Creek Stewart owns an academy for survivalists. Creek Stewart is very manly and he wants to make sure you know it. Creek Stewart has a view of gender that is so simplistic as to be utterly cartoonish. And he wants to save American masculinity. How do we do that? By “getting tough.” So drop and give me 20, plebes!
Yes, of course. Because every single boy is exactly alike, dontchaknow. Every single one of them, with no variation whatsoever. And wouldn’t you know it, they’re all just like Creek Stewart. Quite a coincidence.
I’m not a parent, and I won’t pretend to know how to raise children. But I am a guy and was once a boy and I know what boys want – and what their masculine spirit needs. I also know that if we don’t let them be boys, then the survival of masculinity in America is at stake. Help save masculinity and the American man by encouraging the following ideals with the boys in your life.
Get into the wild
Boys want adventure. They want to be a part of wild nature. They love the challenge that being in nature presents.
If your boy is trapped in suburbia, get him into the woods once in a while before his masculinity is suburbanized. Suburbia will kill the adventurous spirit in even the most manly man if he can never venture into the wild. Men and boys need nature and the wild adventure that it offers. Let them experience the organized chaos that only nature can provide. Give them a landscape view instead of one across a remote control. Let them throw rocks, wade in creeks, fish, chase small game animals, explore paths, hunt for arrowheads, run barefoot, build forts and hike mountains. Nature will take care of the rest.
Let them play with things that can hurt them
Yes, let them play with dangerous things. Boys want to be warriors, soldiers and hunters. Warriors, soldiers and hunters carry weapons. All boys want to play with weapons, and there is nothing wrong with that. It’s natural, and that masculine desire should not be stifled.
And what about those boys who do not, in fact, want to be warriors, soldiers and hunters? Well they’re probably gay, you see, and just need it beaten out of them. Or prayed out of them. Hey, whatever works. Binary thinking for the win — except no one is going to win here.