Bresciani: God Will Punish Us Soon

Wingnut preacher Michael Bresciani writes a lot of really dumb things in the Christian Post. His latest diatribe is about the “three stages of prophecy,” a process that God supposedly puts nations through before judging them and destroying them. Of course, America is on the verge of feeling God’s wrath, but isn’t it always?

What we know is that America has not been listening to the messages of warnings from her best voices. What we should know is that God is not so hard of hearing.

God hears the cries of the nearly sixty million slaughtered unborn human beings who were discarded like so much useless refuse. He hears the cries of those distraught with the breaking down of foundational principles like marriage between one man and one woman. He hears the outcry against the full acceptance and coddling of perversions and porn.

He has done today, what he did in the ancient times, he has measured out a three pronged appeal over a sufficient amount of time (a generation) and he is now entering into stage three. When the three appeals are finished, all that is left is judgment or a chance for us to repent and set the record straight once again. It is the last gas on this road before our little journey comes to an inglorious ending.

“My imaginary friend is getting angry. And you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry. He’s gonna get all up in your ass any day now.” How terribly compelling.

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  • Doug Little

    Hey he already fired a shot but his aim as always has been terrible. Malaysia is feeling the effects of gods wrath on America.

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    Of course if you believe the Noah Nonsense, you presumably think that this god chap must have not been bothered by hearing the cries of a hell of a lot of slaughtered unborn human beings while he was drowning them inside their mums. So what’s different now?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001345954729 Gwynnyd

    Considering that god has apparently not bothered to respond to the (certainly more than 60 million) real live people who beg him for help on a daily basis, this is supposed to worry me exactly how?

  • Sastra

    He has done today, what he did in the ancient times, he has measured out a three pronged appeal over a sufficient amount of time (a generation) and he is now entering into stage three.

    Bresciani you dolt those weren’t “ancient times,” they were your childhood — and it wasn’t “God,” it was DAD.

    “All right now, that does it, I’m taking off my belt. If you’re not done and ready by the time I count to three then you’re getting a whuppin’! One ………………TWO ……….!”

  • Sastra

    “……Two and a half ….. two and three-quarters….”

  • http://www.clanfield.net janiceintoronto

    Do you suppose you could move that border wall from Mexico to Canada?

    I’d feel a lot safer up here.

  • shouldbeworking

    Yeah, that might be a good idea. Once the smiting begins, there’ll be a lot of iamericans trying to cross into Canada illegally.

  • tbp1

    And how does he reconcile this with God’s supposed omniscience? God allegedly knows infallibly whether or not people will repent and turn to him, so why wait to see? This problem crops up with the story of Abraham and Isaac, or Job, or the occasions when God asks seemingly non-rhetorical questions.

    I’m hardly a Biblical scholar, but I suspect the writers of the earlier Biblical books did not think of God as all-knowing or all-powerful—very knowing and very powerful, to be sure, but not omni—. It explains any number of Biblical quandaries. Nobody has ever managed to harmonize that “chariots of iron” thing with the idea of an all-powerful deity, just to name one more.

    On a related note, yesterday I heard some people on one of the religious radio stations trying to explain how God’s omniscience doesn’t invalidate the concept of free will or mean that our fate is predestined. It was pretty amusing.

  • matty1

    Where does this three pronged appeal thing come from, is it actually in the Bible or did he make it up?

  • dugglebogey

    Has any preacher ever said “God thinks we’re doing the right thing, and he told me to tell you to stay the course and everything will be fine?”

    I guess mankind has just never been able to do right ever since that apple thing….

  • dmcclean

    Excellent point, richardelguru @2.

  • dingojack

    Yeah, we’ve got a thee-prong fork too. It’s called the Lemon test. Take that god!

    :) Dingo

  • busterggi

    Three prongs? I though it was the bad god who used a pitchfork.

  • http://thebronzeblog.wordpress.com/ Bronze Dog

    As always, the idea of these punishing disasters conflicts with any sort of sane morality, punishing the innocent along with the guilty or it conflicts with god’s supposed omnipotence if he’s incapable of anything other than actions analogous to carpet bombing.

    The disturbing thing is that I often see a similar mentality in people who perform massacres: Indiscriminate killings based on notions of collective guilt. Combine that with an obliviousness that doesn’t consider that a “moral message” from someone who doesn’t evidently care about guilt or innocence would likely be disregarded as a rationalization for indulging in bloodlust.

  • Subtract Hominem, a product of Nauseam

    There is no way I can be the only one who read that as “the Three Stooges of prophecy.”

  • jefferylanam

    dugglebogey@10, only when a country has gone to war with someone the preacher hates.

    What did the Philippines do to deserve such a smiting?

  • Abdul Alhazred

    So when the USA destroys itself, the Gaseous Vertebrate gets the blame.

    Instead of the politicians, see? :)

  • lordshipmayhem

    My response is always, “We’ve worshipped over 4,000 named gods – please specify which one? Thor? Shiva? Isis?

  • http://florilegia.wordpress.com Ibis3, Let’s burn some bridges

    Meanwhile, up here in Canada we’ve had abortion on demand funded by the government for more than two decades, marriage equality nationwide since 2005, and “coddling” of various perversions for a very long time (e.g. repeal of sodomy law in 1969). In return, God has seen fit to smite us with Stephen Harper and Rob Ford.

  • John Pieret

    When the three appeals are finished, all that is left is judgment or a chance for us to repent and set the record straight once again.

    Translation: If you live in a trailor park in tornado alley, you’d better move.

  • Wylann

    Ibis@19: See, it’s all Canada’s fault!! They did all that knowing god had such bad aim, that they’d be safe…

    Bastards…. =P

  • caseloweraz

    Matty1: Where does this three pronged appeal thing come from, is it actually in the Bible or did he make it up?

    It must be that Trinity thing. In any case of smite-worthy sin, God in its triune essence issues three warnings. Once all three have been ignored, there is a chance for appeal on which the Trinity votes. If the vote is not unanimous (and it seldom is), the process begins again.