Cliven Bundy: Constitutional Scholar and Historian

Gawker reports that Cliven Bundy has now decided he’s going to teach the American people about their own history and the meaning of the Constitution. That might be slightly easier if he wasn’t a moron, but he isn’t gonna let that stop him. He’s got a series of videos on Youtube (but password protected). Here are some of the particularly stupid claims he makes on them:

…I’m free to tell the world what I think and I will. When we get to spiritual things, I have people ask me, “Well, how do you know the Constitution’s an inspired document?”

How I know that is I know that those men that were on that committee that created the Constitution, they were God-fearing men and God-loving men and they did bow their head and get on their knees in the morning before they went to these sessions, and they did gain some inspiration. And when they went and created this document, that inspiration was included in these documents. That’s how come it’s an inspired document.

John Adams clearly stated otherwise, as I’ve quoted many times. And in fact, when Ben Franklin suggested that they pray during a very contentious debate during the constitutional convention, the motion was tabled and not taken up. But you know what they did a lot of? Drinking. At a single party during the convention, the 55 men in attendance drank “54 bottles of Madeira, 60 bottles of claret, eight of whiskey, 22 of porter, eight of hard cider, 12 of beer, and seven bowls of alcoholic punch.”

So where we are here today at this time is we’re finding out that our government is become a central government. One similar to the one that our founding fathers fought at the revolutionary war. They’re very similar.

We have a central government with unlimited power. A central government that wants to dictate to us and wants to start telling us what to think and how to live. What religion. And you know what religion we can’t.

They become, our government is become just sort of the opposite what our founding fathers wanted they created three branches of government. Our executive… uh… uh, our legislature, and… our… adjudical.

Oh yes, the famous “adjudical” branch of government.

We go back over 400 years ago and our forefathers were pilgrims and they had come from other countries. And why would they risk their life, and you know, back then, transportation was in a sailboat. They figured wasn’t very far out there, the ocean was flat out and would fall off, that was how much education, how much we knew about the ocean…

Uh, no. They knew the earth was round, not flat. It was known for hundreds of years prior to that. They weren’t nearly as ignorant as you are.

They had a central government which was Europe, with the strongest army in the world, and they ruled with unlimited power…

Yeah, that famous central government of Europe that we defeated in the Revolutionary War. And again in World War I and II. This guy is a genius.

The individual is the power here. We didn’t have the state government, we didn’t have the national government, those things didn’t exist, they had the thirteen colonies, but we the people formed a constitution. And so one thing we didn’t want was a central government. We didn’t want a big central government, we didn’t want a big state government, we was even leery about having even a local government. So one thing we didn’t create is a big central government. And that’s sorta what we have now is a big central government. And we the people didn’t create that.

Hey guess what you would have learned if you’d taken an actual history class? That the entire point of the Constitutional Convention was to replace the Articles of Confederation because the federal government under those articles was too powerless to be effective.

All of our government problems can be solved by just following the Constitution of the United States. It’s that great a document.

And not only that, all of the problems of this world, other countries, and their domestic and their religious and their government problems and their battles between each other and all of that, can be really solved by following our Constitution.

Our Constitution is based on ten things, and it’s based on the Ten Commandments, most everything that was done in the Constitution follows that law, which would be our founding fathers’ law, the Ten Commandments. And when we vary from that, then our Constitution becomes sort of worthless. And we as a nation have varied a long ways in our moral standards as far as upholding and sustaining not only the Ten Commandments but upholding and sustaining our Constitution.

Funny, I can’t find any mention of the Ten Commandments anywhere in the Constitution. In fact, at least 7 of them would be blatantly unconstitutional if they were passed into law. This is what happens when you replace thinking with the memorizing of ignorant talking points, you end up sounding like an idiot. Or in this case, being an idiot.

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  • Johnny Vector

    My first thought was I want to ask him to name five of those founding fathers he knows so much about. Hell, I’d even give him a hint: Johnny Tremain wasn’t one of them.

    But actually after reading this whole article, now I just want to ask him to list the 10 commandments. I mean really he ought to have to show me where they appear in the constitution, but for him, I’ll give him credit just to list them all. 50 bucks says he can’t get past shall not kill and shall not lie.

  • matty1

    I am very concerned to hear that the central government of Europe was already in place in the 18th century. Who will tell UKIP?

  • http://twitter.com/#!/TabbyLavalamp Tabby Lavalamp

    And not only that, all of the problems of this world, other countries, and their domestic and their religious and their government problems and their battles between each other and all of that, can be really solved by following our Constitution.

    Oh hell no. I want nothing to do with your Constitution that allows heavily armed idiots like those at the Bundy Ranch to walk around with the weaponry they do.

  • matty1

    @1 hell going by this he’d struggle to name “ten things”

  • Kevin Kehres

    Tonight’s Hannity Report: Sean and historian David Barton discuss Cliven Bundy’s brilliant observations on the Ten Commandments being the basis of the United States government.

    (This announcement brought to you by the Republican Party and Fox News.)

  • Loqi

    David Barton is clamoring to do a book with this guy. It will tell the story of that famous picture of Washington crossing the Nile to fight King George, Pharaoh of the Soviet Union, who was trying to impose tyranny on the Israelite slaves by taking their guns and giving them healthcare.

  • tsig

    “At a single party during the convention, the 55 men in attendance drank “54 bottles of Madeira, 60 bottles of claret, eight of whiskey, 22 of porter, eight of hard cider, 12 of beer, and seven bowls of alcoholic punch.”

    Truly a heroic inspiration of the spirit.

  • Synfandel

    …they were God-fearing men and God-loving men…

    Fear and love: the perfect Christian combination. Love me with all your heart or I’ll burn you for all eternity, in my infinite mercy.

  • dingojack

    In fact, the Ancient Greeks were well aware the Earth was spherical (or a spheroid)*. By 16th Century, when the first European colonists got to the Americas** they had been aware of the shape of the Earth for over 2000 years.

    Dingo

    ——–

    * During Lunar eclipses the Earth’s shadow on the moon was always circular. The only way this could be so was if the Earth had a profile that always cast a circular shadow, and the only shape that did this was a sphere.

    ** Well you can’t expect a dumb cracker like Cliven to know that English, Norwegians, Scots and Welsh fishermen (amongst others) had been fishing off Newfoundland for hundreds of years before the Spainish came to the Americas; or that Vikings had colonised Newfoundland. That would be stretching his limited knowledge too far.

  • dingojack

    “At a single party during the convention, the 55 men in attendance drank “54 bottles of Madeira, 60 bottles of claret, eight of whiskey, 22 of porter, eight of hard cider, 12 of beer, and seven bowls of alcoholic punch.””

    The spirit of 1776, eh?*

    Dingo

    ——–

    * or even: ‘Holy Spirit, Batman!’

  • rationalinks

    Thank you, Cliven Bundy, for being the stereotype of everything that is wrong with this country. It would be humorous if it weren’t so tragic.

  • dhall

    Well, to be fair, some of the papers I get from students really aren’t much better, some are worse, and his appalling take on early US history doesn’t surprise me at all. Partly because much of what students in K-12 are taught is either wrong or far too simplistic and one-sided anyway, but partly because, just as scientific facts have become opinions in the minds of many, historical facts have likewise become opinions, and therefore, open to any interpretation you like. Ignorance of history would seem to be a point of pride with many Americans. Actually, ignorance of almost anything is.

  • eric

    All of our government problems can be solved by just following the Constitution of the United States

    So tell us why you aren’t following this part, Cliven:

    The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises…

  • D. C. Sessions

    This announcement brought to you by the Republican Party and Fox News.

    No need to repeat yourself.

  • bahrfeldt

    Just wondering, did any substantial number of the Bundy Sturmabteilung ever go home and back to a job? Or at least collecting their allowance from mommy?

  • matty1

    At a single party during the convention, the 55 men in attendance drank “54 bottles of Madeira, 60 bottles of claret, eight of whiskey, 22 of porter, eight of hard cider, 12 of beer, and seven bowls of alcoholic punch.”

    I see now why they had to separate from Britain, couldn’t keep pace with the drinking.

  • raven

    We go back over 400 years ago and our forefathers were pilgrims and they had come from other countries.

    Cliven Bundy’s forebearers were Mormon seditionists and polygamists. They moved to Utah to start their own country, Deseret or Zion or some such. And fought a war with the USA, the Utah war, which they lost.

    The US built a fort above Salt Lake City, Fort Douglas, to keep an eye on the Mormons. The guns point down at the city. And…it is still there. Just in case.

  • Mr Ed

    History, politics and government as seen by a cargo cult.

  • raven

    Just wondering, did any substantial number of the Bundy Sturmabteilung ever go home and back to a job?

    The head of one of the militias, Mike Vanderboerg, is a thirty year military veteran and on Social Security Disability. He is almost certainly collecting a military pension and SSDI. In other words, one of Romney’s 47% moochers, takers, and parasites.

    It is quite likely he isn’t the only one. In fact, It wouldn’t surprise me if most of them are getting some type of government transfer payments.

    Bundy himself is a moocher, taker, thief, and Welfare Queen. He has been running up to 900 head of cattle on 500,000 acres of BLM land without paying anything.

  • caseloweraz

    Ed: At a single party during the convention, the 55 men in attendance drank “54 bottles of Madeira, 60 bottles of claret, eight of whiskey, 22 of porter, eight of hard cider, 12 of beer, and seven bowls of alcoholic punch.”

    That last is what Cliven Bundy needs, IMO — an alcoholic punch.

  • DaveL

    Bundy’s version kind of reminds me of the “Time Masheen” from Idiocracy, about Charlie Chapman’s Nazi regime and the rise of the “Uhn”.

  • caseloweraz

    Cliven Bundy: Our Constitution is based on ten things, and it’s based on the Ten Commandments, most everything that was done in the Constitution follows that law, which would be our founding fathers’ law, the Ten Commandments. And when we vary from that, then our Constitution becomes sort of worthless.

    One commandment says “Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s house, or his field, … or any thing that is thy neighbor’s.”

    Remember that one, Mr. Bundy? I’m pretty sure it applies to grazing your cattle on pastures you have no legal right to use.

  • gertzedek

    In fact, at least 7 of them would be blatantly unconstitutional if they were passed into law.

    Actually, by my count, exactly seven would be blatantly unconstitutional, and the remaining three are illegal but never addressed in the Constitution. (Those being the ones against murder, theft, and bearing false witness — i.e., perjury. And, yes, the “bearing false witness” thing was originally meant in context of a court of law.)

    We didn’t have the state government, we didn’t have the national government, those things didn’t exist, they had the thirteen colonies, but we the people formed a constitution.

    The fuck does he think is in the Constitution? How can you possibly read the Constitution and not think we have a federal government? All it does is set up a federal government!

  • scienceavenger

    Dunning-Kruger, white courtesy phone please…

  • eric

    I see now why they had to separate from Britain, couldn’t keep pace with the drinking.

    Oh, I don’t know about that. In the 1700s a British sailor’s ration of beer was 1 gallon/day, to be distributed between 11am and noon. They could instead get half a pint of 110-proof rum if beer was unavailable.

    Keep in mind this was the amount you drank when you were working, not what you drank when you were cutting loose.

  • reasonbe

    …all of the above, and it bugs me when anyone can’t say “we” without saying “we the people”.

    Buh-bye, hon. We the people are going to the store.

  • matty1

    @25 I think I was unclear, I was mocking my own countries reputation for alcoholism by implying that if the listed drinks were all the American founders could handle they clearly couldn’t keep up with British levels of drinking.

  • Crimson Clupeidae

    That might be slightly easier if he wasn’t a moron, but he isn’t gonna let that stop him.

    It’s good to see people attempting to overcome their limitations, even if unsuccessful.

  • John Pieret

    our government is become just sort of the opposite what our founding fathers wanted they created three branches of government. Our executive… uh… uh, our legislature, and… our… adjudical.

    But you don’t want the president to do anything (when he’s a Democrat and, especially, black); you don’t want them “adjudicals” to do anything and, most of all, you don’t want the legislature to do anything. Kind of pointless of the Founders, wasn’t it?

  • matty1

    He has great respect for the ajudical branch, it’s the judicial he has a problem with.

  • http://www.pixelated-reality.com Alareth

    For a country he claims doesn’t exist, Cliven sure is fond of it’s flag and founding documents …

  • abb3w

    @-1, Gawker

    Bundy, the Mormon father of 14

    […]

    I am reminded of a line from GRRM’s “A Game of Thrones”:

    Her father had once said of Walder Frey that he was the only lord in the Seven Kingdoms who could field an army out of his breeches.

  • Larry

    It would appear Mr. Bundy knows as much about the Constitution as he does about the negro.

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    I’m guessing Bundy has only read the Second Amendment.

  • lpetrich

    “At a single party during the convention, the 55 men in attendance drank “54 bottles of Madeira, 60 bottles of claret, eight of whiskey, 22 of porter, eight of hard cider, 12 of beer, and seven bowls of alcoholic punch.”

    Seems like they got inspiration from Dionysus, the Greek god of wine. 😀

  • urbanwitch

    Well your National Anthem was based on a well-known drinking song of the time,after all!

  • http://polrant@blogspot.com democommie

    “The head of one of the militias, Mike Vanderboerg, is a thirty year military veteran.”

    Not so, according to everything I can find he’s never been in the U.S. armed forces.If he was in for 20 years he’d be receiving 1/2 of his base pay, if 30 years he’d be receiving 75%. He would also be on the VA’s rolls. He’s a fucking poseur, who’s made more than a few enemies of his own within the ranks of the witless militia moronz. This:

    “Mike, this is for you, fucktard: If I EVER decide to come at you with a projectile, I will walk up to your cancer-ridden walking corpse and push the bullet into you and through your puss-laden, seeping, oozing carcass with my fingers, you disgusting, useless fuck.

    What a fucking coward.”

    is from here: http://beforeitsnews.com/tea-party/2013/10/mike-vanderboegh-king-of-useless-genetic-waste-2508718.html

    When even those shitheads hate you, you got some problems.

  • gerryl

    Here’s an idea: Someone get Cliven Bundy and Donald Sterling together in front of a camera and just let them start talking.

  • dingojack

    It somehow reminds me of the teabaggers attempt to shut down the government (to get ACA repealed). It excited the teatards, but, in the court of public opinion, it was a decisive ‘own goal’*.

    You keep talkin’ Cliven, you’re just digging yourself, and your ’cause’, deeper and deeper into the shit.

    Dingo

    ——–

    * The teabaggers came across to the majority as being nothing more than ineffectual, empty-headed, loudmouthed, delusional, petulant, narcissistic arseholes.

  • matty1

    Has anyone considered that maybe Cliven drank “54 bottles of Madeira, 60 bottles of claret, eight of whiskey, 22 of porter, eight of hard cider, 12 of beer, and seven bowls of alcoholic punch.” before coming up with the idea for these videos?

  • http://polrant@blogspot.com democommie

    Cliven and Donald Sterling in the same room? Nahgunahapin, Sterling’s a JOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Cliven don’t got no truck with them JESUS killerz.