Rick Joyner and the False Prophet

Right Wing Watch reports that Christian right fraud Rick Joyner has been doing shows promoting his friend Bob Jones (not the same one from Bob Jones University), who is, he tells us, a powerful prophet of God. RWW reprints an excerpt from an interview that was published in a recent book by John McArthur between Jones and Mike Bickle, another self-declared “prophet.”

Mike Bickle: “Tell them about the error in your life; the measure of error that you have and the measure of accuracy, ’cause I want people to understand a little bit about that?”

Bob Jones: “Well, I’ve had a lot of measure of error in my life. I remember once that I got into pride. Every time I get into pride, boy, Papa [God] sure knows how to pop my bubble. And I got into pride and called a church into a three-day fast and told them that certain things was going to happen, and they went into a three-day fast. It was terrible. And after that three-day fast—it was terrible, and the Spirit didn’t even show up that night ….”

Mike Bickle: “You called people to a fast?”

Bob Jones: “I sure did, and it wasn’t of the Lord; it was of my pride. I thought you could force the Lord to do something through fasting—boy, I found out real quick you couldn’t. So there’s a bunch of old saints that was ready to stone me, and so I was ready to get out of there and I went home like any good prophet, and I resigned. And I bawled and I squalled and I finally went to sleep and when I went to sleep the Lord come and took hold of my hand. And [in my vision] I was about like this little girl right here … only I was in a lot worse shape because I had a Pamper [diaper] on and I had really messed it good. It was running down both of my legs. And the Lord had a hold of my hand and I was a bawlin’ and a squallin’. . . . And I heard a voice sort of speak, puzzled I can say, ‘What happened to Bob?’ And my [heavenly] counselor spoke up and said, ‘He had an accident.”

Mike Bickle: “Spoke some wrong words.”

Bob Jones: “‘Yeah. He had an accident. He messed his Pamper real bad: And I think, ‘Oh boy, here it comes.’ And then I really got a surprise. A gentle, tender voice said, That boy needs more insurance. Let him know we’ve got him covered from them accidents. Give him a higher insurance policy.’ That wasn’t what I was looking for because I just resigned. ‘Clean him up—tell him to go back into the body and prophesy twice as much. This time, he’ll do what I’ll tell him to: The next thing I knew I was back in bed, and boy, I come awake and man, I mean sweat was rolling down.” …

Mike Bickle: “So there has been errors; there’s been a number of errors.”

Bob Jones: “Oh, hundreds of them.”

The Bible, of course, says that if someone declares themselves to be a prophet and their prophecies turn out to be false they should be stoned to death. But then there’s this, also from McArthur’s book:

Fewer than three years after that interview, Bob Jones was temporarily removed from public ministry by the Metro Vineyard Fellowship of Kansas City in Olathe, Kansas, whose senior pastor was none other than Mike Bickle. It had come to light that Jones was using false “prophecies” as a means of gaining trust from women whom he then abused sexually. “The sins for which [he was] removed from ministry include[d] using his gifts to manipulate people for his personal desires, sexual misconduct, rebelling against pastoral authority, slandering leaders and the promotion of bitterness within the body of Christ.” He nevertheless returned to the charismatic limelight after a short hiatus, and as of this writing, he is still speaking in charismatic churches, presenting himself as an anointed prophet of God, and making prophecies that are demonstrably false and often patently ridiculous.’ Thousands of gullible charismatics still hang on his every word—as if all the scandal and false prophesying never happened. The fact that Jones’s online biography compares his ministry to that of the prophet Daniel only heightens the blasphemous nature of the whole fiasco.

Con men gotta con. Grifters gotta grift. It’s what they do.

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  • reasonbe

    Sweating and bawlin’ and squalin’ and shitting in his diaper and people believe this man? The Vineyard places are pools of distilled ignorance. So tired of reading about these bozos.

  • raven

    that Christian right fraud Rick Joyner …

    QFT.

    The New Apostles are self appointed apostles of god with magic superpowers. None of which are visible.

    Except the Power of Scamming and Fraud!!!

    This is the only superpower that has survived biblical times. There is money to be made in scamming the gullible fundies, but there are so many “leaders” doing it that the loot intake must be meager for a lot of them.

  • raven

    It had come to light that Jones was using false “prophecies” as a means of gaining trust from women whom he then abused sexually. “The sins for which [he was] removed from ministry include[d] using his gifts to manipulate people for his personal desires, sexual misconduct, rebelling against pastoral authority, slandering leaders and the promotion of bitterness within the body of Christ.”

    We have all noticed that prophets of god and founders of religions are frequently….Monsters!!!

    Bob Jones is a small time monster.

    Reverend Sun Myung Moon, Elron Hubbard, Joseph Smith, the Crouches, Robinson, Falwell, Dobson, Sarah Palin, Hagee, Parsley, the New Apostles, Franklin Graham, it goes on and on.

    The list of those who aren’t monsters would be a lot shorter.

  • matty1

    Well I can almost believe that if there was a God and this guy met him, he would indeed shit himself.

  • Trebuchet

    From now on, whenever I see “prophecy”, I’m going to think “poop”.

  • Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    presenting himself as an anointed prophet of God

    Yeah, b/c saying, “I’m really greasy, dictatorial, and megalomaniacal has always been such a winning combination.

  • matty1

    Good point @6, from now on I am replacing the word annointed with the accurate “smeared in grease” whenever I encounter it.

  • Sastra

    “‘Yeah. He had an accident. He messed his Pamper real bad: And I think, ‘Oh boy, here it comes.’ And then I really got a surprise.”

    What a powerful metaphor.

    No, really. I mean it. Right here you have it: the inner narrative, the intuitive plausibility behind the idea that sinners are dirty and deserve to be punished but are, instead, surprised to be washed “clean.”

    I’ve actually used this image myself as a mental and emotional model for the Atonement when trying to explain (to myself and others) why ordinary people seem to think it makes familiar sense. Nice for Joyner to back me up.

  • karmacat

    Sounds like someone has not made it past the anal stage of development..

  • mobius

    I love how Christians react to the story of Jonah. He prophesied that the city of Nineveh would be destroyed by God. The city was not destroyed. And Christians consider that this was a successful prophecy.

  • jnorris

    Mr Jones, you have to have a Never Ending Bowl of Spaghetti before you can be a True Prophet of God!

  • noe1951

    #11 – very true – but she’s still confused. If that women really has a Never Ending Bowl of Spaghetti, then obviously, her god should be the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

  • Ichthyic