Fischer: God Put Me Here to Detect Truth

Bryan Fischer took his ego out for a walk on a recent show, telling his listeners that God put him on earth specifically to stop Satan from telling lies. “I am the truth detector. I am the truth promoter. My responsibility, I believe, what God has put me on this earth to do is to declare and to defend the truth,” he said.

http://youtu.be/srno2DXmV-I

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About Ed Brayton

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    Well you do need to recognise Truth in order to lie

  • Chiroptera

    “I am the truth detector. I am the truth promoter. My responsibility, I believe, what God has put me on this earth to do is to declare and to defend the truth…”

    “…by locking it away in a dark room camoflaged by a bunch of falsehoods.”

  • Loqi

    The fact that he’s so bad at it is further evidence that his god is incompetent.

  • http://www.gregory-gadow.net Gregory in Seattle

    Ain’t it funny how “God’s Truth” is identical to the bigotry and hate that he wants to be God’s Truth?

  • John Pieret

    I am the truth detector

    I said it the other day: in a way, he’s right. All you have to do is take anything he says and the opposite will, almost certainly, be true.

  • http://conservativenewswire.wordpress.com/ Conservative Newswire

    If you use the word “truth” enough, it’s true! Truly, I know this to be the truth. Truth is the greatest truth there is, but only if you seek the truth. True story.

  • lordshipmayhem

    Frankly, Fischer wouldn’t be able to recognize the truth even if it landed in his lunch.

  • Ellie

    OK, Fischer, I’ll buy that you’re supposed to tell the truth. When are you going to start?

  • gshelley

    Probably worthy of a fisher award

  • Larry

    Well, isn’t that special?

  • shouldbeworking

    He has a nice, short job description.

  • http://www.clanfield.net janiceintoronto

    So does that mean he’s going to start telling the truth now?

    I eagerly await.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    That’s nothing. God put me here to inspect bikinis. And, unlike Fischer, I have the t-shirt to prove my status.

  • hunter

    Well, God certainly blew that one.

  • raven

    Fischer: God Put Me Here to Detect Truth

    Shows his god isn’t very powerful or very smart then.

  • Alverant

    “I am the truth detector. I am the truth promoter. My responsibility, I believe, what God has put me on this earth to do is to declare and to defend the truth…”

    Well he should start doing his job instead of lying all the time.

  • a_ray_in_dilbert_space

    Actually, God put him here to find his ass with both hands and whatever technological aids he could muster. Maybe he will succeed eventually.

  • unbound

    So he gave you one job…ONE JOB. And you can’t even do that correctly…

  • theguy

    The bastard’s business cards should instead say “Father of All Lies”

    If there really was a benevolent god, shouldn’t this sort of stupid be physically painful?

  • D. C. Sessions

    Some people hold the truth so high to avoid running into it.

    Similarly, Fisher has to recognize it to avoid it.

  • peterh

    @ #19:

    Even that would be a lie, since a fairly large chunk of them belongs to Ken Ham.

  • freehand

    I am the truth detector. I am the truth promoter. My responsibility, I believe, what God has put me on this earth to do is to declare and to defend the truth…

    “…that, or I just make shit up. How could I tell?”

    “Did I say that out loud?”

  • bushrat

    I am the truth detector. I am the truth promoter. My responsibility, I believe, what God has put me on this earth to do is to declare and to defend the truth…

    Just what Satan would say…

  • caseloweraz

    Immediately I read this, I muttered to myself, “So Bryan Fischer’s mission is to tell the truth…”

    No sooner had I uttered the mutter than the shade of Mohandas K. Gandhi appeared to me. “I think it would be a good idea,” he said. Then he vanished.

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    Fischer : god-put me here to detect truth

    Well, he sure picked the wrong guy for *that* job then didn’t he?!

    ***

    “Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.”

    - Sir Winston Churchill


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