Common Core Will Turn Every Kid Gay!

When they’re not ranting about Agenda 21, the United Nations, China amassing troops on the Mexican border or Obama trying to nuke South Carolina, the wingnuts are saying mind-numbingly idiotic things about the Common Core educational standards. This one from Florida state Rep. Charles Van Zant at an anti-Common Core event in March, takes the cake:

VAN ZANT: These people, that will now receive $220 million from the state of Florida unless this is stopped, will promote double-mindedness in state education and attract every one of your children to become as homosexual as they possibly can. I’m sorry to report that to you.

This guy got elected to office.

Isn't that a law prohibiting the defamation of maple syrup?

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  • John Pieret

    will promote double-mindedness

    That would be twice the mind than Rep. Van Zant displays.

  • http://www.thelosersleague.com theschwa

    Double-mindedness? I heard it is good to be mindful, but that seems like too much!! Maybe 1.5-mindedness would be OK.

  • colnago80

    It appears that Van Zant is also an evolution denier and creationist. What a surprise.

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    “become as homosexual as they possibly can”

    Oh! come on you can be gayer than that!!!

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @ ^ richardelguru : Adds to fabulous news items.

    Charles Van Zant

    Whose homophobic rant

    made gayer, gayer gay

    With the common core evant!

    (Yeah, I suck at rap.)

    China amassing troops on the Mexican border ..

    Wait whaa..?? Obviously I’ve missed something. When did this happen?

  • http://artk.typepad.com ArtK

    @ StevoR

    China amassing troops on the Mexican border ..

    Wait whaa..?? Obviously I’ve missed something. When did this happen?

    It’s a somewhat popular conspiracy theory. The Chinese are massing troops in preparation of an invasion. At Obummer’s invitation, of course since he hates America.

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @ ^ ArtK : Cheers.

    But ..from Mexico of all places?

    Isn’t there, like, massive security and fences and Cliven Bundy and crew (not!) and a lot of border security and scrutiny that side of your continent?

    That makes .. sod all sense!

    ‘Spose I shouldn’t be surprised but really?

  • Chiroptera

    … and attract every one of your children to become as homosexual as they possibly can.

    I’m sorry. I realize that this is a deadly serious topic, but I can’t help but laugh out loud at this.

  • teawithbertrand

    @1 I don’t know… 2 X 0 is still 0.

  • caseloweraz

    First of all, Mr. van Zant, no one in government “appoints” a contractor. The process is one of competitive bidding. If you have evidence that Florida’s secretary of education has done this, you should pursue legal remedies, not use it as a rallying cry in stump speeches.

    Second, where exactly in the AIR (American Institutes for Research) Web site is the statement you protest? I searched it on the term “common core” and found nothing like what you describe. (See http://www.air.org/search/site/common%20core .) (Rhetorical question; he’s doubtlessly made that up out of thin air.)

    Third, Florida’s Republican governor Rick Scott is evidently suspicious of Common Core and recently signed three bills limiting its influence. What, therefore, are you so concerned about? (Rhetorical question; he obviously is concerned about conservative ideology.)

  • Michael Heath

    I know very little about common core and the competency of its being rolled out. It’s my understanding that conservative Christians are increasingly concerned about it because it better develops students’ critical thinking skills.

    The conservative Christians I know that are fans of Sarah Palin didn’t use to know what critical thinking actually is. They thought of ‘critical’ only in the negative sense. But a few years ago we encountered resistance to overtly teaching critical thinking in Texas schools, where some GOP groups overtly opposed such. I think it may have ended up in the state of Texas’ GOP platform.

    Now the discussions I’m encountering in meat-world on the topic is that teaching critical thinking is really an advanced form of liberal brainwashing that will indoctrinate children to reject Christianity. Their must be some really entertaining conservative viral emails floating around regarding common core’s critical thinking aspect to generate an emergent fear and loathing for common core.

    Stephen Colbert’s quip that reality has a liberal bias continues to resonate.

  • eric

    Michael: one amusing thing about it is that it was developed using the GOP’s own model of how to develop policy. You know, the system they always complain the government should use. Specifically, it was developed at the state level, with state governments voluntarily coming together to create a voluntary set of common practices and standards. Department of Ed pitched in some money, but they neither lead nor regulated the process.

    So, another example of conservative hypocrisy. They complain about federal overreach and insist voluntary state cooperation is the way to go. So educators decide to use voluntary state cooperation to develop educational guidelines, and what’s the result? They complain about how evil it is.

  • http://Www.metalmischief.com YOB – Ye Olde Blacksmith is a Spocktopus cuddler

    China amassing troops on the Mexican border ..

    Somebodies watched “Red Dawn” one too many times.*

    .

    .

    .

    *Once, for the rrecord, is too many.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Of all the actual issues Common Core rollout has, I had no idea that it would homosexualize our children. Still, if it makes them as homosexual as it possibly can, then at least America’s children will be #1 in something (other than obesity and disrespecting their elders).

  • scienceavenger

    Dog whistle alert: double-mindedness. It’s a Christian slur, often aimed at atheists.

  • Kermit Sansoo

    “Double-minded” isn’t in the urban dictionary. I’m not surprised; that’s only for cool kids and their hip slang. If I were to guess, it would mean something like:

    “double minded”

    1. Of two minds about something, uncertain

    2. Lacking faith, having doubts

    3. Claiming that all issues have two sides, even biblical truths and self-evidence truths, and claiming that one can see both sides

    4.Having doubts about everything as a default state; having been taught to question everything holy and true.

  • John Pieret

    Funny line from commenter Randomfactor at PZ’s blog:

    attract every one of your children to become as homosexual as they possibly can

    That’s the Gay Army slogan. Gay all that you can gay.

  • http://adventuresinzymology.blogspot.com JJ831

    attract every one of your children to become as homosexual as they possibly can

    It’s true, according to my teacher friends, during the “Oral Sex” section of sex ed, they now teach the boys BJ’s and the girls cunnilingus.