From the Department of Bad Analogies

When Mat Staver and Matt Barber get together on the radio, there is bound to be some serious stupid going on. They’re like the tag team champions of absurdity, which is proven yet again by their terrible analogies in trying to explain how unjust it is to make a business not discriminate:

Barber: So, to make that comparison would be like saying the adulteress goes to Jesus and says ‘you’re a carpenter, I want you to make a frame for my adultery bed, for me and then men I’m committing adultery with to commit our sinful acts.’ And it would be like some tribunal coming to Jesus and saying you’re a carpenter, you don’t have a right to refuse to make this bed for the adulteress because you make beds for people who are actually married …

Staver: It’s like a carpenter who [is told] you can build this house for this person or you can build this gallows for Hitler. And you can use your talents, we’re going to force you to use the talents to build the gallows for Hitler and we’re going to hang Jews on the gallows.

Uh yeah. It’s, uh, just like those things.

[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/154051728″ params=”color=ee0e0e” width=”100%” height=”166″ iframe=”true” /]

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Reginald Selkirk
  • A Masked Avenger

    Uh yeah. It’s, uh, just like those things.

    Well, the latter analogy is a tortured attempt at a self-Godwin. But the former is not completely inapropos. Suppose a furniture store demanded that all purchasers of beds sign an agreement not to have non-marital sex on the bed, as a condition of purchase. How, exactly, would we react to that? Or, for that matter, if Cokesbury refused to sell crackers to anyone who didn’t first affirm their belief in transubstantiation, and sign a statement promising not to desecrate it like PZ did?

    Since it doesn’t happen (to my knowledge), it’s hard to get worked up over it–but it’s hard to imagine we would react much differently than to any other refusal of service.

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    You know who else used bad analogies? Stalin!!!

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    And anyway, since the pericope adulterae probably wasn’t added until a couple of hundred years after the death of Jesus (always supposing he had a birth, let alone a death). He would surely have said to the tribunal “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  • matty1

    If only there was some story in the big book about how Jesus treated a woman who had committed adultery. Ah well, keep throwing them stones boys.

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    If only there was some story in the big book about how Jesus treated a woman who had committed adultery. Ah well, keep throwing them stones boys.

    There was some unknown copyist around 900AD who agreed with you.

  • http://polrant@blogspot.com democommie

    @4:

    New JESUS poster.

    Pissed-off Messiah flippin’ over the money changers’ tables.

    Legend: GTFOOMDT (Get The Fuck Out Of My DAD’s Temple)

  • dingojack

    If they were building a gallows for Hitler, wouldn’t be Hitler who was going to hang? [/pedant]

    :) Dingo

  • matty1

    @6 Interesting, 900 sounds late to me. I had no idea they were still adding to the text at that stage.

    In my defence I don’t think my suggestion that they are showing ignorance and/or hypocrisy on this depends on the story being true or part the original (if that even means anything) gospels. If you asked him I’m pretty sure Matt Barber would say he believes every word of the New Testament and the traditional view on how it was written so pointing out “What about this bit?” is still a response to his idiocy and he is hardly likely to respond that it isn’t authentic.

  • busterggi

    Funny thing – no where in the bible is Jesus called a carpenter. He may be called a carpenter’s son (depending on the translation) but Jesus was a jobless moocher.

  • lldayo

    So, will the Hobby Lobby start having their employees ask customers purchasing dinnerware if they will be using it to eat lobster?

  • freehand

    busterggi: Funny thing – no where in the bible is Jesus called a carpenter. He may be called a carpenter’s son (depending on the translation) but Jesus was a jobless moocher.

    .

    It’s a reasonable assumption, were one to accept the gospels as, um, gospel. Joshua ben Yahweh didn’t start publicly preaching until the age of thirty; he probably would have done a fair bit of carpentry til then.

  • scienceavenger

    It’s not the analogies, but the underlying belief, that’s terrible. Given that, the analogies are fine.

  • beezlebubby

    I’d like to think the analogy is bad because Jesus would BUILD THE FUCKING BED, but I doubt he existed at all.

  • http://www.facebook.com/den.wilson d.c.wilson

    It’s pretty unlikely that, living in a tiny poor backwater town like Nazareth that either Joseph or Jesus could have made a living making furniture. More likely (assuming they existed), they probably worked as itinerant tradesmen, traveling around the region taking what construction jobs they could find.

  • freehand

    beezlebubby – I suspect there was a Jesus, because Paul took over a cult a generation after the alleged Jesus, and these cults are usually based on a personality. Of course the relationship of the real Jesus to the gospels is about as questionable as that of George Washington to the average Tea Bagger’s understanding of early American history.

  • tsig

    Little known fact:

    Jesus build crosses for the Romans. :(

    :[ :{