The Horrors of Christian Comedy

There’s an old saying in the music business that if you don’t have the talent to make it, just declare yourself a Christian band and you’ll have a ready-made audience. The same is true of comedy. I give you Brad Stine, a painfully unfunny Christian comedian trying to explain why atheism is dumb. You’re welcome.

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  • had3

    “One nation, under Allah, with liberty and justice for all.” At least it would be the same Abrahamic deity, so as to be inoffensive to Christians.

  • davidlee

    No wonder Christian comedy clubs aren’t taking off.

  • marcus

    TS;DW (Too Stupid;Didn’t Watch)

    Just enough to realize that it was fucking pathetic. At least he realizes that God and unicorns have the same basis in reality.

  • Doubting Thomas

    At least he realizes that God and unicorns have the same basis in reality.

    That’s as far as I got too.

  • doublereed

    omg when is his next tour? Is he coming to DC???

  • http://zenoferox.blogspot.com/ Zeno

    We all know what tipped Antony Flew over the edge into belief. It was senility.

  • donkensler

    Yikes! That’s supposed to be funny?

  • Childermass

    Re: comments 2 and 3

    I wonder if he even knows that there are unicorns in the Bible?

  • shouldbeworking

    He must be using a Christian definition of the word ‘comedy’. That clip didn’t fit my atheist definition at all.

  • cadrpear

    That’s not comedy. That’s a sermon. No joke.

  • John Pieret

    “I’m a conservative and a Christian and I’m PROUD!”

    Ok … when are you going to work on being funny?

    Or is it just easier to get a standing ovation by simply making political statements that your audience agrees with?

    For a few more gigs a year, Brad, try the KKK circuit … all you need to do is use the N-word a lot.

  • http://www.durrantpublishing.co.uk Paul Durrant

    This isn’t comedy but a weird religious rant.

  • zenlike

    From Wikipedia:

    Relatively unknown until 2003, Stine first gained exposure when he was identified as a conservative[2] Christian on his debut album, Put a Helmet On!

    Says it all really, too unfunny to draw an audience, but identifies as a conservative christian, and suddenly the dupes start spending their money on his bs.

  • dingojack

    Childermass – I like the verse that asks whether one can ‘break’ a unicorn, and if one should tether your unicorn when one is at home:

    Job 39:9

    “Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee, or abide by thy crib?”

    Dingo

    ——–

    Who knew King James was so ‘street’?

  • doublereed

    Yea, I was surprised that he only had like 3 jokes in 4 minutes. They’ve either got to be funnier jokes (like WAY funnier jokes) or he has to make more of them. I think he’s used to being a preacher where you aren’t expected to be funny, but you throw comedy in here and there.

    And most distressingly, he didn’t end on a joke. He ended on a political statement. That’s incredibly poor form for a comedian.

    I mean unless that whole “I’m going to come out as a conservative christian and be PROUD!” thing was supposed to be a joke…

  • caseloweraz

    All I can say after watching that sermon (thanks, cadrpear) all the way through is that Stine ought to get shorter pants, or roll up his cuffs before going on stage. Otherwise he’ll go broke paying dry-cleaners to remove the stains from that stuff he’s spreading.

  • Craig Pennington

    I saw this on facebook with the title “This Guy Proves It’s Crazy to Be Atheist With One Simple and Hilarious Question,” so I watched it to figure out what the simple question was. I kept expecting something clever (the triumph of hope over experience) and was somewhat disappointed when it ended without any sign of clever. I guess the title meant the ~”how can you be offended by something that doesn’t exist?!”~ bit of nonsense. (a) Nobody is offended, and (b) the actions of believers in gods aren’t imaginary.

  • Mike Morris

    When I watch a real comedian like Dara O’briein for instance, I get prepared to be involved, alert, paying attention. His work makes you pay attention lest you miss something. This clown Stine rants at the audience who clearly came to extend their echo chamber bubble and be fed the same pablum they get everywhere else.

  • http://Reallyawakeguy.blogspot.com somnus

    Umm… so ranting the typical anti-atheist drivel spouted by the least thoughtful segment of Christian defenders, but doing it energetically while sweating a lot qualifies as comedy?

    I mean, intentionally?

  • http://zenoferox.blogspot.com/ Zeno

    The “comedian” got the audience up on its feet. Validation! (At least, it validates his approach to career advancement. He’s found success as an unfunny comedian by pandering to certain audiences—audiences ignorant enough to know nothing about the background of ID or the basis for Judge Jones’s decision in the Dover case (to which he appears to be alluding, although it was in Pennsylvania, not Georgia).)

    When he brags about ID being supported by “double-doctorates,” no doubt he means Dembski. His use of the plural is presumably comedic license.

  • Randomfactor

    I mean unless that whole “I’m going to come out as a conservative christian and be PROUD!” thing was supposed to be a joke…

    Yeah…if I’d been there, I’d have been laughing at all the wrong lines…

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Dane Cook doesn’t look so bad, now does he?

  • Chiroptera

    Heh. I was planning on watching the video (out of curiosity) once I got home. Now, after reading the comments here, I don’t think I’ll bother.

  • leskimopie

    So maybe I wasn’t paying all that close attention, but even amongst his own crowd of like minded people who easily swallow his crap as ‘thoughtful’ in any way…i heard a lot of applause, but I don’t think I heard any laughter.

  • http://polrant@blogspot.com democommie

    Somebody like Lewis Black or George Carlin comes on stage, does an hour or more of original comedy, maybe 10% is about religion being bullshit and the religious being idiots.

    The jerk-off that is the subject of Ed’s OP and others like him preach under the guise of doing comedy.

    Well Mr. Black and company they’re all gonna burn, 4EVAH, in the lake of fire. Otoh, Brad Stine is gonna be doin’ an HBO special right after they all go to hell.

  • loren

    “That’s not comedy. That’s a sermon. No joke.”

    This can be demonstrated empirically. As in, this video clip is just shy of 4 minutes long, and the audience laughs well at 0:28, mildly at 0:45 and 0:50, and again at 2:00.

    AND THAT’S IT. The crowd laughs just 4 times in 4 minutes, and two of those were barely more than a polite chuckle from a few audience members. There’s a couple more times where the audience applauds without laughing, but that’s a reaction to a speech, not a comedy routine. Seriously, how often do you see a standing ovation in the *middle* of a comedy routine, especially when said standing ovation isn’t for a punchline (instead, it follows “people who are like us, and want our country back.”)

    Heck, *actual* Sunday morning church sermons often produce more congregational laughter than this guy.

  • Gvlgeologist, FCD

    I stopped watching at the 49 second point, after he pointed out that unicorns aren’t real, then compared them favorably to god.

    What bugs me about these idiots is that they constantly whine that atheists (or liberals, jews, or the villain du jour) are “offended” by something such as “In God We Trust” on our money, or prayers in public school, etc. No, the problem is that it’s unconstitutional and therefore illegal.

    It’s like someone whining that the objections to bank robbery are because the patrons are offended.

  • imthegenieicandoanything

    People likely do not get to order alcoholic beverages at this guy’s venues, so what’s making many of them laugh?

    Also, imagine the graffiti that would be left in the toilet stalls at a Xian comedy nightclub! Or the groupies waiting outside the stage doors!

  • Synfandel

    He uses “zingin'” as a euphemism for “fuckin'”. He’s swearing in tongues. Now that’s funny.

  • Jordan Genso

    @22

    Damn you Modusoperandi for that keen observation. Your quips are always good, but that one convinced my wife that I’m not currently doing work, as I couldn’t help but start laughing.

  • Matrim

    Yeah, it’s funny how a Christian comedian is indistinguishable from a Christian preacher. I’m not sure what that speaks more of: the lack of humor in their comedians or the ridiculousness of their preachers.

  • http://www.improbablejoe.blogspot.com Improbable Joe, bearer of the Official SpokesGuitar

    There’s a comedian, Morgan Murphy, who does a brilliant bit skewering Carlos Mencia for being a crappy stand-up hack. What does she do? She does one of his bits nearly verbatim, but without the animation and the inflection and the shouting for the audience to get behind him. She does it monotone, and shows that Mencia is basically just shouting bigoted, nationalist propaganda BS for applause without telling a single joke for the entire length of his bit.

    This “comedy act” is really similar. The hack is using the cadence and upwards/downwards inflection of comedy. The problem is that there’s no humor in any of the things he’s saying. He’s saying things in the rhythm of the set-up of a joke, and then delivering the end with the inflection of a punchline, but there’s no buildup or climax, and zero humor. It is just angry shouting along the pattern of stand-up.

  • dingojack

    Improbable Joe – well that figures. Fundies seem to believe if you say the magic words (or use the magic symbols) just right then *poof* results occur. They’re kind of like children who think they’re speaking Mandarin because they’re making noises that sound ‘Mandarin-ish’.*

    Dingo

    ——–

    * The don’t realise that actually doing stand-up comedy requires — well — comedic talent, rather than comic-sounding vocal dynamics.

  • https://www.facebook.com/kan.hedges.7 Kan Hedges

    Not a connoisseur of comedy, but his gait, posture, and timing seem derived from George Carlin, no?

  • escuerd

    One thing that stood out about this cargo cult comedy act is the way the guy’s arguments emphasize authority.

    “[blah blah] double Ph.D. [yadda yadda] judge thinks he’s smarter than Oxford professor”

    It’s little more than a dick-measuring contest by proxy. My dad can beat up your dad. Nyah! We don’t need to worry our pretty little heads about the quality of arguments for ID. It’s reassuring enough to know that a couple of people with impressive-sounding credentials find it credible. Anyone who disagrees just thinks they’re smarter. Atheists are so arrogant.

    doublereed @15:

    I mean unless that whole “I’m going to come out as a conservative christian and be PROUD!” thing was supposed to be a joke…

    Oh, I get it! It’s like what all them queermos say! What an exceedingly clever fellow.

  • scienceavenger

    @34 Yes, with a little Sam Kinison sprinkled in.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    scienceavenger “@34 Yes, with a little Sam Kinison sprinkled in.”

    Don’t leave us hanging. Sprinkled in what?

  • thebookofdave

    Your quips are always good, but that one convinced my wife that I’m not currently doing work, as I couldn’t help but start laughing.

    Don’t worry, Jordan. If you watched the video, you can assure your her that you’re taking on the tough chores.

  • thebookofdave

    assure your her

    (remember: always preview before you submitting comments)

  • smrnda

    I attended churches a few times, and found that most evangelical pastors attempt to get a few corny jokes out during their sermons. They’re never funny, but the audience laughs since they’re supposed to laugh.

    That’s probably why Christian comedians aren’t funny; the audience won’t boo a Christian offstage for simply not being funny, so there’s no need to actually be funny at all, the same way a Christian movie will be viewed dutifully no matter how bad it is.

  • Crimson Clupeidae

    Ed:

    I give you Brad Stine

    No, please, take him back!

    I’m not even going to watch the video…..

  • dindc

    His leisure suit was funny.

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