Ablow Wants Surgeon General’s Warning on Internet

The staggeringly stupid Keith Ablow, psychiatrist to the wingnuts, is now demanding a surgeon general’s warning on the internet. I know, it sounds so dumb that no one would say that, but he actually said that. On Fox News, of course, to the equally dumb Elizabeth Hasselbeck.

Following an incident in which two twelve-year-old girls stabbed a friend after apparently being inspired by internet meme Slender Man, Fox & Friends host Elisabeth Hasselbeck asked if “the games are to blame,” and Fox News psychiatric contributor Dr. Keith Ablow implored the Surgeon General to put warnings on a variety of internet and social media platforms.

“The internet is a form of communication that human beings, we are learning, are not immune to, in terms of being able to resist themes that flow to them through this drug portal,” Ablow said. “Facebook depersonalizes people. It decreases their empathy. This has been shown by data. And when you tell a story via this direct line to your emotional self, it can infect you in a special way.”

“The Surgeon General has been a no-show on Facebook, which you should carry a warning label, on Slender Man, which should carry a warning label,” Albow said. “Where is the Surgeon General?”

Hasselbeck asked if the people who made the Slender Man videos could be held legally responsible.

“Traditionally, those folks are shield by first amendment rights,” Ablow replied. “However, in this case if you watch the Slender Man video, how could somebody create that video and not believe this could inspire a person to kill?”

Yeah, we’re “not immune” to the internet. Whatever the hell that could possibly mean. And remember, when someone kills someone else and blames it on a completely fictitious character that most people have never even heard of, that’s proof that this fictitious character is dangerous and Something Must Be Done. When Elliot Rodgers goes on a killing spree and explains in great detail that he did it because he was a misogynist who hates women, that’s totally irrelevant.

And when lots and lots of right-wingers rant about how the government is now like Hitler, Stalin and Mao, and that we are on the verge of being rounded up and thrown into gulags and concentration camps, and that the only solution is a “second American revolution” or another Civil War, and then they go out and try to start that war with acts of violence and terrorism, that’s also totally irrelevant and how dare you suggest a connection.

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
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  • Ellie

    I want a Surgeon General’s warning on Fox. OK, that’s almost as silly as this, but my idea has a smidgeon more sense to it.

  • dhall

    I did not know that the Internet was a “drug portal.” Wonder what kind of drugs he’s either sending or receiving through the Internet.

  • robertfoster

    I took a few liberties with the quotes. Works for me.

    “Fox News is a form of communication that human beings, we are learning, are not immune to, in terms of being able to resist themes that flow to them through this drug portal,” Ablow said. “Fox News depersonalizes people. It decreases their empathy. This has been shown by data. And when you tell a story via this direct line to your emotional self, it can infect you in a special way.

    The Surgeon General has been a no-show on Fox News, which you should carry a warning label, especially on The Five and Hannity, which should both carry a warning label,” Ablow said. “Where is the Surgeon General?”

    Hasselbeck asked if the people who made the The Five and Hannity shows could be held legally responsible.

    “Traditionally, those folks are shield by first amendment rights,” Ablow replied. “However, in this case if you watch The Five or Hannity, how could somebody create that and not believe this could inspire a person to kill?”

  • dingojack

    WARNING:

    The Surgeon General advises that watching FOX can expose the viewer to dangerous levels of THE BURNIN’ STOOPID.

    Avoid viewing FOX for periods longer than 60 seconds.

    If THE BURNIN’ STOOPID is ingested, give milk, do not encourage regurgitation. SEEK MEDICAL HELP IMMEADIATELY!!!

    Happy now?

    Dingo

  • Rik van

    Hmm. “when someone kills someone else and blames it on a completely fictitious character”? Now why does this remind me of killing in the name of ? dangerous character, indeed!

  • Rik van

    the ? is meant to read: “fill in the name of your deity of choice”

  • robnyny

    Maybe warning labels on assault weapons?

  • John Pieret

    dhall @ 2:

    I did not know that the Internet was a “drug portal.”

    At least not since the government shut down Silk Road

  • Artor

    We’ll get right on that, as soon as we get the Surgeon General’s warnings on Fox News and the Bible.

    “…how could somebody create that video book/fairy tale/genocidal fantasy/propaganda & outrage machine and not believe this could inspire a person to kill?”

  • rory

    The Surgeon General actually did require a warning label be printed on the Slender Man. Unfortunately, by the time you’re close enough to read the small print, he’s already dragged you screaming into his pit of eternal torment.

  • http://www.ponychan.net/chan/dis/ Brony

    “X is a form of communication that human beings, we are learning, are not immune to, in terms of being able to resist themes that flow to them through this drug portal,” Ablow said. “X depersonalizes people. It decreases their empathy. This has been shown by data. And when you tell a story via this direct line to your emotional self, it can infect you in a special way.”

    Word switch anyone?

    “Religion is a form of communication that human beings, we are learning, are not immune to, in terms of being able to resist themes that flow to them through this drug portal,” Ablow said. “The Bible depersonalizes people. It decreases their empathy. This has been shown by data. And when you tell a story via this direct line to your emotional self, it can infect you in a special way.”

  • Andrew G.

    The appropriate text for a warning label for the Internet was proposed many years ago by Richard Clayton:

    “WARNING: May contain nuts”

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Oh, come on! Everybody knows that the only person who can stop a bad person with an internet meme Slender Man is a good person with an internet meme Slender Man. Plus video game-commanded violence drops after states enact Game Your Ground and Open Carry laws. And, no, we don’t need to close the so-called “Game Show Loophole”.

  • Loqi

    Everything on the internet is expressed in meatspace also. Why hasn’t the Surgeon General applied a warning label to face-to-face conversation?

  • Pen

    Surgeon’s Warning on the Bible, anyone?

  • Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

    Ablow Wants Surgeon General’s Warning on Internet

    . . . Internet returns the favor.

  • Tsu Dho Nimh

    You know … we re-enacted the burning of Joan of Arc (using my sister’s doll because we couldn’t find a willing martyr) after reading Ridpath’s History of the World

    That’s clear evidence that books are just as bad as the Internet.

  • Melvosh

    I wonder if a study has ever been done, or if it’s even a plausible study, on how much real world violence those video games and internet distractions prevent. I often think the violent video games I play are the biggest reason I have not yet ended up perched on a tower with a rifle.

  • dingojack

    Melvosh – Your wish ….

    Dingo

  • grumpyoldfart

    “Slender Man made me do it”

    Over the centuries that excuse has been used by millions of children trying to excuse their bad behaviour with the words, “A big boy made me do it.”

  • vereverum

    Put a warning on this! Put a warning on that! Warning! Warning! Gimme a break. Why not just use one warning: The world is a dangerous place, enter at your own peril.

    Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch’entrate.