Regnerus: Gays Responsible for Straight People ‘Straying’

Mark Regnerus, the sociologist behind the thoroughly debunked study of gay parenting, gave a talk at Franciscan University in Ohio recently where he claimed that the acceptance of same-sex marriage will give straight men the excuse to cheat on their wives and demand anal sex.

We’re not there just yet but the bridge is being built. If gay marriage is perceived as legitimate by heterosexual women, it will eventually embolden boyfriends everywhere, and not a few husbands, to press for what men have always historically wanted but were rarely allowed: sexual novelty, in the form of permission to stray without jeopardizing their primary relationship. Discussion of openness in sexual partners in straight marriages will become more common, just as the practice of heterosexual anal sex got a big boost from the normalization of gay men’s sexual behavior in both contemporary porn and in the American imagination.

Holy non-sequiturs, Batman.

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  • lordshipmayhem

    the acceptance of same-sex marriage will give straight men the excuse to cheat on their wives

    And apparently it will give the straight men the right to have multiple wives, just like in Biblical times. Bonus!!

    Failing at making marriage eqality sound like a BAD thing.

  • http://freethoughtblogs.com/axp/ Martin Wagner

    Is he saying gays are not monogamous by definition? Where’d he get that from?

  • dhall

    He seems to be saying that straight women who think same-sex marriage is okay are not interested in monogamy either. Maybe he doesn’t know what the big words mean . . .

  • cottonnero

    I see he’s applying the same quality of logic here as he did in his study.

  • jimbo701

    Huh?

  • jamessweet

    There might be a nugget of truth here… in the sense that recognizing a heretofore unconventional relationship might embolden people who seek other types of unconventional relationships to be more forward about it.

    Which seems like an unmitigated positive. Is it better to have a partner who desires an open marriage but keeps quiet about it, and winds up cheating on hir spouse? Or better to have a partner who is very up front about hir preferences regarding monogamy, so that both partners can decide how to handle it with eyes wide open?

    Then again, being a social conservative, Regnerus probably prefers a situation where men cheat on their wives and the wives never find out, to one where partners openly discuss options before marriage in a way that might result in *gasp* incompatible people realizing they are not compatible and not getting married…

  • frankb

    just as the practice of heterosexual anal sex got a big boost from the normalization of gay men’s sexual behavior in both contemporary porn

    Were you there?

    On second thought I think he was there having anal sex. He seems awfully interested in it.

  • jamessweet

    OTOH, the implication (as others have pointed out) seems to be that gays are inherently non-monogamous, which is a slanderous and shitty thing to say. I’m sort of bending over backwards in my comment #6 to come up with an interpretation that isn’t entirely hateful. Maybe I shouldn’t bother…

  • http://www.gregory-gadow.net Gregory in Seattle

    He conveniently ignores the fact that men married to women who are having liaisons with other men was probably forced into that different sex marriage by bigots like him. If you allow gay people to marry someone they want to be physically intimate with, then much of the perceived problem will go away.

  • chilidog99

    I think it is a poor argument to accuse homophobes of being repressed homosexuals. But in this case, the argument may have some merit.

  • http://www.facebook.com/den.wilson d.c.wilson

    to press for what men have always historically wanted but were rarely allowed: sexual novelty, in the form of permission to stray without jeopardizing their primary relationship.

    Historically, men have always had “permission” to stray with little or no consequence to their primary relationship as women were essentailly regarded as property and couldn’t say jack about whether her husband was getting some action on the side. The idea that men are always supposed to take monogamy seriously is a relatively new idea.

  • thinkfree83

    @jamessweet, conservatives usually believe that gays are inherently non-monogamous. They often bring up the Folsom Street Festival as evidence of how profligate gays are, as if that’s representative of anything other than the people who happened to be there at that given time. Statistically speaking, there will be some gay people who are into the Folsom Street festival and others who are not, just like there are some straight people who are more sexually adventurous than others. There are some people, gay and straight, who like anal sex or others who don’t. The fact that Adam and Steve engage in anal sex isn’t going to make Randy more likely to engage in it with his wife Eve, if they don’t particularly care for it in the first place. And why would Randy and Eve care what Adam and Steve are doing in the bedroom in the first place?

  • anubisprime

    Who was the dumbfuck that gave this brain dead cretin a platform…and why.

    Does homophobia stretch into the steering commitees…(rhewtorica

  • anubisprime

    Sorry mouse glitch…(rhetorical question)

    Or are these dead heads just utterly bereft of intelligence themselves.

    How is it possible such discredited fools get such exposure…in ‘normal’ world they are ridiculed and kicked to the curb!

  • Taz

    This will do wonders for his credibility as an unbiased researcher.

  • dingojack

    Gay marriage will cause men to ask for anal sex? Too late. [See table 6 and onward].

    Dingo

  • doublereed

    Wait, is he arguing against sexual novelty? Good luck convincing people of that, lol!

    What I don’t understand how he could possibly construe any of this as a bad thing. Not to mention that the total omission of female sexuality is frankly jarring.

  • doublereed

    “Beware everyone! People are going to be more open to sexual experimentation and incredibly hot, kinky sex!! DANGER!!!”

    So terrifying!

  • eric

    Jamessweet @6:

    recognizing a heretofore unconventional relationship might embolden people who seek other types of unconventional relationships to be more forward about it.

    I admire your try, but given that gay, multipartner, etc. relationiships haven’t been illegal for decades, this argument is a bit of a nonsequitur to me. If your logic held, the change in men asking their wives for open relationships and wives accepting it etc. should’ve happened back in the 1960s, back when unconventional relationships became legal to have. Not now, when one unconventonal relationship is basically just getting tax and legal partnership recognition.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    I knew there was a reason I cheat so much!

  • Chiroptera

    Hokay. I guess there may have been legitimate questions how a trained researcher like Regnerus could have produced such a deeply flawed study. We all had our suspicions, and they have now been confirmed: he’s a rightwing crank.

  • Captain Mike

    @ eric @19: It’s less a matter of legality and more a matter of awareness.

  • Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    The fact that Adam and Steve engage in anal sex isn’t going to make Randy more likely to engage in it with his wife Eve, if they don’t particularly care for it in the first place. And why would Randy and Eve care what Adam and Steve are doing in the bedroom in the first place?

    Well, the example of Adam and Steve might inadvertently provide some pushback against the stupid cultural trope that anal sex is painful and unpleasant and humiliating and no one enjoys receiving it, which might increase the odds of Randy and Eve giving it an honest try…

  • raven

    Well this is a minor gift from the gods.

    Regnerus has outed himself as a rightwing nutcase, sloppy nonthinker, and religious kook.

    His biased study was already discredited so this is just icing on the cake.

    This is academic misconduct at best and fraud at worst. In my field or any science field, he would be on his way out the door. At the least the university would launch an investigation.

  • anubisprime

    Chiroptera @ 14

    We all had our suspicions, and they have now been confirmed: he’s a rightwing crank.

    And a devoted Christian and extremely dangerous because of it.

    The RCC love the tacky scribblings…they so want it to be their go to research.

    Russian law makers were exposed to his filth…and we see what they made of it.

    Sorry Ed…I am aware you have a respect for Franny…but when a religious leader uses terms like “Anthropological Regression” and “Anti-value” then it is quite plain that nothing has been learned from past RCC criticisms of SSM.

    Not because they don’t get it but because it fucks up their ego and historical position, face saving seemingly more important then humanity….but we all knew that anyway…they have form!

  • eric

    the example of Adam and Steve might inadvertently provide some pushback against the stupid cultural trope that anal sex is painful and unpleasant and humiliating and no one enjoys receiving it, which might increase the odds of Randy and Eve giving it an honest try…

    I still say that has nothing to do with marriage rights. Ten years ago, Adam and Steve walking down the street provided the same cultural pushback against cultural tropes about sex acts that they will tommorow walking down the street…and wearing a ring. Society’s perception of what A&S are doing in the bedroom hasn’t changed; only the ring and the associated economic etc. benefits.

    The conservative christian right practically obsesses over the bedroom behavior of gays. Are people trying to tell me that before SSM was legal, these folks saw gay people and didn’t think about the sort of sex they were having? That’s farcical. Randy and Eve’s thinking about it is related to their exposure to gay people, but whether those gay people are married or not isn’t going to change their curiousity regarding various sex acts.

  • Wylann

    I wonder if this is mere projection on the part of Regnerus.

  • naturalcynic

    Regnerus: pegged into the bigot hole. Again

  • cjcolucci

    Somehow, I don’t think those frat boys chanting “‘No’ means ‘yes’; ‘yes’ means anal” got the idea from contemplating same-sex marriage.

  • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com WMDKitty — Survivor

    Azkyroth

    Well, the example of Adam and Steve might inadvertently provide some pushback against the stupid cultural trope that anal sex is painful and unpleasant and humiliating and no one enjoys receiving it

    It’s been my personal, intimate experience* that anal sex IS painful, unpleasant, humiliating, and not at all enjoyable.

    If that’s what you’re into, I won’t judge, just don’t expect me to agree with you about it, and don’t ask me to participate.

    *rape

  • https://www.facebook.com/kalli.procopio Kalli Procopio

    The biggest boost to heterosexual anal sex was abstinence only education. As schools started teaching that sex was to be avoided, teens in traditionally conservative areas started passing around by word of mouth that anal sex was not real sex. So you can engage in anal sex and a) you were still a virgin and b) it didn’t count.

    A few years ago I met a young woman from Kansas living near Washington D.C. who was engaged to a young man back in Kansas. She was picking up guys in bars and having sex with them, when I asked about cheating she said, “it’s not cheating if you have anal since that isn’t really sex.” Apparently that was the word being spread by the abstinence only crowd… poor sex ed FTW!

  • Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    It’s been my personal, intimate experience* that anal sex IS painful, unpleasant, humiliating, and not at all enjoyable.

    If that’s what you’re into, I won’t judge, just don’t expect me to agree with you about it, and don’t ask me to participate.

    *rape

    What.

  • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com WMDKitty — Survivor

    Azkyroth

    I was perfectly clear.

  • Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    Except for where you implied what you wrote had any relation to the point I was making.

    I was initially going to respond with

    I’m sorry for what was done to you, but I’m also sorry that you don’t seem to have learned anything from the last time you made a fool of yourself generalizing from your experiences of a sexual or relationship phenomenon in a specific, extremely abusive context to the consensual practices of others.

    *”polyamory is just an excuse for men to cheat etc”

    But…you’re not doing *exactly* the same thing this time.

    Put it this way: When I made basically the same point about pubic shaving and attitudes about it, you were happy to see me make it (as far as I could tell):

    There are risks, there are people who don’t like it, and no one should be pressured into it (let alone having it forced on them) but at the same time, the tedious conventional wisdom and masturbatory jokes about how horrible it is not only others and alienates people who do enjoy it, but, extrapolating from the people who bought into the negative stereotypes and refused for a long time to try it with an open mind (in a consensual setting in the absence of prior trauma from being abused) but eventually did and found they actually really enjoyed it (I’m dating one of them; I know there are others), is needlessly ruining a lot of fun for a lot of people (though not everyone).

    Okay now?

  • Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    (Meant to add: and I’m still sorry about what was done to you. :( )

  • leonardschneider

    Somebody better warn Regnerus that hookers charge extra to fuck ass.

    @ Thinkfree83 (#12): It’s also a misconception that the Folsom Street Fair is a primarily gay event. From my observation, I’d call it about a fifty-fifty split between gay and hetero. It’s mainly a leather/fetish/BDSM event; one’s gender preference is pretty much beside the point. If you’ve got any sort of sexual bend, and feel like sharing with the world (or at least your fellow kinksters) it’s a really cool gig. I went a couple times, flyering for my friend’s piercing studio. Not my scene, I’m pretty vanilla, but I had fun. A dom was being pulled around by her sub in a full-size rickshaw, so I asked her where she’d installed the fare meter. They both laughed, and the sub said, “Mistress, I’ve got a great money-making idea!” (But I digress.)

    “[I]t will eventually embolden boyfriends everywhere, and not a few husbands, to press for what men have always historically wanted but were rarely allowed: sexual novelty…”

    See, Mark, this is the sort of thing that people work out together, usually within the first few dates and certainly by the time they’re married. I don’t know about you, but when I was single I actually communicated with the people I was fucking. Now that I’m married, my wife and I have had plenty of time to discuss things. Either way, it comes down to, “So what do you like? What makes your toes curl and your heart race? Are there things you’ve wanted to try and just haven’t yet? And alternatively, what is strictly off-limits? Are there things that creep you out? How can we both have fun together, as much as possible? Not to put to put too fine a point on it, what can I do that makes you come like a waterfall?”

    Believe it or not, Mark, people have conversations like this. Not necessarily all at once, but over time, the two people explore… They ask the questions I listed above, they suggest new ideas, and try new things, often starting with a simple a statement as, “I’ve always wondered about ________ , does that sound interesting? If not, don’t sweat it, it’s just an idea.” It’s called communication and mutual trust. You should try them sometime.

    I get this terrible vibe that you believe women to be — and you expect them to be — these woefully timid creatures, passive in all aspects of life, but particularly in bed. Any deviation from routine (“You want me to… put it in my mouth?”) will only confuse and possibly frighten them, so it’s best to leave well enough alone. They should be perfectly happy with six minutes of missionary on Tuesdays and Saturdays, just like your pastor told you.

    But no, that’s not enough. Men (or at least your idea of “men”) crave “novelty”…. Which most people refer to as “a normal sex life.” Go back and re-read the last few paragraphs, Mark. See, that’s how people figure out what “novelty” is (or isn’t). Couples try new and different things together, thus enjoying themselves more and avoiding…

    “[T]he form of permission to stray without jeopardizing their primary relationship.”

    Translation:

    “Honey, I’m gonna fuck around on you, do you mind?”

    “Why are you going to do that, dear?”

    “Because sex with you is really goddamn boring. So I’m going to go find a hooker who’ll let me come on her face; I’ll be back before dinner. What are we having, anyway?”

    “Clam chowder.”

    Eeeyeah. We’re back to the conflict between the timid women Mark seems to expect and the dull sex life he’s created by demanding women be timid. (Although personally, if giving a woman a facial is that damn big a deal to you, that’s a sign to cut down on the porn.) Personally Mark, your brain’s broke. You’ve somehow connected gay marriage into straight guys cheating on their wives. How you made that connec—

    Oh! That’s right! In your fever-dream world, gays are incapable of monogamy, married or not. And as gay marriage becomes normalized, all the married gay men slutting around will inspire married straight men to slut around, too. Okay.

    Well, on behalf of my Uncle Billy and his husband, not to mention various friends of mine, fuck you, Mark. Fuck you with a brick. Basically you called family of mine a slut; for that reason, if I ever meet you somehow, it just might work out that one of us will be going to jail, and the other to the hospital.

    “Discussion of openness in sexual partners in straight marriages will become more common…”

    Sooo…. You’re saying we’ll become a society of swingers? The ‘Casual Encounters’ section of Craigslist will begin to generate more traffic than Google? Holy shit, we’ll all be so busy running around fucking any adult with a hole and a heartbeat nobody will get any work done. Life will become one giant Penthouse Forum letter. (I promise I won’t fuck your wife, Mark. To be frank, I really like it doggy style, and it would take so long to explain the concept to her I’ll have lost my wood.)

    Mark, are you familiar with the concept of “projection?” I think that’s what you’re doing right now. You’re projecting your own sexual fantasies, only couched to sound like offended moral self-righteousness.

    “… just as the practice of heterosexual anal sex got a big boost from the normalization of gay men’s sexual behavior in both contemporary porn and in the American imagination.”

    Ah, more projection… And rather naive at that.

    So — heh, heh — in all this rampant anal sex that’s going to start happening, tell me: who’s on the receiving end, so to speak? Will all women suddenly, out of the blue, decide they really do like it in the ass? I mean, I’ve been with a few, but they were still in the definite minority. Or… Oh! I know! The sale of strap-ons is going to skyrocket! Porn shops won’t be able to keep up with demand! Every husband and boyfriend in America will be spending their evenings bent over the edge of the sofa! The stock price of Astroglide will skyrocket!

    God, but you’re an idiot. Naive, and an idiot. It’s a little hard to tell from your statement whether straight couples will start watching gay porn for fun (maybe your wife should watch some: she’d finally learn how to suck a dick) or if you’re referring to the usual anal scenes in straight porn, scenes that have been there for as long as the business has existed. It doesn’t matter either way: you either like it in the ass or you don’t, male or female, straight or gay.

    (There’s a mind-blower for you, Mark: not all gay men like to be fucked. Sorry to intrude on your preconceived notions, but them’s the facts.)

    And don’t worry about the American imagination, either. It’s been doing just fine for years. Gay marriage won’t have one iota of effect on what people will think of doing with their genitals.

    Now fuck off and go away, Regnerus. Your new copy of “Dames & Dobermans” is waiting for you.

  • dingojack

    For rates of anal and oral sex see this PDF Sexual Behavior and Selected Health Measures: Men and Women produced by the CDC in September 2005 for a historical overview. Especially see Table 16 on page 34 (opposite sex) and Table 17 on page 35 (same sex).

    Dingo

  • dingojack

    Borked the link so you’ll have to search for it by name, sorry about that.

    Dingo

  • Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    The stock price of Astroglide will skyrocket!

    You really want something more viscous. >.>

  • leonardschneider

    @ Azkyroth (#39):

    I used to use far too much lube during sex. They called me Sid Viscous.