping hand, this same diseased thinking on the aggregate level threatens us with national tragedy. This narrative that we can cut our taxes, pay off our debt, keep a huge military, and preserve SS and Medicare all by stomping on racial minorities and cutting NPR and foreign aid is toxic to our fiscal soundness and to civil society. Its proponents have inoculated themselves against facts and reason, and hold to these narratives because they stroke their egos. It could be that mockery is the only thing capable of cracking that shell.

  • http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

    I believe I saw Fox “news” even report the popular vote total.

    That a certain segment of the population, a week after the election, is incapable of learning what the true vote totals were pretty much says it all about their ignorance of basic facts. That and their ability to ignore those facts when they are in conflict with their preconceived notions.

    I saw a FB post a couple of days ago from a conservative qustioning the electoral college because Romney won the popular vote.

    I don’t recall any questioning from Wingnutville over the Bush-Gore popular vote. The system we have is the one that both sides play by.

  • ImaginesABeach

    I have to suspect that the term “popular” is being used the way it was in high school – to refer to the cool kids with the social power – rather than the way it is used by adults describing election results.

  • Larry

    Give the guy credit. At least he’s he’s leeching off mom and dad instead of being one of the 47%.

    That shows some initiative.

  • sunsangnim

    As for me; I’m wondering what fast assed means.

  • baal

    I thought ‘moonbat’ could only be applied to leftists?

    Also, I followed the link…I don’t recommend it. The target webpage showed up with 5 columns and most of it text. Really, are rightists so impoverished on basic design considerations? It’s like the schools should have art classes or something so even conservatives can get the basics. I’m not sure what the word would be for someone who fails even basic organization – like illiterate, innumeracy and ___?

  • http://cheapsignals.blogspot.com Gretchen

    At least he’s he’s leeching off mom and dad instead of being one of the 47%.

    The 47% is anybody who isn’t paying federal income tax. That includes Pat and his mom and dad, most likely.

  • trog69

    I am sorta the left-wing version of ol’ Pat, in that I’m on disability and thus have way more time on my hands for internet surfing than is healthy. I am in slightly better shape, financially, anyway, because I did work for +26 years in a union, and thus have SS and an almost full-pension.

    While I still spend way too much time on-line, I am lucky to have the wherewithal to build this gaming rig, so when I read too many articles about how a town full of Pat-clones have elected their one-eyed king to a state leg., I can at least use the escape hatch that leads to Skyrim, or the DC Wasteland, etc.

    The last posting on his web page is a very sad thing to read. He is so muddled and confused that he cannot fathom even blatant hand-holding sarcasm, and lashes out a someone parroting his beliefs entirely. This is far beyond Dunning-Kruger, into lands far from safety. I feel so sorry for him, I just cannot stay angry at his addled misogyny and racism.

  • kermit.

    I might try the Meijer’s near here. I might apply for a job working midnight, as a stock boy. I don’t know if I can get hired, because I worked for them long ago, and yes, it sucked.

    So… he might not get hired because the local Meijer’s people might remember him? I’d ask what he did, but “doing” implies something energetic. Perhaps he got caught sleeping in a back nook, like a fella did here a few years ago. He got fired.

    But yes, stock boy isn’t a bad job for someone with limited social skills. The only problem is low pay, but he could continue to live in Mom’s basement, pay the folks half and have some real spending money. A 16 year-old’s dream.

    How old is he, thirty?

  • F

    I am just appreciating Sastra’s pun.

  • Canadian Yankee

    @baal:

    Also, I followed the link…I don’t recommend it. The target webpage showed up with 5 columns and most of it text.

    Yeah, I typically keep my web browser in a profile-oriented monitor. When I opened up Pat’s page, the middle column was so smooshed that block-quoted bold text was reduced to a single character per line. It was completely unreadable.

  • eric

    What matters is the electoral count. and right now Romney’s leading.

    For the forseeable future, the republican candidate will always lead throughout most of election day. Why? Because California is on the west coast.

  • naturalcynic

    Pat’s mind-set has t be similar to a Scooby-Doo villain. When he doesn’t succeed, it has to be such a close thing that some act of providence interferes with his almost foolproof nefarious scheme. If it wasn’t for those darn kids that bitch Sandy, his plans would have come to fruition. And then it was topped off by an act of callous betrayal by someone he thought was on his side [Christie]. Oh, what an unjustful demise of his righteous plans.

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