On Wednesday, 12 of the most conservative members of the U.S. House of Representatives held a press conference to throw a fit about the DOMA ruling. Michele Bachmann had only an hour earlier issued a statement claiming that same-sex marriage had never been tried before in history:
“For thousands of years of recorded human history, no society has defended the legal standard of marriage as anything other than between man and woman. Only since 2000 have we seen a redefinition of this foundational unit of society in various nations.”
“[T]he most wise men [sic] in history, Solomon, said ‘There’s nothing new under the sun,’ and this [same-sex marriage] isn’t new and it’s been tried over and over, and it’s usually tried at the end of a great civilization.”
None of Solomon’s 700 wives or 300 concubines could be reached for comment. Jesus, they really need to make those irony meters out of titanium. So which is it? Has same-sex marriage never been tried before? Or has it been tried many times over and caused the destruction of multiple civilizations? But that settles it. Louis, you win. You are officially the dumbest person in Congress. Sorry, Michele Bachmann. We’ll give you the Miss Congeniality award instead.