Wingnuts and the Art of Hyperbole

I often wonder if there isn’t some secret competition going on among the wingnuts to see who can come up with the most hyperbolic and ridiculous statement, especially about LGBT equality. Don Boys, a former Indiana legislator turned pundit, gives it his best shot while throwing a fit about the Michael Sam kiss.

I would be outraged if my children or grandchildren had seen that depravity. Even if one’s sexual activities are private in the bedroom, they should not be public on national television. However, they seem not to be interested in keeping them private. When will normal people start making such hypocrites pay for their deception? No decent person should watch ESPN again. In the interest of higher ratings or, conversely, in the interest in promoting perversion, the network has earned the disdain, distrust, and disgust of the American people. STOP is suggesting that anyone with a modicum of decency stop watching ESPN and NFL games.

Ah, distorted priorities. We’ve seen NFL players knock out their girlfriends on camera, commit murder and rape, kill their teammates while driving drunk, and much more. At no point did Boys find it necessary to call for a boycott of the league or the networks that air their games. But one gay kiss and he gets a case of the vapors, clutches his pearls and faints.

The fascists at the Homosexual Lobby are thrilled that Sam has strolled out of the closet in support of their twisted, tangled, tawdry agenda. The homosexual leaders are the most vile, vicious, and vitriolic people in the world.

Oh yes, the absolute worst. Brutal dictators who use chemical weapons on their own people? They pale in comparison to gay rights activists. Terrorists who kidnap girls and sell them into bondage? Surely you jest. They never showed two men kissing, did they?

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  • sigurd jorsalfar

    Who are these ‘homosexual leaders’ exactly? The executives of ESPN and the NFL?

  • matty1

    We’ve seen NFL players knock out their girlfriends on camera, commit murder and rape, kill their teammates while driving drunk, and much more.

    This does sound kind of like ESPN have broadcast players committing murder, anything for the ratings I guess.

    More seriously a kiss is not a “sexual activit[y].. private in the bedroom” all sorts of people kiss in public.

  • comfychair

    He’s right! Why, just last week, the Homosexual Lobby stormtroopers rounded up my entire family, hauled us off to a death camp and executed us, all for the crime of being not-gay! That makes the seventh time we’ve been executed just in the last year alone! WAKE UP, STRAIGHT PEOPLE!

  • John Pieret

    And, of course, they are so upset that such “depravity” should be seen in public and any “decent” persons should shun anyone showing it, that Barbwire topped its article with a large, closeup picture of “the kiss.”

    Titillation is always good for fundraising!

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    So that’s why they hate the French etc.

  • dingojack

    comfychair – have you considered suing?* I haven’t been sent to a FEMA camp even once! Perhaps they are unfairly profiling and targeting you and your family?

    :) Dingo

    ———–

    * Forget the NFL, isn’t suing the Great American Pastime?

  • dingojack

    Psst – don’t let the Wingnuts see this unbridled display of s*x in public!

    😉 Dingo

  • vmanis1

    The fascists at the Homosexual Lobby are thrilled that Sam has strolled out of the closet in support of their twisted, tangled, tawdry agenda. The homosexual leaders are the most vile, vicious, and vitriolic people in the world.

    What a nattering nabob of negativism this gentleman is! (Pat Buchanan or William Safire, to the white courtesy phone please.)

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    I went to Homo Lobby. It’s like Hobby Lobby, but the kitschy crap is in better taste. Less glitter, too, which was unexpected.

  • dingojack

    Modus – but did you get beyond the lobby? Did you go into the Homo Dining Room, Homo Reading Room or the Homo Reception Room?

    Enquiring minds…

    Dingo

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    dingojack, I bought a bunch of HomoChristmas ornaments. They’re exactly the same as Hobby Lobby’s Christmas ones.

  • Glenn E Ross

    Even if one’s sexual activities are private in the bedroom, they should not be public on national television.

    An adult male that doesn’t know the difference between sex and affection. Hope they never leave him alone with children.

  • comfychair

    re:Dingo@#6… Well, I live in Mississippi, and based on the laws our fine state lege is churning out, the Black Homosexual Abortionists must be a greater threat down here than in other places. It’s really bad though, everyone I know has been executed and kicked into a mass grave at least twice.

  • colnago80

    Re vmanis1 @ #8

    Actually, nattering nabobs of negativism was due to Spiro Agnew.

  • dingojack

    comfychair – firstly, commiserations*. Secondly, just think how Earth-shatteringly dangerous ACORN is, they’ve totally defunded the defunct organisation, what, at least two dozen times now.

    Dingo

    ——-

    * still it could be worse, you could be in Texas 😉

  • dingojack

    vmanis1 – RE ‘nattering nabobs of negativism’ . Even I* knew it was Spiro Agnew — thanks Mad Magazine!

    Dingo

    ——–

    * IASF

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    “Spiro Agnew!” ~ Harry Potter

  • felidae

    Actually, the “nattering nabobs” speech was written by Bill Safire whom I used to call the nattering nabob of nonsense

  • vmanis1

    Spiro Agnew said it, but his speechwriters at the time were Buchanan and Safire.

    Remember, we have David Frum to thank for “axis of evil”.

  • John Pieret

    Safire is generally credited with “nattering nabobs of negativism.” Safire was interesting when he was only writing columns on language for the NY Times Sunday magazine rather than wielding language for the forces of reactionary politics. I even have an entry in one of his books of compilations of those columns, where I corrected him for saying that NASA changed the term “blastoff” to “liftoff” not to seem too warlike. I pointed out that “blastoff” was a pulp science fiction term from the 40s-50s and common usages of “blast” has nothing to do with what makes a rocket take “off.” On the other hand, a large rocket fires several seconds before it lifts off the pad; hence “ignition” precedes “liftoff.” NASA, on the other hand, at least once, changed a warlike term for a less warlike one. The Army’s Redstone missile became NASA’s Redstone rocket.

  • dugglebogey

    If you think gay men kissing on TV is worse than the holocaust, I think you’re denying something you feel from deep deep inside!

    Paging Dr. Freud!