Dave Agema Hates Gays to Protect America

Dave Agema, one of the Michigan’s two representatives on the Republican National Committee and a man who would need a promotion to get to be an idiot, says that he only hates gay people and works every day to violate their equal rights in order to protect America.

Agema insisted that his anti-gay stance has nothing to do with animus towards gay people, he just believes that gay rights will doom America.

The former Michigan state legislator said on The Renegade River Show that gay rights weaken the family “and when you start destroying the family unit in a nation, the nation starts to crumble from within.”

“Look at the Greek empire, look at the Roman empire,” Agema continued. “Basically, I am trying to protect America.”

He also maintained that schools are “teaching the homosexual lifestyle, how to be a homosexual in some sort of class that they’re teaching that we’re paying for,” and argued that gay marriage had major repercussions in Denmark, Netherlands and Switzerland (a country that has not legalized gay marriage).

“I don’t hate gay people, I just think they’re trying to destroy America like they destroyed every other civilization.” Totally credible, Dave.

About Ed Brayton

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

  • http://tonythompsonjr%40facebook.com Tony! The Fucking Queer Shoop!

    I got shafted!

    When I came out of the closet, all I got was a lousy toaster oven.

    I want the power to destroy countries!

  • Jordan Genso

    Agema provided the Republican Party with an opportunity to show that they are not the ignorant and hateful party they are so often made out to be, simply by the party coming together and telling Agema he is no longer welcome to represent the party. And it’s a positive sign that there have been many notable Republicans to publically take that position, calling for his resignation. But the party as a whole has blown their opportunity, due to the also large number of Republicans who have come to his defense. Instead, those defenders have only provided more evidence of the party’s abhorrent views.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    If The Gays are so dangerous, why aren’t the DoD and CIA hiring them and sending them to the countries of our enemies to destroy them? C’mon, America! Let’s bury Iran’s Muslins under wave after wave of gay homosexuals!

  • John Pieret

    look at the Roman empire

    Yeah, Christianity became the official religion of the Empire and the next thing you know Rome was sacked by the Christian Visigoths.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Both Greek & Roman empires fell due to internal corruption and the well-earned hostility of their neighbors.

    Good thing the US doesn’t have any such problems, right?

  • colnago80

    Re Pierce R. Butler @ #5

    Well, Mexico and Canada, whatever their virtues and they are many, don’t pose much of a military threat.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    colnago80 “Well, Mexico and Canada, whatever their virtues and they are many, don’t pose much of a military threat.”

    Don’t they? Don’t they?!!!

  • http://adventuresinzymology.blogspot.com JJ831

    Look at the Greek empire, look at the Roman empire

    What year did both those empires legalize gay marriage? I just want to know how long we have until the US empire crumbles.

  • matty1

    I think an argument could be made that the Roman Empire did not fall in the way or at the time most people think. What we call the Byzantine Empire was a continuation of the same political entity and that fell because it was conquered by the Turks in 1453. The commonly viewed ‘fall’ was actually the abandonment of the western provinces (which by this point included Rome itself), which had become a drain on financial and military resources.

  • kevinalexander

    He needs to read Gibbon. It was the CHRISTIANS who destroyed Rome. Or, more to the point, allowed it to be destroyed.

    We don’t need to maintain the infrastructure, we don’t need no bridges, we don’t need no roads, we don’t need no aqueducts for clean water, we don’t need no sewers to prevent disease!

    JESUS IS COMING!! TOMORROW!!! We only need to build bigger churches to glorify HIM!!

  • eric

    Let’s bury Iran’s Muslins under wave after wave of gay homosexuals!

    You want them to roll around on Iranian fabrics? Kinky.

  • dhall

    Yes . . . the Romans. Their civilization lasted only around 2000 years. Losers.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/TabbyLavalamp Tabby Lavalamp

    HEY! Don’t be so quick to judge, this guy may be on to something. We got marriage equality here in Canada, then the next thing you know, Zeus punished us with Stephen Harper.

  • Synfandel

    Well, Mexico and Canada, whatever their virtues and they are many, don’t pose much of a military threat.

    Isn’t that one of their virtues?

  • dugglebogey

    How do those “how to be gay” classes go?

    Is it like, how to decorate and cut hair, or is it actual lessons in anal sex and cunnilingus?

  • Nick Gotts

    Look at the Greek empire – Dave Agema

    I bet if you asked him, Agema would be unable to specify when “the Greek empire” was founded, who founded it, how long it lasted, or how it fell, if only because “the Greek empire” is a term unknown to history. The only plausible candidates for the title are the Byzantine Empire – which always called itself Roman, because (as matty1@9 notes), it was indeed a continuation of the Roman Empire, although Greek became the language of government as well as culture; and the Macedonian Empire, founded by Alexander the Great, who was well-known for his homosexual preferences, despite his two state marriages (which caused a lot more controversy at the time, because he married non-Greeks).

    He needs to read Gibbon. It was the CHRISTIANS who destroyed Rome. – kevinalexander@10

    Well I certainly recommend Gibbon – it’s a great read – but there’s really little more reason to blame Christianity for Rome’s fall than gay marriage. For a treatment that comes up to modern standards of historical scholarship, I recommend Peter Heather’s The Fall of the Roman Empire. Heather identifies the increasing economic, military and political sophistication of Rome’s “barbarian” neighbours – itself largely a result of prolonged contact with Rome – as the main factor.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    dugglebogey “Is it like, how to decorate and cut hair, or is it actual lessons in anal sex and cunnilingus?”

    To be fair, there’s already a straight class for those last two. I took it. A bunch of times. Never passed the final, though. It probably didn’t help that I stutter, and half ot the tests were oral. You don’t want to know that the other half of the tests were.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    colnago80 @ # 6: … Mexico and Canada…

    You just wait until the Russians establish a beachhead on Sarah Palin’s porch!

    Nick Gotts @ # 16: … “the Greek empire” is a term unknown to history.

    The Delian League started out with good intentions, but between Athenian greed and the usual consequences of trying to colonize southern Italy, went all to hell even before the Spartans turned out to deliver chastisement. Alexander’s project didn’t last long enough to be called an “empire” – well, maybe he and his buddies did, but I don’t think it met the definition, uh, empirically.

  • sh3baproject

    @16 the delian league ran by athens could be seen as a greek empire if you look at how athens forced leauge members to pay a lot just for their city,but even then athens fell for reasons not including gays. a long and costly war with sparta and a costly invasion of syracuse caused its fall.

  • kevinalexander

    Heather identifies the increasing economic, military and political sophistication of Rome’s “barbarian” neighbours – itself largely a result of prolonged contact with Rome – as the main factor.

    Gibbon himself made the same point. What was it that made the Romans throw away their huge head start? They seem to have just stopped thinking.

    Unscrupulous politicians have always understood the stupefying power of religion but the Christian religion was especially well suited to the purpose.

  • grumpyoldfart

    * A politician tries to save the country.

    * Blames a small group of citizens for all problems.

    * The hoi-poloi says, “Let’s get ’em.”

    * What could go wrong ?

  • lofgren

    I don’t mind taking him at his word. All he’s saying is that he doesn’t hate gay people, he’s just blindly accepted the lies put forth by people who do hate gay people without bothering to check the facts, and has now chosen to dismiss facts in favor of ideology whenever those facts disagree with him. It’s just as plausible that he is a dupe and a tool of people who hate gay people as it is that he hates gay people, and either way he’s a terrible human being. So really, no reason not to accept his explanation.

  • jnorris

    I am reminded that homosexual acts were illegal in the United Kingdom until 1967, well after the empire dissolved. Homosexual acts were a capital crime when the American colonies split. Oh well, history is like science to the Tea Party.

    As for the Greek empire, perhaps Mr Agema was thinking of Alexander the Great’s empire, IIRC, he was the queer who conquered most everything east and south of Greece.

  • jnorris

    I must apologize to Mr Agema, he contended that when The Gheys infest an empire that empire explodes. He did not say that exploding empires were all caused by homosexuality. So, he gives us Athens and Rome as the only two examples. All the other empires, on four continents, over 5000 years of history, died because of something else. I am sure homosexuality didn’t kill all of them. What are the odds then that homosexuality didn’t do in the Romans or the Greeks?

    I still stand by Great Alex and his empire.

  • steve84

    How is just speaking out loud what 99% of all other Republicans think

  • Larry

    Republicans think

    OK, class. Can anyone tell us what’s wrong with these two words?

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @23. jnorris :

    As for the Greek empire, perhaps Mr Agema was thinking of Alexander the Great’s empire, IIRC, he was the queer who conquered most everything east and south of Greece.

    Not quite. He didn’t make it down to Oz or New Zealand / Aotearoa -pretty sure he never even got as far as PNG!

    Still conquering Persia, Greece, Egypt, transoxiana much of central asia and India was pretty impressive it must be said.

    Largest (& I still think the best) empire the world ever saw was the British in the 18th-19th centuries – held Australia, NZ, Egypt, India, much of the wotrld’s oceans, the USA colonies in Africa and nearly everywhere.,

    Next largest in history would be the Mongol empire of Genghis, Ogodei and later Kubilai Khan or maybe the Communist empire of the Stalin-Mao period although that wasn’t that united despite the Iron Curtain with China vs the USSR.

    Mongols fell victim to internal feuding which prevented them conquering all of Russia and Europe adn led to its rapid break up into various Khanates.

    The Communist Empire collapsed economically trying to keep up with the USA and because its ideology was even more bankrupt than its coffers.

    British empire, well gradually fell apart with most colonies becoming independent post WWI.

    Can’t really blame gays for any of those falls of civilisations.

    Main cause of empires collapsing seems to me to be conflict both internal among leaders or would-be leaders or external clashing with rival empires plus economic issues and maybe imperial overreach. Although each case has its own individual causes, triggers and exacerbating factors.

  • lorn

    Is it just me or does Dave appear to be exceedingly well groomed, coiffed, and stylishly dressed, for a straight guy? I mean, a black shirt and tie, with tan jacket and vest no less, no straight guy would go with that combination without prompting.

  • sundoga

    Yeah, let’s look at the Roman Kingdom/Republic/Empire. Lasted over a thousand years (well over, if you count Byzantium), dominant force in Europe and the Mediterranean Basin, destroyed most of it’s major rivals, cultural renaissance, artistic renaissance, the archetype for the modern state and the go-to reference for politics and philosophy post-Greece. I CAN THINK OF WORSE WAYS OF GOING.

  • matty1

    We don’t need to maintain the infrastructure, we don’t need no bridges, we don’t need no roads, we don’t need no aqueducts for clean water, we don’t need no sewers to prevent disease!

    Yes but apart from all that. What have the Romans ever done for us?

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @ ^ matty1 : Brought peace?

  • Nick Gotts

    kevinalexander@20,

    Gibbon himself made the same point.

    Can you give me a chapter reference? I’m not saying you’re wrong, but I can’t find any such point, let alone a developed thesis such as Heather presents.

    What was it that made the Romans throw away their huge head start? –

    They didn’t. The Roman Empire was never particularly innovative technologically, except in areas which made urban life pleasant for the elite, and to some extent militarily. Increasing the productivity of agricuture, or what industry there was, was never an object of sustained effort, probably because of the contempt felt not only for manual labour, but for its managment, in a society where both were largely done by slaves. On this, see Perry Anderson’s Passages from Antiquity to Feudalism. Conversely, they were good at responding to military threats. Heather shows how well the empire responded to the 3rd-century crisis caused by the rise of the Sassanids in Persia. Constantine, who made Christianity the official religion, was the most effective emperor at least since Marcus Aurelius, probably since Augustus. His choice of Byzantium (which he renamed after himself) as co-capital with Rome was brilliant, as the fact that it remained the centre of imperial power for a millennium indicates. Heather remarks that substituting Christianity for paganism was remarkably simple in ideological terms: the emperor was no longer divine, but he was divinely appointed; and it gave the emperor the use of the church’s well-developed administrative apparatus. I think (Heather doesn’t comment on this) that the adoption of Christianity may have been a deliberate response to the Sassanids’ reform of Zoroastrianism, and its use to bind their empire together.

    It may be satisfying to say: “Ha, ha, Christians, Gibbon showed that Christianity was responsible for the fall of Rome”, but really, if you haven’t read anything relevant more recent than Gibbon, you’re not in much of a position to make historical judgments in this area. There has been a vast amount of systematic historical work on it since the late 18th century. There’s also the fact that China as well as Rome underwent internal divisions and “barbarian” invasion during the 3rd-7th centuries. The Chinese failure to maintain their “head start” over their neighbours couldn’t very well be due to adopting Christianity.

  • Matt G

    Whatever makes him happy. Personally, I hate Gays to protect endangered species….

  • kevinalexander

    Nick @32

    I can’t argue with you. You are much more extensively read on the subject.

    I’ll finish with a reminder that there is a reason why Gibbon is on the Vatican index of proscribed books and I’m not the first to point out that much history written since is Christian apologetics.

  • typecaster

    matty1 @ 9:

    What we call the Byzantine Empire was a continuation of the same political entity and that fell because it was conquered by the Turks in 1453.

    This may be picking a nit (although, isn’t that what the internet is for?), but an argument could be made that Byzantium fell in 1204 when Constantinople was sacked during the Fourth Crusade. There were successor states that kept the name, and yes, one of them happened to be in possession of Constantinople when the Turks attacked it in 1453. But that pitiful excuse for a state’s claims to continuity with the Empire of Justinian would prefer not to examined too closely.

    .

    And so far as I can tell, gays had nothing at all to do with either conquest of The City.

  • freehand

    Well, as long as Christians continue to say “Gays, followed by the collapse of Rome”, I will respond with “Christianity, followed more closely by the collapse of Rome”. The Christians who make this silly claim didn’t come to a conclusion by reading history, so it won’t help to speak history at them.

    .

    But I thank you anyway Nick. If it’s any consolation, I learned something (although this time I didn’t have to unlearn anything false).

  • kevinalexander

    I have also heard that what’s wrong with Gibbon starts with the title since Rome didn’t decline and fall at at all!!

    They simply abandoned earthly concerns and embraced the subsequent suffering as god’s gift and rose to a greater spiritual empire

    .

    This has the benefit of being easier to understand and doesn’t require all the hard procrustean work of torturing the historical sources.

  • dingojack

    Gibbon* favoured shelled lobsters (and their ilk)? Who knew?

    😉 Dingo

    ———-

    * I guess he made his bed, so now he’s got to lie in it.

  • http://polrant@blogspot.com democommie

    “Well, Mexico and Canada, whatever their virtues and they are many, don’t pose much of a military threat.”

    You’re forgetting about the 150 divisions of ChiCom soldiers that are hiding around Tijuana, Laredo, Vancouver and Windsor, just waiting for the order to invade.

    “JESUS IS COMING!! TOMORROW!!! We only need to build bigger churches to glorify HIM!!”

    I think JESUS would have wanted more closets–for the prayer, not teh GAYERZ!

    “How do those “how to be gay” classes go?

    Is it like, how to decorate and cut hair, or is it actual lessons in anal sex and cunnilingus?”

    OMFG, I”M GAY!!!