Oh Boy, Phase II of Operation American Spring

In a textbook example of whistling past the graveyard, Operation American Spring creator Col. Harry Riley says that the event was a big success even though only a few hundred people showed up after he’d promised at least 10 million. And now, phase 2 has begun.

Last time Operation American Spring leader Harry Riley stopped by “The Alan Colmes Show,” he told Colmes that he was expecting a “a href=”http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/operation-american-spring-hopes-shut-down-washington-freedom”>gigantic, massive rally” that would “field about 10 to 20 million people in Washington, D.C. and we’re going to close it down.” In another interview, “a href=”http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/operation-american-spring-leader-says-god-will-lead-millions-against-obamas-socialist-fascis”>Riley guaranteed a “verified, validated” minimum of 10 million attendees ready to overthrow President Obama.

just over one hundred or so people ultimately showed up for the event, although one speaker put the figure at “a href=”http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/guarantee-10-million-operation-american-spring-protesters-just-under-10-million”>four or five hundred people.”…

Declaring the event to be a success, Riley said Operation American Spring is now entering a second phase in its plan to oust President Obama and top administration officials.

“We’re still in that process, we were in a mobilization phase, now we’re in phase II of exercising our strength and length of phase.”

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  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    Phase 1: the whining

    Phase 2: see phase 1

  • Larry

    Phase 1: assemble 100 or so idiots with misspelled signs and declare victory

    Phase 2: ???

    Phase 3: Profit!

  • John Pieret

    If the wingnuts didn’t have delusions, they wouldn’t have lusions at all.

  • raven

    Needless to say, phase II will require money. Lots of money.

    Do you realize how much Chickfila’s, pizzas, Kentucky Fried chicken, and beer a revolution requires?

    So for any wingnuts out there, check your bank balance. Send it to Col. Harry Riley c/o American Christian Patriotic Scammers of New America.

  • http://Www.metalmischief.com YOB – Ye Olde Blacksmith is a Spocktopus cuddler

    now we’re in phase II of exercising our strength and length of phase.

    Hey, I’ve got a bowflex for sale. Im sure they could take turns on it.

    Also, I’m pretty sure my phase is longer than their phase. >:-)

  • dingojack

    Phase II of OAS:

    Phase 2 – One million or more of the assembled 10 million must be prepared to stay in D.C. as long as it takes to see Obama, Biden, Reid, McConnell, Boehner, Pelosi, and Attorney General Holder removed from office.

    Consistent with the US Constitution, as required, the U.S. Congress will take appropriate action, execute appropriate legislation, deal with vacancies, or U.S. States will appoint replacements for positions vacated consistent with established constitutional requirements.”

    So that’ll be – what – one man and his dog, staying in a remote DC Park. Oooh that’ll scare ’em!

    Dingo

  • dingojack

    YOB – Don’t you need one of those vacuum pump thingies to improve your phase’s length and strength?

    Dingo

  • jameshanley

    we’re in phase II of exercising our strength and length of phase.

    What does it mean to exercise one’s length of phase? Is this some sophisticated political tactic I’ve not heard of? Has Obama remained in the presidency despite all these removal attempts because he’s done a better job of exercising his length of phase?

  • dingojack

    Maybe they’re trying to find the ‘brown note’.

    Dingo

  • matty1

    It is very important not to overstretch your phase when exercising and lengthening it.

  • dingojack

    Matty – which is why you always warm-up and stretch your phase before attempting to lengthen or strengthen.

    Dingo

  • vmanis1

    The Jehovah’s Witnesses confidently predicted that Jesus would return in 1914. When 1914 ended with no sign of Jesus (but with a whacking great war), intelligent people would have concluded that the JWs were wrong. Of course not! Jesus had returned, but his reign was to be “invisible”.

  • D. C. Sessions

    “Length of phase” is some very sophisticated physics, people.

    “Phase” refers to position in a periodic function. The longer a phase is, the lower the frequency of the function.

    Quantum mechanics: lower frequencies have less energy.

    It therefore follows that he’s talking about the declining energy of his movement. Which happens to us all as we get older; he might try Metamucil.

  • dingojack

    or Viagra.

    Dingo

  • Jeremy Shaffer

    You laugh now but, seeing their dedication and organizational skills in action, I’m willing to bet that Obama won’t be in office by this time in 2017.

  • anat

    He just needs to keep adding phases, until Obama is eventually ‘ousted’ in January 2017.

  • petemoulton

    Phase 1 was so awesome, I just don’t know how they could possibly top it.

  • Moon Jaguar

    Phase II: Obama, Reid, Pelosi et al are on double secret probation!

  • dingojack

    petemoulton – “Phase 1 was so awesome, I just don’t know how they could possibly top it.”

    Three words: A jumping castle.

    Anyone got any other suggestions?

    Dingo

  • dingojack

    Or how about a xtian ‘Rap Off’? (How could that possibly go down badly?)

    Dingo

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    I AND MILLIONS OF AMERICAN PATRIOTS LIKE ME WOULD HAVE GONE BUT EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT SO-CALLED “AMERICAN” SO-CALLED “SPRING” IS JUST A FALSE FLAG OPERATION BY SO-CALLED “PRESIDENT” SO-CALLED “OBAMA” TO DISTRACT FROM BENGAZI!!!

  • dingojack

    So-called “Benghazi” was a distraction from so-called “MH370”, which was a distraction from so-called “Kim Kardasian”‘s tattoo disaster, which was a distraction from so-called “Mr Sam”‘s hot boyfriend (oops no, I meant immoral, lustful bad-bad-bad man), which is a distraction from so-called…..

    Dingo

  • http://Www.metalmischief.com YOB – Ye Olde Blacksmith is a Spocktopus cuddler

    petemoulton – “Phase 1 was so awesome, I just don’t know how they could possibly top it.”

    Three words: A jumping castle.

    Anyone got any other suggestions?

    Dingo

    They could try to jump a shark! *rimshot*

  • dingojack

    Would you trust OAS to wrangle ramps, a motor-bike, a pool, water to fill it, and A FREAKING SHARK?!?

    A think we should start small, a piss up in a brewery might be a goodish starting point.

    Dingo

  • John Pieret

    They are now expecting 800,000 bikers participating Memorial Day weekend in “Rolling Thunder” (whose cause is to bring full accountability for soldiers who are prisoners of war or missing in action) to join them.

    http://www.citywatchla.com/8br-hidden/6934-operation-american-spring-marchers-ask-where-are-you

  • howardhershey

    All they have to do is schedule the next phase to remove Obama from office on Jan. 20, 2017. That way it won’t matter how many of these brave patriots show up.

  • Moggie

    I can’t read this bullshit without being reminded of Spinal Tap claiming that they’re not losing popularity, their appeal is just becoming more selective.

    So, ok, maybe they only got a hundred or so people for “phase 1”, and not ten million. But don’t look at those numbers as an epic fail: look at the quality, not the quantity. Those hundred were the elite, the cream of the crop, the special forces of Operation American Spring.

  • http://johnm55.wordpress.com johnm55

    It’s a long term plan, culminating on Jan 20th 2017 when a few hundred thousand people (at least) will show up on the Mall to see Barack Obama turfed out of office.

  • Trebuchet

    Here follows an attempt to fix the borked links in the second and third paragraphs:

    Last time Operation American Spring leader Harry Riley stopped by “The Alan Colmes Show,” he told Colmes that he was expecting a gigantic, massive rally” that would “field about 10 to 20 million people in Washington, D.C. and we’re going to close it down.” In another interview, Riley guaranteed a “verified, validated” minimum of 10 million attendees ready to overthrow President Obama.

    just over one hundred or so people ultimately showed up for the event, although one speaker put the figure at four or five hundred people.”…

  • http://Www.metalmischief.com YOB – Ye Olde Blacksmith is a Spocktopus cuddler

    Would you trust OAS …

    Hmm… Good point. I’m not sure I would trust them with a dead goldfish in a bowl.

    Considering how much hot air these goofballs expel, a jumping castle may be too much for them too.

    Bounce house (youtube)

  • http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

    There are lots of explanations for why this great gathering of patriotic patriots to patriotize did not come off as planned:

    1) 29,999,902 people all wrote down the wrong date on their calendars

    2) All of the government-funded scooters have remote kill switches installed so that Obama can immobilize the entire ‘Bagger Nation with the push of a button

    3) Trying to get 30 million paranoiacs to all show up in the shadow of the evil Muslim/atheist/Commie/Nazi Dithering Dictator without their penises — I mean guns — was a doomed effort fro the get-go

    4) They are not anywhere near as numerous or dedicated or important as they have puffed themselves up to be

    Yeah, number 4 is totally ridiculous.

    Here’s a similar operation from the Bob (Odenkirk) and Dave (Cross) HBO show from years ago:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSkik6EUQUc

  • dogmeat

    Has Obama remained in the presidency despite all these removal attempts because he’s done a better job of exercising his length of phase?

    Seems like a classic case of phase envy.

  • busterggi

    I don’t remember the original plan having a phase 2. Wonder how many other secret phases it has.

  • gerryl

    Rachel Maddow pointed out that they actually can claim that they met their goal of getting between 10 and 30 million people to show up in DC, although it was a lot closer to 10 people than to 30 million people.

    (Note: When I worked as an editor, we were super fussy about writing number ranges unambiguously. This highlights the point.)

  • Augustus Carp

    I’m glad they warned us about Phase 2 – not sure I’d have noticed it otherwise

  • dingojack

    gerryl – You’d prefer —

    ‘Operation American Spring Turnout Expected to be 20M ± 10M’.?

    :) Dingo