Olive Garden is God!

Remember Cindy Jacobs and her claim that God once gave her a bottomless bowl of spaghetti, which she deemed a miracle? Turns out God must be running the Olive Garden.

olivegarden

It’s a miracle!

Isn't that a law prohibiting the defamation of maple syrup?

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Jeremy Shaffer

    In the apt words of Jon Bon Jovi, so long as you set the bar low enough anything can be a miracle. I may have paraphrased that a little bit but I think I captured the spirit well enough.

  • nichrome

    Olive Garden isn’t God — it isn’t even Good. 😉

  • teawithbertrand

    Like most miracles, it can be yours for one low, low price.

  • troll

    Heretic! The One True God is the Macaroni Grill. Repent, and turn away from your false idols.

  • dingojack

    So that’s what Jesus (and all his little friends) were doing in the Garden of Gethsemane! Mystery solved.

    Dingo

  • http://composer99.blogspot.ca composer99

    But did she have a coupon from the paper?

  • leftwingfox

    So that’s what Jesus (and all his little friends) were doing in the Garden of Gethsemane!

    There were endless breadsticks, they just tasted a bit fishy.

  • dingojack

    “Of course it’s kosher. It’s chicken of the sea. Honest.”

    Dingo

  • UnknownEric the Apostate

    And sometimes, during promotions, they’ll turn your complimentary water into complimentary wine!

  • laurentweppe

    I’ll believe in their miracles when they provide an endless stream of white truffle oil to go with their pasta.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1360322113 aaronbaker

    Olive Garden isn’t God — it isn’t even Good.

    I’ll admit to liking their endless Zuppa Toscana (Italian Wedding Soup).

  • kosk11348

    Oh, come on! If there was ever a miracle attributable to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, this is it.

  • http://polrant@blogspot.com democommie

    ENDLESS PASTA*!

    I count it as a minor miracle that I come home from chain restaurants without a touch of salmonella.

    * Oh, you wanted sauce with that? Sorry, that’s extra!!

  • pianoman, Heathen & Torontophile

    I would count it as a miracle if it was confirmed that native Italians – I was once told – actually love their food.

  • laurentweppe

    I would count it as a miracle if it was confirmed that native Italians – I was once told – actually love their food.

    By “love their food, do you mean Olive Garden’s, or Italians’ food: because I can assure you that my grandfather loved his Italian cuisine, often rode from Nice to Ventimiglia to buy from the local markets.

  • pianoman, Heathen & Torontophile

    @laurentweppe – sorry, I mean love OG’s food.

  • bmiller

    I don’t need white truffle oil, I just need pasta that’s not limp from pre-cooking or over-cooking. :(

    I am a hardcore member of the Aldenteest sect of FSM! :)

  • exdrone

    So Cindy Jacobs’s god is an Italian mother. “You look so thin. Eat! Eat!”

  • freehand

    exdrone:

    Italian? I seem to recall my German grandmother saying something like that, although my Chinese college roommate said this exhortation practically defined Chinese mothers. Also, something something Jewish mothers.