Fischer: God ‘Spanks’ Us With Natural Disasters

Bryan Fischer, noted climatologist and seismologist, says that natural disasters like earthquakes and hurricanes are sent by God to punish us the same way a parent spanks their child. Because punishing a specific person for doing something wrong is just like killing huge numbers of people with horrible calamities.


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  • Recreant

    What Fischer must mean is that the two are similar in this regard: Neither one really explains why the actions predicating the punishment are wrong and thus are woefully ineffecitve in modifying behaviour in a meaningful way. They rely on fear of punishment rather than construcitve understanding to achieve compliance.

  • Yet another example of the level of immorality required to believe in the Just World Hypothesis.

  • birgerjohansson

    Considering the huge energy requirements for an earthquake, it would be better to just launch a Death Star into Earth orbit.

  • “Fischer: God ‘Spanks’ Us With Natural Disasters”

    Am I the only one who gets the image of Fischer saying this and then, when the camera goes off, standing to reveal to the flabbergasted staff that he’s wearing nothing but chaps and is sporting a soft-on? Oh, wait, what am I THINKING OF. Of course the staff would not be flabbergasted.

  • zippythepinhead

    In the immortal words of Ace Ventura, “Spank you. Spank you very much.”

  • wscott

    Recreant beat me to it.

  • MikeMa

    I’m betting that getting Bryan a whip and handcuffs for his birthday would be redundant.

  • It’s not just earthquakes and tornadoes and hurricanes (oh my!). Sometimes the spanking is sent by way of a toddler with a brain tumor.

  • oranje

    Ah, loving 50’s paternalism. The great metaphor for postmodernism denialists.

  • “The gods send calamity upon the just and unjust alike.”

    “Then what use are the gods?”

    I don’t remember where I heard this bit of dialog, but it seems appropriate to the post.

  • anubisprime

    So the Freudian imagery reveals the underlying desires and wishes…I would spank the fucker…with a shovel!

  • cottonnero

    So God is a shitty, distant, uncommunicative, violent parent. Got it.

    Hmm… there’s a good line in there. “I’m in a relationship with Jesus.” “Yeah, an abusive relationship.” Something like that.

  • Didaktylos

    (not sure I’ve got the quote quite right) Lt Worf: We Klingons had gods once.Ancient Klingon warriors slew them because they were more trouble than they were worth.

  • Well, Fischer’s argument makes perfect sense if you believe in a sadistic and cruel motherfucker like Yahweh of the OT.

  • “Really? Huh.”

    ~ The Dinosaurs

  • Sastra

    This is bizarre. The guy starts off his rant with a well-known fact about disasters: “It is always a call on the people of a land to repent before God.” Always. Every single case. Whether the land contains Christians or not, apparently.

    I guess this is unfalsifiable, since there could be no conceivable situation where people don’t have to repent, given original sin. But this would make it very hard to see how any specific act of a nation could be seen as worse than any other. The hurricane is as likely to be a punishment against not enough people going to church as it is for declaring unjust war or ratifying gay marriage.

    Aw, who am I kidding? The entire thing makes no sense, and relies on a believer looking at the world through the tiny little lens of whatever they, at the moment, think God might be mad at. “Oh, a volcano! My neighbor shouldn’t have put his garbage cans out on the curb two days early. See what he did to that neighborhood in the valley?”

    Why not? It’s completely egocentric and completely arbitrary. And, as others have mentioned, it turns God into a psychopathic parent, willing to strike out and hit for every infraction — or even none at all. “That’s for what yer gonna do!”

  • Sastra “Why not? It’s completely egocentric and completely arbitrary.”

    It is not! God is punishing other people for what other people do wrong! What could be less ecocentrical and less arbitrary than that?

  • Sounds liek DHS should investigate God to me.

  • “And, as others have mentioned, it turns God into a psychopathic parent, willing to strike out and hit for every infraction — or even none at all. “That’s for what yer gonna do!””

    Or as my mom would have said, had she been a goddess:

    “You be quiet, or I’ll give you something to gnash your teeth and rend your garments ABOUT!”.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Looks like we need a map of the world (or at least USA) showing the relative harm done from natural disasters. Obvious stuff should jump right out, like “the people of Oregon are much more righteous than those of Oklahoma,” and “the people of San Francisco are much more righteous than the people of Alabama.”

    While I’m not down with the methodology, I’ll go along with the conclusions.