Keyes: Jesus Can Get Obama Impeached

Alan Keyes is mighty upset that the man who beat him like a drum in 2004 when he carpetbagged into Illinois to run against him for a Senate seat (after previously saying that Hillary Clinton doing the same in New York was the “destruction of federalism”) is still in office. But don’t you worry — Jesus can help get him impeached.

But many Americans are still adamantly unwilling to choke down the prospect of life under a vicious, dictatorial regime. Their eyes see past the populist disguise of socialist gangsterism. Some have (I think prematurely) concluded that America’s liberty is irretrievable defunct. But even they have by no means surrendered their allegiance to it.

Others, particularly those who believe in Jesus Christ’s permanent resurrection of hope, look unflinchingly into the abyss, sure that if they remember and trust in God’s law of love and mercy, He has the power to restore their nation to the better path of human destiny. It is especially (though not exclusively) among such people that the movement to impeach and remove Obama and his cronies from office arises.

Well gee Alan, how many people in this country have been praying for that to happen since the moment Obama took office? A few million at the very least. I’m sure they also prayed that he wouldn’t win reelection in 2012. Yet he did. And he remains in office. So where’s Jesus been all this time? Is a few million people praying for it not enough? How many will it take? Did they all forget to say the magic words? And when this doesn’t happen at all even now, what will your excuse be? Will you doubt your previous statement that Jesus could change it all if he wanted to? Or conclude that he didn’t want to? Or that your friend really is imaginary? Of course not. You’ll just go on to spout the same nonsense again.

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  • hunter

    The irony is that the policies and practices of the Obama administration that are most threatening to the basic rights of Americans — universal surveillance, NSA data mining, TPP (the corporatists’ wet dream) — are all things the “conservatives” favor.

    And that Jesus most likely would condemn.

  • Randomfactor

    It’s like in Horton Hears a Who. They just need ONE MORE little kid for the prayers to break through.

  • http://www.gregory-gadow.net Gregory in Seattle

    Really, Mr. Keyes? I wasn’t aware that Jesus was a member of either the US House of Representatives or the US Senate, much less eligible to get elected (being a non-naturalized foreigner and dead and all.) Or did you “strict constitutionalists” change the Constitution while no one was looking?

  • John Pieret

    Of course not. You’ll just go on to spout the same nonsense again.

    Well, that’s a common enough trait of human beings. The really sad part is how many people will go on listening to him after he is proven wrong for the umpteenth time.

  • dugglebogey

    I’ve always been fascinated by the fact that one president leads his country into war under completely falsified evidence, yet the one who wants poor people to have health care is a “vicious dictatorial regime.”

    What. The. Fuck.

  • alanb

    So where’s Jesus been all this time? Is a few million people praying for it not enough? How many will it take? Did they all forget to say the magic words?

    You sound like that philosophy professor who said there was no God until Jack Chick showed how wrong he was. You’ll be sorry when an ex-Marine comes here to show how to drop a piece of chalk without it breaking.

  • dingojack

    Psst Alan – “irretrievable defunct” – Jesus told me he loves adverbs. Why don’t you?

    Dingo

  • dingojack

    Sorry – Alan Keyes, not alanb. Just to clear up any confusion.

    Dingo

  • colnago80

    Re the chihuahua @ #8

    The chihuahua was born confused.

  • Michael Heath

    Ed writes:

    Well gee Alan, how many people in this country have been praying for that to happen since the moment Obama took office? A few million at the very least.

    Given the number of conservative Christians I know in meat-world who pray President Obama will be assassinated and typify the behavior that enables and empowers Inhofe, King, Perry, Bachmann, and Palin, I’d say at least tens of millions pray for him to be impeached.

    There was a conservative viral email going around attached a YouTube video falsely claiming that the president was a Muslim and member of al Qaeda intent on destroying the U.S. Last I saw it that video alone had nine million views. I’m not certain this is the same video, where this one has over 10 million views now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCAffMSWSzY.

  • cottonnero

    If what Palin does is word salad, Keyes produces word casserole.

  • John Hinkle

    Woa, Ed. Your last graf was filled with A LOT OF provocative questions. I hope you’re not trying to blaspheme. Are you? Because watch out, Keyes is going to imprecatory prayer your ass too.

  • felidae

    Jesus hates socialism–just look at the Beatitudes and the parable of the vineyard and see all the references to the rightness of the current conservative agenda

  • bruceheerssen

    I know how many prayers it would have taken to defeat Obama in 2012: 51% of the voting population.

  • bahrfeldt

    The Lord, being omnipotent and all knowing of everything, past, present and future, could have easily prevented the Obamanation by having the most favoured Mr. Keyes win the mentioned Senatorial election. If the Lord wanted to. But the Lord did not. Amen.

  • Darkling

    Since when has Jesus been a White House intern?

  • Konradius

    Well, the title ‘Jesus Can Get Obama Impeached’ is actually quite true.

    If you convert the bible role playing game to standard D&D Jesus is at least 20th level, possibly 30.

    Impeaching a president should not be that hard a task given that Jesus is able to cast 9th level spells. (killing is a lot easier though)

    Now some people claimed that such an act would be out of character, maybe even triggering an alignment change. But any loss of power only triggers after actually doing the deed, so even if Jesus class was paladin he still has the ability.

    Now the other stuff AK claims is really nonsense.