The Virgin Mary Wins an Award

Nearly 2000 years after she died, the Virgin Mary is still winning awards. No, not an Oscar for her acting performance in convincing Joseph that she was still a virgin even though she was pregnant. She won an award in Spain normally given to police officers who are killed in the line of duty. Wha?

The country’s interior minister, Jorge Fernández Díaz, singled out an icon of the Virgin Mary, in Málaga, to receive the gold medal of police merit – which is normally reserved for police who have died in terrorist attacks.

Announcing the award in February, Díaz lauded the Virgin and her congregation for “maintaining a close collaboration with police, particularly during the acts celebrated in Holy Week, and for sharing police values such as dedication, caring, solidarity and sacrifice”.

The award has infuriated secularists, who are demanding the medal be revoked, given that the Virgin and her congregation had “failed” to meet any of the minimum requirements.

“The norm specifies clearly that the medal is given to people not immaterial beings,” said Francisco Delgado, of Secular Europe. “It’s meant to recognise exceptional acts of service by police.”

His group has joined forces with the Movement Towards A Secular State (Movimiento hacia un estado laico) to bring the interior minister to court. The case will be heard in June.

Oh man, don’t let Louis Gohmert hear about this. He’ll be demanding that the Congressional Medal of Honor be given to Jesus.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Pierce R. Butler

    So the Spanish government has declared The Assumption™ an act of terrorism?

    Where is Tommy Torquemada when we need him?

  • grumpyoldfart

    My prediction:

    The interior minister will be exonerated and the award will stand.

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    The icon got an award?? Rather than the supposed BMV*???

    _____________

    * of if you prefer English ‘the BVM’

  • Doug Little

    I’d be outraged if I was an actual recipient of this award as this just turns it into a joke.

  • Daryl Carpenter

    According to Catholic doctrine, Mary never died. She flew up into heaven without experiencing that unfortunate occurrence.

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    Doug, if you were an actual recipient of this award you’d be dead.

    Personally, I think Jorge Fernández Díaz is a brave man for standing up to God and saying “Fuck You and Your rules against idolatry”.

  • http://polrant@blogspot.com democommie

    “He’ll be demanding that the Congressional Medal of Honor be given to Jesus.”

    JEUS threw himself on the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch to save his Gangstas of Galilee Posse? Who knew?!

  • http://polrant@blogspot.com democommie

    “* of if you prefer English ‘the BVM’”

    Back in the day, Richardelguru, a lot of clerics referred to her as The Blessed Mary, using the initials, “B.M.” for shorthand. after a few of them wound up being smoking holes in the ground, that shit stopped! True story.

  • anubisprime

    I think there is a pandemic of biblical proportions going down globally.

    The malady is fear and dim realization that the delusion is slowly but irrevocably slipping over the edge into the tarpit of noxious bubbling steaming effluent…where it will sink without much more then a odorous burp of escaping hysteria.

    It seems to present itself as fuckwit extravaganza extraordinaire !

    Recently I have had the honour of pairs sometimes bodies in triplicate pushing my doorbell and declaring that in fact ‘jeebus is coming’

    That is not so strange but what strikes is the frequency of these visits.

    Before it once or twice a month…I have had three visits in the last week…weird!

    To each and every one that uttered that phrase I solemnly advised that after consultation with his GP maybe he should consider a course of Viagra…and that there are some good deals, apparently, available on the world wide interwebs!

    They all seemed rather confused and in a state of mental disarray by my response…I take the opportunity to say..”You are welcomed ” and close the door, my work having been done here!

    But my point is really that there seems to be an upsurge of head banging out and out dead head clownish behaviour by the ‘faithful’ the last few months.

    They all seem to be jitterbugging to the obvious that they are …as a fuckwit delusional legion starting to fragment and the fatuous premise by which they all boogie by whatever their personal cult, is crumbling before their collective myopic eyes.

    This is just one more data point on the graph of dumbfuck christo fans performing dumbfuck deeds….that is all!

  • Doug Little

    sigurd @6,

    Oh shit, don’t know how I missed that. In that case I’d be pissed if I was one of the surviving family members.

  • http://www.gregory-gadow.net Gregory in Seattle

    The Assumption? Isn’t that when Mary vanished from the record, and everyone assumed she was taken bodily into Heaven?

  • http://dontlinkmebro F [i’m not here, i’m gone]

    Gregory in Seattle:

    Close. It’s where they stopped bothering to make up a record after the fact, because really, how much depth does a female character need?

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Gregory in Seattle @ # 11: … she was taken bodily into Heaven?

    Correct. Her ass zoomed!

  • Who Cares

    No, not an Oscar for her acting performance in convincing Joseph that she was still a virgin even though she was pregnant.

    That is what the Catholic church had to claim after they voted Jesus to be the son of god.

    I prefer another interpretation. That one makes a pretty good case that Maria was a prostitute. Explains her not knowing the father, the refusal of Josephs family to let him sleep in one of their homes, the refusal of the innkeeper to let them into the inn and a few other odds and ends.

  • davroslives

    He’s welcome to give the Congressional Medal of Honor to Jesus, since it (like Him) doesn’t exist…

    (Sorry, my deeply ingrained pedantry made me post this)

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    Gohmert would have to push for Jesus being given the Presidential Medal of Freedom. The Congressional Medal of Honor is for military personnel only, and that damn hippy Jesus wasn’t a soldier.

  • Michael Heath

    timgueguen writes:

    Gohmert would have to push for Jesus being given the Presidential Medal of Freedom. The Congressional Medal of Honor is for military personnel only, and that damn hippy Jesus wasn’t a soldier.

    Ahem. Revelation 19 [RSV]:

    11 Then I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse! He [Jesus Christ] who sat upon it is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he judges and makes war. 12 His eyes are like a flame of fire, and on his head are many diadems; and he has a name inscribed which no one knows but himself. 13 He is clad in a robe dipped in blood, and the name by which he is called is The Word of God. 14 And the armies of heaven, arrayed in fine linen, white and pure, followed him on white horses. 15 From his mouth issues a sharp sword with which to smite the nations, and he will rule them with a rod of iron; he will tread the wine press of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty. 16 On his robe and on his thigh he has a name inscribed, King of kings and Lord of lords. 17 Then I saw an angel standing in the sun, and with a loud voice he called to all the birds that fly in midheaven, “Come, gather for the great supper of God, 18 to eat the flesh of kings, the flesh of captains, the flesh of mighty men, the flesh of horses and their riders, and the flesh of all men, both free and slave, both small and great.” 19 And I saw the beast and the kings of the earth with their armies gathered to make war against him who sits upon the horse and against his army. 20 And the beast was captured, and with it the false prophet who in its presence had worked the signs by which he deceived those who had received the mark of the beast and those who worshiped its image. These two were thrown alive into the lake of fire that burns with sulphur. 21 And the rest were slain by the sword of him who sits upon the horse, the sword that issues from his mouth; and all the birds were gorged with their flesh.

    And then you have whole creating Hell and sending people there to burn forever problem. Jesus a pacifist? No one promises to inflict more violence on others than the Bible’s Jesus character.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=827538816 nickcan

    >an Oscar for her acting performance in convincing Joseph that she was still a virgin even though she was pregnant.

    Well, they were engaged at the time, so if anyone knew that Mary wasn’t a virgin, it was probably Joseph. It seems more likely that she had pre-martial sex with her fiancé then anyone else.

  • mordred

    The secularists are complaining about that? What about the Catholics?

    If Mary was still one of my Gods, I would be really pissed of about that act of blasphemy!

    (Okay, even back than I probably would have been laughing my ass off – but then I was never a fanatic)

  • had3

    I was just walking around Malaga a week ago and I did feel safe, so, thanks BVM!

  • birgerjohansson

    Thor slayed a lot of giants that made the land unsafe. And he (and the other Aesir) are supposed to have perished fighting the Ice Giants. Therefore, Thor has better merits for the medal. In fact, if the court upholds the decision Delgado should nominate Thor or some other suitable pagan god.

  • dingojack

    Surely the more obvious candidate would be St. Michael?

    Dingo

  • Al Dente

    Gregory at Seattle @11

    The Assumption? Isn’t that when Mary vanished from the record, and everyone assumed she was taken bodily into Heaven?

    The real story is that in around 400 CE the Byzantine emperor told the Bishop of Jerusalem to send some relics of Mary to Constantinople. The Bishop, named Juvenal, couldn’t produce any but not wanting the guy with the executioner and torturers on his payroll to be annoyed, said there weren’t any because Mary didn’t die but was taken bodily into Heaven.

  • busterggi

    If its an award normally going to people working with police perhaps the BVM appears on a lot of Spain’s equivant of doughnuts.