God’s Got Something in Store for Allen West

Allen West is traveling all over the country in what is quite obviously a prelude to a potential run at the Republican nomination for president in 2016. And like several candidates in 2012, he wants you to know that God will decide whether he will run or not (and thus, if he does run, you’ll know that God endorses him; clever, don’t you think?). At an appearance in Georgia he was asked about it:

The first question to West, after a long ovation, was whether he’d run for another office. He’d actually speculated about running for president one day earlier, on Ben Shapiro’s radio show, and the topic had come up in a VIP reception before the dinner.

“I know there are ministers here, so I want to get this right. It says in Proverbs Ch. 3, verses 5-6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. I could sit around here saying what I think I want to do, but my mommy and daddy taught me that you write those plans in pencil and dear God will erase them. I never thought I’d be standing here in Floyd County talking to you, but I am. I will always be a servant to this great nation, and any way that God believes I can serve America, I will. We will see what he has in store for me, because I think he maybe is getting me ready for something else.”

Yep. He’s getting you ready for the same thing he was getting Herman Cain, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry and Rick Santorum for in 2012: Getting their butts kicked in the Republican primary. Can’t wait to watch it happen.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • John Pieret

    He’s getting you ready for the same thing he was getting Herman Cain, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry and Rick Santorum for in 2012 …

    Our endless amusement?

  • dingojack

    God’s Got Something in Store for Allen West

    Based on recent form humiliating, abject failure.

    Thanks god, couldn’t have happened to a more deserving guy.

    DIngo

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    .. if he does run, you’ll know that God endorses him; ..

    Meh, I won’t believe it unless god does so in person or at least sends a convincing verified written PR relaese!

  • http://www.thelosersleague.com theschwa

    Perhaps if he wrote his plans in pen, God could not change them?

    So his weaknesses are iron chariots and ink?

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    like several candidates in 2012,

    Yeah and how’d that work out for them?

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Oh please, please, please – can we see Allen West debate Alan Keyes?

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    .. any way that God believes I can serve America, I will.

    So if god believed this Allen West clown best served America by jumping off a bridge without a bunji cord or parachute or anything he’d do that?

    I rather doubt it somehow.

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @1. John Pieret : I dunno that “endless” is quite the word but it was (sometimes) funny while they lasted.

  • Moggie

    I could sit around here saying what I think I want to do, but my mommy and daddy taught me that you write those plans in pencil and dear God will erase them.

    If you want to be president, maybe it’s best not to sound like you’re six years old?

  • John Pieret

    StevoR @ 8:

    I dunno that “endless” is quite the word …

    You’ve never been through an American presidential campaign, have you?

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @ ^ Moggie : Hey, it worked for “dudya” Bush didn’t it?

  • Jared Ragland

    “I will always be a servant to this great nation”

    “…aside from those times I committed war crimes and was a terrible Congressman who couldn’t get re-elected in Florida. But other than that, and how I’m an unemployable self-serving ignoramus, I will always be a servant of this great nation.”

  • Mr Ed

    1) God created man in his own image

    2) Humor is a universal human trait

    Therefore God has a sense of humor

    Maybe God’s plan for Allen is some sort of divine whoopee cushion

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @10. John Pieret : Only as a baffled observer from very afar – like an ocean away in Oz. So guess not.

    But everything ends eventually even even our whole cosmos in a lotta trillions of years through entropy and the heat death or maybe the Big Rip.

  • jnorris

    At the end of the day, or some time during the Tea Party primary season, Mr West will be finished restocking his PAC, just as god planned all along.

  • cptdoom

    This reminds me of the Sex and the City episode where the women discuss trying to read different signals from a man (“what does it mean if he doesn’t call?” “if he calls too soon?”) and Miranda has the great realization that there’s no code and “maybe he’s just not that into you.” All of these good Christians trying to decide what God wants or doesn’t want, whether they’re the chosen one(s). Listen, boys and girls, no matter how many signs you read, God’s not taking you to the prom Presidential race. Just deal with it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/den.wilson d.c.wilson

    Will God make Allen West’s record of abusing POWs off limits as a campaign issue?

  • colnago80

    Re d.c.wilson @ #17

    Oh, but those were brown people he was abusing so it doesn’t count (of course, the fact that West is a brown person is irrelevant). End snark.

  • Kevin Kehres

    How in the world do people like that get funding to travel the country?

    Who in the world would support this kind of “candidate” for anything? Even dog catchers have to be kind to the animals they retrieve.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    God’s Got Something in Store for Allen West

    And West is going to find out what it is, even if he has to hold God down and perform a mock execution on Him.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ethan.myerson ethanmyerson

    The only deity I could envision believing in is the omniscient being telling these clowns to all run for office, knowing full well that they’ll be wasting their time, energy, money, and reputations. That’s a god I could get behind.

  • Taz

    God sure backs a lot of losers.

  • tsig

    God’s touch seems to be the hand of death for presidential aspirations.

  • felidae

    I hope God’s plan for West includes intensive psychiatric treatment for his disordered mind

  • Michael Heath

    Allen West:

    I will always be a servant to this great nation . . .

    A fine response: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROxvT8KKdFw.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1246980039 caseyboucher

    I think it’s pretty clear that God is telling all these wingnuts to run because he doesn’t want to president to be a Republican.