Fox News: Unfair and Inane on Humanist Chaplains

The Military Association of Atheists and Freethinkers is officially requesting that the Pentagon appoint humanist chaplains for non-believing soldiers and Fox News did their usual routine of childish and idiotic questions and comments about it. Seriously, is there a single intelligent thought in all of this?

On Tuesday’s edition of Out Numbered, Fox News host Harris Faulkner noted that the Military Association of Atheists and Free Thinkers had planned to request that the Pentagon provide “humanist” chaplains to serve nonbelievers.

“Are we going to have chaplains for vegetarians now?” Faulkner wondered.

Yeah, because those things are so much alike. You might as well have asked if we’re going to have chaplains for bowlers or barbershop quartet singers.

Kilmeade opined that non-religious chaplains did not make sense because they could only say, “What ever happens, just know, there is no afterlife.”

Really? You think that’s the only thing a humanist chaplain would have to say? Seriously, who did you fuck to get that job?

Fox News host Kimberly Guilfoyle argued that the request was all “game” to attack religion.

“They don’t need a humanist or whatever the heck that is,” she said. “You want a hug? I’ll give you a hug. You want to go talk to a counselor, you can go talk to a counselor. What is the point of this? This doesn’t make any sense to me.”

That’s because you’re a moron.

“And why do we pay our military and our troops more because we are diverting funds unnecessarily because we are so super-PC,” she added. “I can’t stand it. And you have to put money over on this side instead of where it belongs. What?”

“What” is the perfect way to end that statement, as in what the fuck are you babbling about?

“Why don’t you just Facetime somebody if you need somebody to talk to!” Kilmeade volunteered. “Because clearly the chaplains aren’t going to give you the answers.”

Yes, clearly. I mean, it’s perfectly clear if you’ve got the IQ of a grape like Kilmeade. Jesus Christ, these people influence millions.

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  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    AND WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE ATHIEST TROOPS?! THEY WONT EVEN GO INTO FOXHOLES!!!

  • dingojack

    “Seriously, is there a single intelligent thought in all of this?”

    FOX News.

    Any other stupid questions?

    Dingo

  • John Pieret

    it’s perfectly clear if you’ve got the IQ of a grape like Kilmeade

    Really, Ed, there is no reason to insult grapes.

    I knew grapes … I was a friend of grapes. Trust me Kilmeade, you are not grapes.

  • gshelley

    One thing that might help these people, and stop them asking such stupid questions, is if they asked themselves “could I swap a few words and use exactly the same argument to attack my own position”

    Probably not though

  • busterggi

    ” You want to go talk to a counselor, you can go talk to a counselor.”

    That’s the one thing they were right about – we should did the witch doctors and replace them with actual counselors.

  • http://www.facebook.com/tony.agudo tonyagudo

    @bustereggi:

    Here’s the thing about going to a counselor in the military: Everything has to be reported to the soldier’s superiors. Religious chaplains don’t have to do this, presumably by mere dint of representing a religion, so religious soldiers go to chaplains for confidentiality reasons. If an atheist soldier goes to a religious chaplain, they may get proselytized to, which is something they really don’t need on top of any problems they already have. If the military either allows confidentiality between counselors and soldiers, or humanist chaplains, then that would help atheist soldiers immensely.

  • testostyrannical

    I was referred to a chaplain when I was in, and my main objection to this was obvious: why would I take him and anything he had to say seriously?

  • colnago80

    Kimberly Guilfoyle is a former prosecutor in San Francisco and Los Angeles who was married at one time to current Lieutenant Governor of California Gavin Newsom. She was for a time a legal commentator on Court TV where she was almost as bad as Nancy Grace (hard to think of a lower bar then being slightly less bad then Nancy Grace). She has certainly found her milieu at the Fascist News Channel.

  • imthegenieicandoanything

    They’re shills on Fox, so why bother to get upset if plans go ahead anyway? They can fuck off. About everything, always.

  • Mobius

    And why do we pay our military and our troops more because we are diverting funds unnecessarily because we are so super-PC,” she added. “I can’t stand it. And you have to put money over on this side instead of where it belongs. What?

    “What” is the perfect way to end that statement, as in what the fuck are you babbling about?

    Exactly.

    I went back and read it three more times. It didn’t make any more sense the last time than it did the first. And they pay this person to talk on TV???

  • dogmeat

    tonyagudo has it absolutely right @6,

    If you go to a counselor for whatever problem you’re having, the counselor is required to report that problem if it could be an issue with your clearance, etc. If you make the same appointment with a chaplain, the chaplain doesn’t have to report and can advise you without repercussions. I have heard about cases where atheist and agnostic service men and women have gone to chaplains to talk about a problem and were instead pressured to convert, etc. I don’t recall the specifics, but one case involved a chaplain flat out telling the service member that he wouldn’t talk to her until she accepted Jesus. This is a serious issue and a major case of Christian privilege that, yet again, they don’t recognize or don’t want to admit.

  • scienceavenger

    You know, if the Fox folks are confused about what atheists want, they could always do something radical like, I don’t know, maybe invite some atheists on their show to explain it to them. But they obviously aren’t fair and balanced enough for that.

  • Ellie

    Now I know where my Congressman, Chris Collins, gets his arguments regarding this issue.

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    Jesus Christ, these people influence millions.

    Do they really? Why? For pity’s sake – why?

    I’d like to think and hope that just because millions might *watch* Fox news doesn’t necessarily mean they are taking it seriously and being influenced by it but sadly I know I’m probably wrong.

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    ..& also how?

    I know there are a lot of stupid and ignorant people out there who can’t do logic and reason well but surely even they can see through this crap? No?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi