Pat Boone’s Feverish Dreams

Noted intellectual Pat Boone has been having bad dreams. No, not of his own singing, but of the nightmare that is Barack Obama and the communist hellhole he has turned the United States into. He describes his terrible dream in a Worldnetdaily column:

I dreamed that a spell was cast over the whole United States, affecting almost all of its people, especially those of voting age.

A secretive cabal of Communist manipulators, trained in the malevolent disciplines and Machiavellian methods of Saul Alinsky, had taken an interest in a young black/white college student, originally schooled in Indonesia, who’d sought out Marxist professors (as he revealed later in his own autobiographical book) at Occidental College.

In this young Marxist they felt they had a potential candidate for high elective office, first at the state and then possibly on the national level. He had a good mind, was glib and articulate and, according to a fellow Marxist at Occidental, was surprisingly angry. He was ready to foment a total overthrow of what he called “the colonial oppressor of Third World countries”!

This cabal had lots of money, so they got the young man admitted to Columbia and then Harvard, where he somehow was maneuvered briefly into the president’s chair at the Harvard Law Review. He never wrote anything of record (except calling the Constitution “a flawed document”) or distinguished himself in any way, but it looked good on a future resume.

Then, in my dream, this young anti-American man had brief jobs as a “community organizer” in Chicago, utilizing the disruptive, divisive and deceptive tactics he’d learned from Alinsky, and then went in a blinding scramble from state senator in Illinois to the U.S. Senate for a couple of low-profile, near invisible years … and then, in an astonishing coup, was “elected” president of the United States!

I say “elected” because the electoral process was so corrupted by another Marxist organization named ACORN that the outcome would always be questioned.

Four years went by, he was re-elected, and systematically went about wrecking the constitutional structure of the nation, piling up trillions of unpayable debt on the hapless taxpayers, bamboozling and intimidating both houses of Congress, shredding American influence all over the world, appointing fellow Marxists, socialists and Muslim activists to 33 “czarships” (unconstitutional regulators answerable only to him and not to Congress), and in countless ways overturning and abandoning the rule of law in the country.

Like most dreams, this one has very little connection with reality.

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  • Die Anyway

    He was talking about George W. Bush wasn’t he??. That’s who destroyed America as far as I’m concerned.

  • colnago80

    I am afraid that ole Pat has been partaking of the nose candy of late.

  • keithb

    And in what way was the 2008 election corrupted by ACORN? Obama won the electoral college 365-173!

  • matty1

    A spell cast by a man schooled in the malevolent disciplines who can control dreams? He thinks Obama is Voldermort?

  • http://drx.typepad.com Dr X

    Black/white should have sufficed for Pat’s audience. All evil follows from that.

  • howdini

    “l had a dream, that my tiny, febrile brain was filled with every right-wing buzzword and dog whistle…oh, wait: that’s me when l’m awake. Never mind!”

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    In reality Obama is a well right of centrist pol!

    Would they know what a socialist, let alone a Marxist, is?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    This Obama fellow they keep talking about must really be quite terrifying. I wonder if he’s related to the president?

  • dingojack

    Dear Pat – My advice is not to snack on a half dozen melted cheese sandwiches before bed. You’ll certainly feel better, and you’ll definitely sleep better.

    Dingo

    ——–

    PS: you wrote “… as he revealed later in his own autobiographical book”, who else’s autobiography were you expecting him to ‘reveal’ it in? George the Least’s perhaps? (The architect of that ”shredding of American power’, ‘huge debt’ and ‘weakening of the constitution’ that you dreamt about). Oh and the whole “czar” thing is pure Ronald Reagan.

  • http://artk.typepad.com ArtK

    @keithb

    In the wingnut’s mind, because the “wrong” person won, it must have been because of something nefarious. Their message was suppressed, or there was rampant voter fraud. They have to blame someone for their failure. Accepting that their message and their candidates were massively unappealing is impossible for them.

    Just look at the number of posts on this blog where some wingnut is claiming near victory in some culture war issue, when they’re losing and losing badly. Monty Python’s Black Knight had nothing on these people.

    [the Black Knight continues to threaten Arthur despite getting both his arms and one of his legs cut off]

    Black Knight: Right, I’ll do you for that!

    King Arthur: You’ll what?

    Black Knight: Come here!

    King Arthur: What are you gonna do, bleed on me?

    Black Knight: I’m invincible!

    King Arthur: …You’re a loony.

    Pat Boone and his friends are loonies. They think they’re invincible and can’t process anything that shows that they aren’t.

  • matty1

    Isn’t the whole Czar thing just a matter of journalists reaching for a handy phrase? I’m pretty sure no one has actually held that title since Nicholas II.

  • caseloweraz

    Pat Boone writes: I don’t dream much, but when I do, it’s usually dramatic — and memorable.

    Was this dream the result of imbibing too many bottles of Dos Equis, by any chance?

    The column is titled “How many smoking guns do we need?” So dreams are evidence now? OK, let’s all tell our dreams, and policy will depend on the majority dream.

  • caseloweraz

    “I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night, alive as you or me…”

    and

    “Last night I had the strangest dream…”

  • Mr Ed

    Can we be sure that Pat didn’t have an extra spicy burrito and fall asleep watching reruns of Kung-Fu. Instead of a Chinese American being school in martial arts we have a black/white student being schooled in the malevolent arts. “Grasshopper when you can snatch the election from McCain’s hand will you know it is time to go forth and destroy America for no particular reason.”

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    YOU DONT UNDERSTAND!!! CZARS ARE BAD!!!! NOT ONLY ARE THEY RUSSAIN LIKE THE COMMUNIST WHICH CZARS ARE BUT THERES NOTHING IN THE CONSTITUTION THAT SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT “OUR” SOCALLED “PRESIDENT” BEING ALLOWED TO CONFER WITH OR DELEGATE TO ADVISORE THAT HE HIMSELF PICKS!!! NO OTHER PRESIDENT OTHER THAN DEMOCRAT PARTY ONES EVEN HAD CZARS!!! REAGAN DIDNT HAVE CZARS! WHY I REMEMBER BACK IN 89 WHEN HE STORMED THE BEACHES AT NORMANDY STRODE STRAIGHT IN TO MOSCOW AND TORE DOWN THE BERLIN WALL ALL BY HIMSELF WITH NO HELP FROM CZARS OR ANYONE ELSE!!!

  • grumpyoldfart

    The only reason we remember Pat Boone is because Little Richard came first.

  • http://www.aquaticape.org anthrosciguy

    Spill that wine, Pat.

  • dingojack

    MO – and you should lay off the cheese-whizz too!

    Dingo

  • http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

    Friendly word of warning, Ed. If I had a mouthful of food when I read that first sentence, you would be facing legal action from my heirs as I would have choked and fallen over dead.

    Personally, I liked Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream speech better than Pat’s. The former had actual grown-up thoughts dealing with reality.

    Pat’s seems more like something that he wrote out on the wall of his bedroom using his own feces.

    For anyone who wants a chuckle and example of how delusional he is, check out Pat’s rendition of “Smoke On the Water” on youtube.

  • vereverum

    In his subculture, dreams are supposed to be prophetical but his is historical which is why it reads moronical. I wonder if when he wrote “named ACORN” he was thinking “name’-ed”?

  • tsig

    Why all the hate on Saul Alinsky?

  • robnyny

    Yes, yes, yes. The Constitution was so perfect that it took us only 13 amendments to get rid of slavery. What could be perfecter?

  • dingojack

    caseloweraz (#13) – How about:

    “What I dream I had:

    Dressed in organdy;

    Clothed in crinoline

    – of smoky Burgundy;

    Softer than the rain.”

    :) Dingo

  • busterggi

    The question remains unanswered – where his nether regions all sticky when he woke up?

  • https://www.facebook.com/kalli.procopio Kalli Procopio

    I dreamed last night too. I dreamed that southern Wisconsin was being attacked by Godzilla. However, unlike Pat, I know that dreams do not represent reality.

  • A Masked Avenger

    So wait. Is Obama going to overthrow the oppressor of third-world countries before, or after, bombing the fuck out of Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Syria, Libya, Yemen, and Somalia?

  • Abdul Alhazred

    Would it be too ad hominem to point out that Pat Boone perpetrated the whitest straightest cover of Little Richard’s Tutti Frutti EVAR?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFxTvffJqOg

  • caseloweraz

    @Dingojack:

    Wow, there’s a blast from the past. It took me a minute or two to place it. So you’re a Simon & Garfunkel fan. Me too.

  • vmanis1

    I dreamed that Pat Boone went to Scotland and came back with two kippers on his head and a really disgusting sporran. He then turned himself into an old-style SCM mechanical calculator, and divided himself by zero. Then I woke up.

    I will give him a bonus mark for spelling Saul Alinsky’s name correctly. Most of the cuckoo brigade misspell it as `Alinksy’.

  • spamamander, internet amphibian

    Last night I had the strangest dream

    Obama sold the US to China

    I got in a big SUV to find ya

    But you said we had to keep it green.

    Is there any reason why we’re sinking so fast?

    You said…

    Ain’t nothin gonna change my mind

    Fox said to go underground

    Oh no,

    The negro’s army’s movin…

  • macallan

    Who the fuck is Saul Alinsky and why are the wackos so obsessed with him?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    macallan “Who the fuck is Saul Alinsky…”

    He wrote stuff that some Rightwing operatives read and follow, blaming the Left for reading and following a book they’ve never read by a guy who they’ve only heard of because the Rightwing won’t shut up about it.

    And you’d might as well read his stuff. You’re going to get blamed for it anyway. Might as well know what it’s about.*

     

    * Spoiler Alert: It’s about a cat who enjoys lasagna.

  • freehand

    Until now, I only knew of Alinsky because of these silly “accusations” by the tea bagger crowd. Looking him up in Wikipedia, he seems like an alright guy. First modern American community organizer, who wrote in his book Rules for Radicals, “What follows is for those who want to change the world from what it is to what they believe it should be. The Prince was written by Machiavelli for the Haves on how to hold power. Rules for Radicals is written for the Have-Nots on how to take it away.”