Cue the Right Wing Xenophobia

One of the commercials shown during the Super Bowl was by Coke and it featured a bunch of children singing America the Beautiful in their native language rather than in English. Predictably, the right wing is clutching their pearls and flipping their lids over it. Breitbart, you’re up:

Executives at Coca Cola thought it was a good idea to run a 60 second Super Bowl ad featuring children singing “America the Beautiful” – a deeply Christian patriotic anthem whose theme is unity – in several foreign languages. The ad also prominently features a gay couple.

OMG! Gay people! And furriners! Sadie, get my rifle! And such delicious irony. The woman who wrote the poem America the Beautiful, Katherine Lee Bates? She was gay. And the melody that was used to set that poem to music? It was originally the school song for the University of Shanghai. And Bates was a liberal English professor from Wellesley, that bastion of feminism. “Deeply Christian” indeed.

Conservatives instantly lit up social media with objections, with many vowing to boycott the soda company’s products.

“If we cannot be proud enough as a country to sing ‘American the Beautiful’ in English in a commercial during the Super Bowl, by a company as American as they come — doggone we are on the road to perdition,” said former GOP Rep. Allen West.

Oh, doggone it. Golly gee whiz, you betcha. Fucking morons.

As far as the executives at Coca Cola are concerned, however, the United States of America is no longer a nation ruled by the Constitution and American traditions in which English is the language of government. It is not a nation governed in the Anglo-American tradition of liberty. It is instead a nation governed by some all inclusive multi-cultural synthesis of the various forms of government in the world, as expressed by the multiple languages used in the Super Bowl ad to sing a uniquely American hymn that celebrates our heritage.

Yeah, a heritage that is built almost entirely on immigration. Jesus, I’m sick of these people. A wingnut group on Facebook immediately released this monument to ignorance and bigotry:

cokeresponse

I swear, these people seem impossible to parody. Suddenly this doesn’t seem satirical at all:

Now, if you want a real critique of that Coke commercial, here’s what bothers me about it. It’s the same thing that bothered me about the Bud Light commercial featuring the soldier returning from war. They’re using patriotism to sell products. They’re basically saying “America — brought to you by Coke” and “Freedom, sponsored by Bud Light.” That’s why the commercial sucked, not because it had — GASP! — furriners in it.

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  • Reginald Selkirk

    In case the Coke ad wasn’t inclusive enough for you:

    Re-edited version with Klingon, dolphin, etc.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    (The translation into dolphin is not very good.)

  • jeevmon

    And a family with two dads and their daughter engaging in the filthy depraved act of roller-skating. Shoving their normalness down our throats.

  • Nihilismus

    The ad also prominently features a gay couple.

    Hmmm. I figured by prominently, they meant that it was featured at all, but after watching it again, the ad does seem to show several consecutive shots of the gay couple for longer than for any of the other people. So Coke probably was trying to make sure people noticed. Good for them.

  • http://www.gregory-gadow.net Gregory in Seattle

    My issue is with the claim that the ad “prominently features a gay couple.” Umm… you only know it was a gay couple because of a hug seen for about one second. You don’t see it unless you are actively looking for it, and it got less camera time than just about anything else in the video. But, of course, the people who protest way too much feel that ANY indication that gay people even exist is outrageous promotion.

  • Chiroptera

    Sometimes I want to ask the right wing: “Don’t you want to be taken seriously?”

  • Sunday Afternoon

    You have to admit that the ad worked – it has people talking about it for several days afterwards. Brand awareness is increased, and in a couple of weeks once everyone has forgotten about the controversy, the brand will have benefited from the increased or maintained (this is Coke after all) awareness.

  • John Pieret

    a deeply Christian patriotic anthem whose theme is unity – in several foreign languages

    Yeah, the damned huddled masses yearning to breathe free and wretched refuse of your teeming shore!

  • laurentweppe

    You know, that’s funny: every time a wingnut shout “Patriotism”, I can’t help but picture the tower scene from Game of Throne.

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    a heritage that is built almost entirely on immigration

    Didn’t you mean “genocidal colonialism”? ‘Cuz that is kinda biblical.

  • Menyambal — making sambal a food group.

    Crown thy good with brotherhood?

  • Chiroptera

    Or maybe I should just ask the right wing: “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  • eric

    They’re basically saying “America — brought to you by Coke” and “Freedom, sponsored by Bud Light.”

    I think you’re being a bit curmudgeonly about this. I don’t think anyone is interpreting the commercial as coke taking credit for America or freedom, or trying to say “if you’re a real American, you ought to drink our product.” They’re saying they are part of American life. The message is: “Coke – as American as this song.” Which, given their massive sales numbers and the quantities of it the average American drinks, is reasonably true.

  • dingojack
  • jnorris

    May I please ask the patriotic Christians to not order Coke when they go to Chick-Fil-A.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Shame on Coca Cola for dividing America by showing America that America is made up of a tapestry of people from many nations!

    You Liberals don’t understand America. America, you see, is a melting pot, where wave of immigrants (like mine, who built this country) come here abandon everything about their old country, including their history and traditions, and become American by forgetting their weird foreign language and learning to speak English rightly, and they’re only truly American when they’ve learned to hate and fear the waves of immigrants that are ruining Our Great Nation.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    RE jnorris #15: You knew ths was coming:

    Petition: Tell Coke to pull its products from Chick-Fil-A

  • dugglebogey

    Goddamnit! America’s greatness is not based on hating things that are different and excluding people!

    Stop being proud of your ignorance of other cultures and inability to learn other languages. That DOES NOT make you superior, and what fool thinks it does?

    Being proud of being an American does NOT mean that you hate everything else! You fucking morons!

  • cptdoom

    a deeply Christian patriotic anthem whose theme is unity

    Well, at least they’re being consistent. The song mentions “God” exactly once, and as we know to the fundies, any mention of “God,” in any context, immediately means the author was a rightwing fundamentalist. It’s just like the Constitution or the Declaration of Independence. And Coke was clearly wrong to illustrate a song about unity with representations of the many who make up the whole. It’s like they understood the song or something.

  • pocketnerd

    Ahh. yes the wingnuts demand “Anglo-American” government and rail against “multi-cultural synthesis,” but they’re totally not racist. In fact, you’re the real racist for bringing it up.

  • pocketnerd

    Thus spake ZaraChiroptera, #6:

    Sometimes I want to ask the right wing: “Don’t you want to be taken seriously?”

    Sure they do — but the hand-wringing and pearl-clutching over this isn’t aimed at you and me. It’s intended to reinforce the siege mentality among the useful idiots, and scare them to the voting booths so they can pull the “R” lever and thereby protect their country from the insidious threat of Multicultural Islamic New York Big Gay Government Job-Killing Regulations Sharia Liberal Hollywood Values Homofascist Nanny State Terrism.

  • garnetstar

    I read that one of the furrin languages used in the commerical was a Native American one.

    Enough said.

  • http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

    Chik-Fil-A serves Coke products: I foresee some heads exploding when faced with this choice.

    It truly is hard when you’re a hate-filled fundamentalist and you’re trying to boycott all the companies that aren’t in bed with Jesus. In a completely chaste and Christian way, of course.

  • marcus

    There are plenty of reasons to hate Coke, selling dyed, caffeinated, sugar (sorry, high-fructose corn syrup) water is only one of them, being mufti-cultural is not on the list.

  • howardhershey

    Not all immigration to the U.S. was done by choice, especially during the time of the Christian Founders of this great nation. And the cross-Atlantic conditions of passage of those immigrants was somewhat worse than even the worst steerage on the Mayflower.

  • Richard Smith

    They’re basically saying “America — brought to you by Coke” and “Freedom, sponsored by Bud Light.”

    At least that’s only implied, as opposed to all those outright grandiose claims on PBS, like “Planet Earth was brought to you by…” or “Nature was made possible by a grant from…”.

  • http://tonythompsonjr%40facebook.com Tony! The Fucking Queer Shoop!

    Ed:

    Now, if you want a real critique of that Coke commercial, here’s what bothers me about it. It’s the same thing that bothered me about the Bud Light commercial featuring the soldier returning from war. They’re using patriotism to sell products. They’re basically saying “America — brought to you by Coke” and “Freedom, sponsored by Bud Light.” That’s why the commercial sucked, not because it had — GASP! — furriners in it.

    I had to work Super Bowl Sunday, so I did not get to see much of the game (small loss, as I don’t care for sports at all, but I do like to watch the commercials). Is the game usually swimming in so much pseudo-patriotism?

  • coffeehound

    @ 16,

    …..forgetting their weird foreign language and learning to speak English rightly

    Except the whole they’re/their/there thing. It’s in their redneck creed or something…

  • coffeehound

    Whoops. “It’s in they’re redneck creed or something” Fixed it.

  • Taz

    “If we cannot be proud enough as a country to sing ‘American the Beautiful’ in English in a commercial during the Super Bowl, by a company as American as they come — doggone we are on the road to perdition,” said former GOP Rep. Allen West.

    I defy anyone to write anything in regard to this story that’s half as hilarious as this. SNL, the Daily Show, National Lampoon at their best couldn’t come up with anything as good as this.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Richard Smith “At least that’s only implied, as opposed to all those outright grandiose claims on PBS, like “Planet Earth was brought to you by…” or “Nature was made possible by a grant from…”.”

    I don’t have an internet to give you, so I hope this bucket of win will do.

  • senor

    Well at least we had a bunch of NFL players and execs read the Constitution before the game…for some reason…

    I wonder how many other veterans’ felt after seeing one random solider get a whole parade and Super Bowl tickets for a beer promotion.

  • vargostatten
  • conway

    Goldang it, Coke! What happened to you? You used to be All-American! Like Frankfurters and Hamburgers and Pizza and Budweiser!

  • eric

    become American by forgetting their weird foreign language and learning to speak English rightly,

    Reminds me of a story a few years back, where some GOP politician was railing against madrasas and insisting that all Americans ought to go through traditional American education institutes…like kindergarten. My forehead still has the palm print.

    *****

    In any event, just because it’s fun:

    become – etymological origin is germanic

    American – etymological origin is latin

    forgetting – etymological origin is old english

    wierd – old english

    foreign – latin to french to english

    language – latin to french to english

    learn – germanic

    speak – old english

    English – unclear, could be germanic or old english first

    right – germanic.

    So…that sentence fragment is 30%-40% original English, and 60-70% foreign import. :)

  • peterh

    “…forgetting their weird foreign language and learning to speak English rightly correctly.

    Fixed it for you.

  • cjcolucci

    This sort of nonsense makes me want to respond by pouring Coke over my morning Cheerios.

  • Michael Heath

    Consider the level of racism required to get outraged by this ad. I’d say that level exceeds the point where we can confidently assert these outraged individuals are evil.

  • kangxi

    Coke – can’t stand the filthy stuff. Pepsi neither (and no: I can’t tell the difference).

    I’m surprised that the tirade included this ” It is not a nation governed in the Anglo-American tradition of liberty.” They acknowledge the Anglo influence? Isn’t that an UnAmerican claim in itself?

    And Garnetstar: many many thanks for the delicious information that one of the languages was Native American. Irony meters all over the universe simultaneously exploded in an orgasm of delight.

  • diesel213

    I’ve actually always been more of a Pepsi guy myself, but I thought the ad was pretty awesome. Made me want to switch just to support them more.

  • Thumper: Token Breeder

    @conway

    Goldang it, Coke! What happened to you? You used to be All-American! Like Frankfurters[1] and Hamburgers[2] and Pizza[3] and Budweiser!

    1- German

    2- German (invented in the USA by German immigrants in imitation of the Hamburg steak)

    3- Italian

    I love dissassembling racist talking-points :)

    (conway; I know you’re doing satire, I’m not accusing you of racism)

  • Thumper: Token Breeder

    *2 isn’t strictly correct; it’s not an imitation of a Hamburg steak, that makes it sound like they got it wrong. It’s just that one day someone had the bright idea of putting a Hamburg steak in a sandwich, and it developed from there.

  • http://polrant@blogspot.com democommie

    @2:

    Okay, so, if you listen to it sdrowkcab, the dolphinese is “Charley Tuna is dead, Charley Tuna is dead.”.