Pat Robertson: Trade Sex for Dishes

I’m amused that Pat Robertson has surrounded himself with so many “yes” men (and women) that there’s no one to tell him that he really should stop answering viewer emails. Even his co-hosts cringe at his answers half the time, though they pretend it’s all okay. Here’s his latest tone-deaf response:

Today on the “700 Club,” host Pat Robertson offered viewers advice on “how to have a happy marriage according to Pat.” Robertson chided one viewer who said was bothered that her husband “has always felt the need to point out when he helps with chores around the house” by reminding her, “Remember, I did that for you.”

Robertson told the viewer that her husbands remarks are simply part of the “male psyche” and “his way of saying I love you.”

“Do you want to have a loving, warm, sensuous, exciting marriage or do you want to have a partnership, a business relationship with your spouse? That’s what you’re asking for,” he said.

The televangelist added that the woman should reward her husband in the bedroom for doing the dishes: “With each dish he’s saying I love you, and if you understood that and you say, ‘Darling I got a treat for you…wait till we get behind closed doors and you’ll see the treat I have for you.”

Wanna bet what Pat would say if a woman told her husband that she wouldn’t have sex with them unless they did the dishes? He’d blow a gasket an accuse her of undermining the marriage.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • karmacat

    Because marriages always work when it is quid pro quo. That never leads to resentment. /sarc

  • Alverant

    He makes marriage sound like prostitution. If you pay the fee (do the dishes) then you get sex in return.

  • http://florilegia.wordpress.com Ibis3, Let’s burn some bridges

    @ 2 No, you get *enthusiasm* in return. Plain old 24/7 sexual submission is what you’re entitled to just for being a married man. It’s the default.

  • iknklast

    Who says a partnership has to be a business relationship? Why can’t you be partners without it being cold and unfeeling? Clearly Reverend Pat has never seen a fulfilling marriage of equal partners (or if he has, he has closed his eyes and pretend he hasn’t seen). Treating each other as equals does not equate to coldness, paperwork, and handshakes. It’s just a mutual respect that can, yes, translate even into the bedroom, where sex is fun for both of you, not just a reward or a duty.

  • parasiteboy

    ‘Darling I got a treat for you…wait till we get behind closed doors and you’ll see the treat I have for you.”

    I love it when Pat talks dirty…”behind closed doors” bwahaha!!!

  • eric

    If I get sex for dishes, what do I get for snaking the plumbing?

  • doublereed

    Wait what? Is he advocating for a business relationship or a loving relationship?

    Is he high or something?

  • Mr Ed

    Dear Pat;

    Is there some sort of guide I can get? I mean a pot with stuff stuck on it is way more work the a saucer. Does a dishwasher mean that I have lost the chance to help, and be rewarded or does it mean that I get rewarded every time it is used? Does this apply to the broader market place, my neighbor Sam was wiping down the counters should I be worried? Speaking of the broader market I have a deep and personnel relation with Jesus Christ but I never helped him with chores, will he snub me on judgment day?

    Sincerely

    Free Market Husband

  • http://giliellthinkingaloud.blogspot.com/ Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    My husband doesn’t babysit

    My husband doesn’t help with the chores

    He cares for his children and shares the housework with me.

  • eric

    Does this apply to the broader market place, my neighbor Sam was wiping down the counters should I be worried?

    Gives a new meaning to ‘always tip your wait staff,’ doesn’t it? Or I guess maybe it means, let them tip you.

  • Alverant

    @3

    Times like this, I’m glad I’m done with dating and relationships to become a happy bachelor. Relationships are hard work and I have too many other things to do. This is one of those things where it’s better not to do it at all than to do it wrong. And you know, I feel I’m better off this way. Sure there are advantages to being with someone (like dialing 911 when you have a medical emergency) but I can use the bathroom with the door open, walk around naked on Laundry Day, and do things on my own time.

  • NitricAcid

    @eric #10 I think it’s spelled “tup”.

  • Synfandel

    @9 Giliell nailed it on the head, and succinctly. Of course, Pat is too wrapped up in his god-mandated sexual division of labour to grok how a modern, loving household functions.

  • Synfandel

    …but I can use the bathroom with the door open, walk around naked on Laundry Day, and do things on my own time.

    To each his own, Alverant, but:

    1. If your life is so sweet that you consider closing the bathroom door a hardship, mazel tov.

    2. I can walk around naked any day of the week, and often do. It get no complaints from my wife and sometimes I get appreciation.

    3. You’re right about the effect on one’s schedule, but for me that’s a small price for companionship.

  • caseloweraz

    Mr Ed:

    It’s a sliding scale, if you know what I mean. The harder you scrub, the more sliding you get.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Even his co-hosts cringe at his answers …

    They knew the job was tough when they took it.

  • http://adventuresinzymology.blogspot.com JJ831

    I totally did the dishes the other day, and all I got in return was a retreat of ants.

    Oh, that’s right, the better half and I don’t barter for sex, food or housework. We just get shit done and screw around when in the mood.

  • Alverant

    Synfandel I close the bathroom door when guests are here, but the cats get annoyed.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    To be fair, sex was much simpler back in Pat Robertson’s day; once you absorbed an adequate amount of nutrients you’d simply divide. The Sexual Revolution ruined everything, I say. Wasn’t the Asexual Revolution enough?!

     

    Synfandel “I can walk around naked any day of the week, and often do. It get no complaints from my wife and sometimes I get appreciation.”

    Also, banned from the mall food court.

  • cptdoom

    @2 Alverant – Phyllis Schlafly basically argued that years ago, but with a positive take, claiming women hold the real power in a marriage because they can withhold sex til they get what they want.

    @9 Giliell – my sister used to throw a conniption when someone would ask if her husband were babysitting. She’d reply ” no he is caring for his children!”

  • http://famousatheists.net/atheist-quotes/ Atheist Quotes

    I have a hard time listening to any preacher or religious TV show for more than 2 minutes but for some odd reason I can listen to Pat for longer periods of time. He cracks me up.I wonder how times he got laid for doing dishes.

  • blf

    I wonder how times he got laid for doing dishes.

    What was his other hand doing?

  • teawithbertrand

    @5

    Now I have that old Charlie Rich song in my head. Thanks.

  • Jackie the wacky

    My husband doesn’t babysit

    My husband doesn’t help with the chores

    He cares for his children and shares the housework with me.

    This^

  • pacal

    Isn`t just amazing how many so-called conservatives think of marriage has prostitution.

  • zbeeblebrox

    They should put old Pat on a video set with lights, fake cameras, and no working microphones. Then he can prattle happily away…

  • Ichthyic

    wax on, wax off, Danielsan…

  • eric

    @2 Alverant – Phyllis Schlafly basically argued that years ago, but with a positive take, claiming women hold the real power in a marriage because they can withhold sex til they get what they want.

    She was 2,400 years behind, and not nearly as funny as the original to boot.

  • John Pieret

    How the f**k do you have a loving relationship without it being a partnership? ‘I love you if, and only if, are not an equal to me’? Even if you divide up the chores (I was a better cook, therefore I did that and my late wife put the dishes in the dishwasher) that was something we negotiated based on the fact that we were equals and we wanted to do what was best for each other.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1246980039 caseyboucher

    Playing devil’s advocate here. I’m a slob by nature (and a gay man). In both of the long-term (defined as >18 months) relationships I’ve been in, my significant other has actually bribed me to do the dishes with sex.

    It certainly worked, those dishes were cleaner than they’d been in years. Just saying, old Pat might be on to something.

  • dingojack

    NitricAcid (#12) – (But only in the Land of the Long White Kiwi).

    😉 Dingo

  • birgerjohansson

    The cat gets annoyed whenever I close a door, any door, but I have learned to draw a line at the bathroo door.

    Except for when I take a shower. If the cat wants to risk getting wet, it is his problem.

    — — — — —

    “I’m a slob by nature”

    Nature has nothing to do with my slobbiness. It was caused by a radioactive leak. Now I can use my slobbiness as an evil superpower.

  • Loqi

    My dishwasher does most of my dishes. Where do I stick the … ?

  • Al Dente

    Where do I stick the … ?

    Have Pat Robertson on the tv, open up the set, put your hand inside and FEEL THE POWER! This is known as “shaking hands with Jesus.”