PETA: Chicken Wings Lead to Small Penis

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has been known to say some really dumb things from time to time. Here’s another. In a letter to organizers of the National Buffalo Wing Festival, PETA says eating chicken wings could cause a future child to have a smaller penis.

This morning, PETA sent a letter to Drew Cerza, founder of the National Buffalo Wing Festival, with an ominous warning: The latest scientific evidence shows that the sons of pregnant women who consume chicken are more likely to have smaller penises because of a chemical found in the birds’ flesh. And it’s not just boys who are at risk from chicken. Babies, including girls, of mothers who have high cholesterol counts—and chicken is loaded with cholesterol—can be born with blocked arteries.

“Pregnant women may want to think twice before chomping on those chicken wings, or their sons could come up short,” says PETA Associate Director of Campaigns Lindsay Rajt.

The chemicals they refer to are phthalates, but most exposure to them comes from plastic containers, not from food. They’re also found in cosmetic products. Women’s Health magazine debunks PETA’s claim:

The research PETA mentioned from the Study for Future Families didn’t look at chicken consumption at all—it looked at how prenatal phthalate exposure affects boys reproductively in a variety of ways, one of which was penis size. It is true that, according to the Study for Future Families’ research, boys born to moms with the highest levels of phthalate exposure (defined as those in the top 25th percentile) were more likely to have shorter penises than those born to moms with the lowest levels of phthalate exposure (those in the bottom 25th percentile)…

It’s scary, yes, but here’s the thing: You gain exposure to phthalates in lots of ways, such as when you use certain personal care products, when you eat out of plastic containers, and when you consume anything on the list of many, many foods that contain phthalates, says Shanna H. Swan, Ph.D., a professor in the department of preventive medicine at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, who conducted the research PETA cites. What’s more, chicken doesn’t even rank particularly high on the list of foods containing phthalates (spices are actually at the top of the list, according to one German study). “I think any link between eating buffalo wings—even by pregnant women—and the size of their son’s genitals is very tenuous,” says Swan.

Relax, chicken wing fans. Your penis is safe.

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • John Pieret

    The next question is: does not eating chicken wings lead to smaller brains?

  • oranje

    I wish they wouldn’t use rather crude gender identity methods like that. The last thing we need in the world is more people thinking they need to buy Corvettes.

    /snark on the latter part, of course

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    “Relax, chicken wing fans. Your penis is safe.”

    But what happens to your wings if you eat penis? I’m just asking. For a friend.

  • Akira MacKenzie

    No, no, no! Ed. You should have ended it with “Your cocks are safe.”

  • eric

    Even if PETA were right, this would be an argument for pregnant women and possibly very young children not to eat chicken. Its irrelevant to anyone else.

    Is there a fallacy for this? A more obvious example of the fallacious reasoning they’re using would be: drinking alcohol while pregnant can endanger the foetus. Therefore nobody should drink alcohol.”

  • eric

    You should have ended it with “Your cocks are safe.”

    Thread winner thread winner, chicken dinner. :)

  • Abby Normal

    Does PETA not think that people are animals? How are these lies are consistent with their mission? Why don’t bipedal mammals deserve ethical treatment?

  • http://www.gregory-gadow.net Gregory in Seattle

    They condemn eating buffalo wings, but remain silent about North America’s once vast herd of winged buffalo, rendered flightless because of human gluttony.

    PETA has lost all the respect I’ve ever had for them.

  • UnknownEric the Apostate

    Oh man, I’m from Buffalo. We Buffalonians have an unfortunate tendency to overreact to anything that even vaguely puts down our city (severe inferiority complex). PETA might want to watch out around Western New York from now on. 😉

  • Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    It is true that, according to the Study for Future Families’ research, boys born to moms with the highest levels of phthalate exposure (defined as those in the top 25th percentile) were more likely to have shorter penises than those born to moms with the lowest levels of phthalate exposure (those in the bottom 25th percentile)…

    I’m assuming their failure to put any kind of numbers to this anywhere is telling.

  • Synfandel

    eric:

    Is there a fallacy for this?

    It’s already phallusy enough.

  • gshelley

    Is this newborn penis size, or size when adult? Don’t eat chicken wings or your baby’s penis might be slightly smaller than that of other babies does not sound like a stellar argument

  • skemono

    The latest scientific evidence shows that the sons of pregnant women who consume chicken are more likely to have smaller penises because of a chemical found in the birds’ flesh. And it’s not just boys who are at risk from chicken.

    It shrinks girls’ penises too!?

  • thascius

    @12-it’s newborns. Which may or may not have any correlation to adult penis size. Avicenna did a write-up on his blog “A Million Gods” a couple of days ago.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=730511544 billdaniels

    First of all, given the size of a newborn boy’s penis, we are talking about a varience measured in millimeters.

    Second, does penis size at birth indicate penis size as adults. I’m sure mine has grown a little since I was born.

  • Doug Little

    But what happens to your wings if you eat penis? I’m just asking. For a friend.

    So Redbull is liquefied penises because apparently it gives you wings.

  • congenital cynic

    Sheesh. Baby penises are so small, and they have foreskins (till the knife comes out, anyway), which makes getting an accurate measurement that was repeatable to within plus or minus a couple or three mm in length would seem to be nearly impossible. The front end of the penis is easy enough to find (though a floppy bit of skin introduces error in that determination), but how does one determine the location of the end that sits inside of the body. It all sounds suspect to me.

    Not to mention that measuring anything on a baby is rather dodgy, given the squirming that goes on. I’ve got four kids and watching the nurses measure the length of the newborns was funny. They just couldn’t get the little squirmers to hold still. Thus making the length measure a rather inaccurate one, and that was for body length.

    Whatever, I like thighs better. On the chicken too.

  • congenital cynic

    Ouch. Malformed opening sentence. Busy day and head is still reeling.

  • http://aceofsevens.wordpress.com Ace of Sevens

    spices are actually at the top of the list, according to one German study

    Wings are also spicy, so they are doubly dangerous.

  • Abdul Alhazred

    Is there a fallacy for this?

    Agumentam ad making shit up.

  • borax

    I just can’t get the image of some poor researcher going around with calipers measuring baby penises out of my mind.

  • timberwoof

    Time for a gay vocabulary lesson.

    Size Queen. n. someone who insists that their male sexual partner is well endowed. “Some members of PETA are size queens.”

  • dingojack

    Because worrying about the size of human penises is just so much a vital part of campaigning for the ethical treatment of (some, that we like and can anthropomorphise*) animals..

    Have they become Penis Enlargement Treatment Activists?

    Dingo

    ——–

    * When is PETA gonna have rally to support the ethical treatment of Cockroaches, Fleas, Deathwatch Beetles, Flies, Ants and etc.? Aren’t they animals too? (Not to mention humans, another animal).

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    billdaniels “I’m sure mine has grown a little since I was born.”

    Braggart.

  • anubisprime

    PETA: Small Brains Lead to…errr!…. Small Brains !

    Or…

    When you have to lie so ridiculously…you have already lost the argument!

  • caseloweraz

    Dingojack: Have they become Penis Enlargement Treatment Activists?

    Maybe just People for an Egregious Trend in Argument.

  • http://polrant@blogspot.com democommie

    My penis is constantly growing and shrinking, it’s usually growing when I have to get up and go the blackboard.

    I don’t want to be penis guager but I would be willing to perform unbiased lab services on the chicken wings–an order of Grilled Italian or Garlic Parm to start.