Fischer: Obama to Take Guns From Christians

While much of the loony right is claiming that Obama is going to seize all the guns, Bryan Fischer apparently doesn’t think quite so big. He says Obama is only going to seize some of the guns — the ones belonging to Christians, of course, who are forever on the verge of terrible persecution that never actually happens.


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About Ed Brayton

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

  • busterggi

    I don’t recall any question as to religion being asked on gun purchase forms.

    Of course probably most gun owners are Christians because, ya know, they are the most persecuted people in the US.

  • Sastra

    They don’t need to ask questions about religion on gun purchase forms.

    They can just look in your eyes and tell that you have Jesus in your life. Yes. It is that obvious. You have been transformed.

    The non-christians don’t look people in the eye. Ever. Shifty devils.

  • timgueguen

    If Bryan Fischer has any guns it would be nice if someone seized them I’d trust that guy with a gun as much as I’d trust a rabid pack of hyenas.

  • fifthdentist

    “I’d trust that guy with a gun as much as I’d trust a rabid pack of hyenas.”

    Now, now. As stupid as Fischer is, there’s a very good chance he might shoot himself.

  • TGAP Dad

    Any reason why we SHOULDN’T take guns from people who believe that you get to paradise after you die, and have an apocalypse fetish?

  • dan4

    @5: Last time I checked, the 2nd Amendment says, “the right of the people to keep and bear arms,” not “the right of non-Christian people to keep and bear arms.”

  • composer99

    @6: Yeah, never mind that “well-regulated” bit. Or the possibility that TGAP Dad is venting and has no reasonable expectation of seizing any firearms Fischer may (or may not) possess.

  • jonnewman

    I am sure Jesus would approve of guns.

  • Geds

    I’d trust that guy with a gun as much as I’d trust a rabid pack of hyenas.

    I dunno. I think I’d give Bryan Fischer a pack of rabid hyenas. That’s probably solve at least one of the world’s problems…

  • Artor

    Hey, I have a pack of rabid hyenas right here. I’ve been wondering what to do with them for a while. Does anyone have Fischer’s address?

  • d.c.wilson

    More persecution envy from the fundjelicals. They keep hoping Nero will return and throw them to the lions again, but it never happens.

  • democommie


    They keep hoping that Nero will return and throw OTHER Christians to the lions.

  • thumper1990

    “What President Obama is doing here is he’s setting up the stage to take guns away from Evangelicals. I mean that’s the logical outcome here.”

    That word, logic… it does not mean what you think it means.

  • kermit.

    timgueguen – I have no fear that Fischer will shoot anybody.


    1. Those folks might fight back – they might throw a chair or something.


    2. There’s no profit to be had while in prison (or at least, not as much profit). True, he could indulge freely in being the persecuted Christian. (“He was obviously godless – he deserved to be shot!”) But he can do that outside of prison, where he can live in comfort and make more godly money.


    The ones we have to worry about are his followers. The ones too crazy and paranoid to care about consequences. They can commit suicide by cop and also feel righteous while doing so. What’s not to like?