Hilarious New Book About the Evils of The Gay

I laughed out loud while reading this press release about a new book by someone named Jim Hill called The Gay Emperor is Naked. Some of the claims in the press release, which I assume come from the book, are hilariously idiotic. Like this one:

Statistically, according to Hill, it is healthier to be a chain smoker and a practicing alcoholic than an active homosexual. In fact, 2% of all active homosexuals experience 80% of all STD’s.

Okay, let’s do some math. Let’s assume that about 4% of Americans (he doesn’t limit this to the United States, but we will for our purposes). That’s about 15 million people, 2% of which would be 300,000 people. There are 110 million Americans with an STD. That would mean that 300,000 people would have an average of 293 STDs each.

Unless he means that those 300,000 people have 80% of the different forms of STDs. There are about 25 different types of STDs, which means those 300,000 people would have to have an average of 20 of them each.

Why do 75% of the people who try homosexuality go on to conclude that that is not who they are, while 98% of those who try heterosexuality find it is who they are? More people have left homosexuality than have ever remained in it, by far.

Uh, what?

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
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  • http://adventuresinzymology.blogspot.com JJ831

    In fact, 2% of all active homosexuals experience 80% of all STD’s.

    I read it as 2% of homosexuals will have get 80% of the types of STDs – but not at the same time or even the same individual. So it’s like saying 2% of the population has exposure to 80% of the STDs.

    Interesting, because then it sounds like teh gay is immune to 20% of STDs.

  • http://zenoferox.blogspot.com/ Zeno

    Math is difficult — especially with one’s head up one’s ass.

  • busterggi

    And yet most of the folks who come in for std testing where I work are heterosexual college students just after various breaks between semesters.

  • Ellie

    Try heterosexuality? Try it? I never realized I was “trying” heterosexuality. I just thought that’s what I was. I’m assuming that the author tried both and then made his decision.

  • matty1

    Why do 75% of the people who try homosexuality go on to conclude that that is not who they are, while 98% of those who try heterosexuality find it is who they are? More people have left homosexuality than have ever remained in it, by far.

    It’s gibberish the way he puts it and I suspect he found his numbers somewhere warm and dark, but I suspect more people rate a 1 or 2 on the Kinsey scale than admit it. To an unobservant observer that might look like ‘trying homosexuality’ and then leaving it.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/TabbyLavalamp Tabby Lavalamp

    I love the argument by disease rates, because if orientation is a choice then the logical continuation of that argument is that women should then choose to be lesbians. If that gives me a chance with Ashley Judd, then I’m all for it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/set.v.kouwenhoven Set Kouwenhoven

    Poe?

  • cptdoom

    After years of trolling anti-gay sites, I may have some clue to what he’s referring.

    In fact, 2% of all active homosexuals experience 80% of all STD’s

    I’m guessing this a confusion of the “only 2% (or 1.5%) of the population is gay,” which the far right uses to counter the 10% figure incorrectly extrapolated from the Kinsey Report. The far right typically uses surveys of actual sexual acts to estimate the gay or lesbian population. Since gay people aren’t, actually, always having sex, using questions like “in the last twelve months, have you…” seriously under-reports the actual percentage of gay or lesbian people (aside: the most accurate figure, IMHO, is 5% of the population; most consumer surveys find about 4 – 6% of the population identifies as gay, and about 5%of voters in a typical election will be gay).

    I sincerely have no idea where he’s getting the 80% figure, though, as chlamydia is the most common STD and is most often transmitted through hetero sex.

    Why do 75% of the people who try homosexuality go on to conclude that that is not who they are, while 98% of those who try heterosexuality find it is who they are? More people have left homosexuality than have ever remained in it, by far.

    Again I am guessing he’s using sexual acts to define homosexuality and heterosexuality, and he’s likely using data on the number of people who have ever had a homosexual experience and their current identification. As many heterosexual young people have a bit of same-sex experimentation (hence the term LUG, for “lesbian until graduation” at many women’s colleges), but end up partnering with the opposite sex and identifying as straight, the far right can use this kind of data to argue sexuality is not immutable.

  • Captain Mike

    I suspect he would include me in the number of people who “tried” homosexuality and then “left” it, i.e., he’s looking solely at behaviours and not at orientation. I was straight the last time I sucked a cock, I’ll still be straight the next time. I wasn’t trying anything. I was just doing stuff. You know … as one does.

  • DaveL

    Why do 75% of the people who try homosexuality go on to conclude that that is not who they are, while 98% of those who try heterosexuality find it is who they are? More people have left homosexuality than have ever remained in it, by far.

    Would somebody please explain to this man what Bayes’ Formula is and how it works?

    Let’s assume that 4% of people are gay, and that homosexuals and heterosexuals are equally likely to experiment with the opposite orientation. Let’s label our propositions thus:

    E(G)- probability an individual experiments with the homosexuality

    E(S)- probability an individual experiments with heterosexuality

    S – probability a person is straight.

    G- probability a person is gay.

    The probability that a person who has experimented with homosexuality is straight would be

    P(S|E(G)) = P(S) P(E(G)|S) / P(E(G))

    But

    P(E(G)) = P(S)P(E(G)|S) + P(G)P(E(G)|G)

    Now P(E(G)|G) should be pretty damned close to unity. So we have

    P(S|E(G)) = [P(S)P(E(G)|S)] / [P(S)P(E(G)|S) + P(G)], Or

    P(S|E(G)) = 1 / (1 + P(G)/(P(S)P(E(G)|S)))

    Plugging in values from above, we have

    P(S|E(G)) = 1/(1 + (0.04/(0.96*P(E(G)|S))) = 1/(1+ (0.0417/P(E(G)|S)))

    So in order for 75% of people who try homosexuality to ultimately decide they’re heterosexual, we only need:

    0.75 = 1/(1+ (0.0417/P(E(G)|S)))

    P(E(G)|S) = (1.333-1) / 0.0417 = 0.08 = 8%

    If 8% of heterosexuals experiment with homosexuality, 75% of people who try homosexuality will ultimately find they’re heterosexual.

    Working the same way from the converse,

    P(E(S)|G) = [(P(S)/P(S|E(S)))-P(S)]/P(G) = 0.5 = 50%

    i.e. Even if fully 50% of gays experiment with heterosexuality, 98% of the people who do try it will conclude they are heterosexual. Even if 100% tried it, they couldn’t move the needle lower than 96% because they only make up 4% of the population.

  • https://www.facebook.com/kpalexander1 Kevin Alexander

    Math is difficult — especially with one’s head up one’s ass.

    Someone really needs to start a Readers Digest kind of collection of the best of fundie ‘reasoning’

    .

    Call it ‘The Colospective’

  • DaveL

    D’Oh – reversed an exponent up there. I knew something didn’t look right.

    P(E(G)|S) = 0.0417 / (1.3333-1) = 0.125 = 12.5%

  • John Pieret

    I first read that as “the Elvis of The Gay.” I can’t tell you how disappointed I was to find out that the story was only about another right wing moron.

  • https://www.facebook.com/kalli.procopio Kalli Procopio

    One little issue with the math. If we assume half of all gay people are lesbians and lesbians have the lowest rate of STD’s of any group, including married, heterosexual, conservative christians. Those numbers get even more ridiculous.

  • twas brillig (stevem)

    Why do 75% of the people who try homosexuality go on to conclude that that is not who they are, while 98% of those who try heterosexuality find it is who they are? More people have left homosexuality than have ever remained in it, by far

    So it is inconceivable that those who “tried” homosexuality were heteros to begin with, and that it is likewise unlikely to get a homo to “realize” he is hetero after trying hetero? And his numbers just don’t make sense. The first implies that 25% ARE homosexual, but the latter implies that that only 2% are. Is that his pseudo-point that Homos are deluding themselves and can’t make up their minds and distort the statistics by their very existence?

  • Kevin Kehres

    It’s a well-known fact that 75% of all statistics are made up on the spot — Abraham Lincoln.

  • jefferylanam

    I thought Mark Twain said that, or maybe Albert Einstein.

  • dingojack

    twas brillig – clearly what he means is:

    Those that try heterosex* – 97% remain hetero and 2% switch to homosex

    Those that try homosex* – 22% remain homo and 78% switch to heterosex.

    Therefore, in order to end up with 2% homosexuals** trying heterosex occurs 205452.293 times more often than trying homosex, or 99.9995% try heterosex and 0.0005% try homosex. But since this very small rate of trials has them so scared it implies that homo sex is, at least, 205452.294 times more powerful than heterosex. Or something..,

    Dingo

    ——-

    * Notice he never even considers that people might try both (or neither) and continue practicing both (or neither). Couldn’t possibly occur in binary Fundie-land.

    ** Probably an underestimate by 50%. As noted above the true number of homosexuals is between about 4-6% of the population.

  • http://Reallyawakeguy.blogspot.com somnus

    The fundies like their comfortable delusion that human sexual behavior is binary. It makes it easy to categorize people.

  • matty1

    binary Fundie-land

    That was the only theme park where I’ve ever asked for my money back.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    …The Gay Emperor is Naked…

    That’s also the “go code” for the gayhomo sleeper cells waiting to further undermine America’s Moral Foundation.

  • caseloweraz

    Jim Hill: Why do 75% of the people who try homosexuality go on to conclude that that is not who they are, while 98% of those who try heterosexuality find it is who they are? More people have left homosexuality than have ever remained in it, by far.

    The reason is obvious to the meanest intelligence. It is the tremendously seductive power of Teh Gay, which if allowed to fulfill itself in legal marriage will shortly disrupt all remaining bonds of heterosexual matrimony.

    /snark

    These people cannot help but contradict themselves.

  • Synfandel

    Holy crap! A third of all Americans—men, women, and children—have an STD?!! You guys seriously need a better health care system!

  • dingojack

    Matty 1 – was the refund in Bitcoin? After all it’s a digital theme park.

    😉 Dingo

  • caseloweraz

    The book has no reviews on Amazon as yet. Of course, it was only released on May 6th.

    Amazon also provides no cover image. I find that interesting. Could it be that the publisher (Vista Books Ltd.) actually put a picture of a naked emperor on the cover?

    (I don’t really believe that; it’s just more snark. And in fact the cover can be seen on ebay UK. No nudity there.)

  • caseloweraz

    Ed: Unless he means that those 300,000 people have 80% of the different forms of STDs. There are about 25 different types of STDs, which means those 300,000 people would have to have an average of 20 of them each.

    Seems to me this would require a heckuva lot of work (as in sleeping around) to acquire so many different STDs. It would make these people the homosexual equivalent of Wilt Chamberlain — assuming Chamberlain’s testimony* about his exploits is accurate.

    *Wikipedia reports that he had relationships with 20,000 women. Obviously, Mr. Chamber-lain was one of the top scorers in basketball.

  • Sastra

    The Gay Emperor is Naked

    Okay now, it’s just got to be possible for somebody somewhere to make a porno film to go with that title.

    And surely some small local movie theater in “Jim Hill’s” area could find the inclination and wherewithal to show it and announce it in big fat letters on the marquis right when it’s likely that “Jim Hill” (okay, that sounds like an alias) would just so happen to be strolling by, unsuspecting and not a care in the world and then he looks up … What hath I wrought???

    If nothing else, the odds of me imagining such a thing seem pretty high.

  • fmitchell

    Eleventy-five percent of scientificators agree with his statistics.

  • freehand

    jefferylanam: I thought Mark Twain said that, or maybe Albert Einstein.

    .

    No, I did, last week. People have been misattributing this for years.

  • freehand

    Hill, like most Fundies, cannot grasp the process of figuring out what our desires are. He thinks we choose them. We choose to act, then sometimes learn something from that. We cannot change what we want by an act of will. If we could</I I would want to floss my teeth,

  • bmiller

    Even if sexuality IS mutable…and for some people at some times it IS, …

    You know what else is mutable? RELIGION.

    So, sinceby their logic we “should” punish gay people because they choose to be “evil”, by MY logic why not choose toxic religious nuts for their “choice”

    (Not serious here…but it is the same kind of poor logic)

  • bmiller

    punish religious nuts, I meant!