Worldnetdaily Columnist Believes in Black Magic

Stuart Goldman, one of the Worldnetdaily’s weekly columnists, has a profoundly absurd column about Wiccans, witches and black magic. He actually believes this his aunt, who was Wiccan, was killed by a “curse” put on him by a bad witch with a grudge against her.

Bella later became a professor of anthropology a major University in Los Angeles. Her area of study was “the things of the supernatural.” Her most popular course was “Magic, Religion, and Witchcraft.” It was the class that was always filled before all the others. She taught it so well, because she loved the subject herself.

What I didn’t know until many years later – just before she passed away in 1984 – was that Bella herself had been a witch. She wouldn’t have used that term. She preferred to refer to herself as a Wiccan. But once one accepts Christ as his savior (and along with it, the teachings of the Bible), one learns that this distinction is false. People who practice Wicca are, in fact, practicing witchcraft.

Moreover, one you begin to absorb the wisdom of God, the distinction between white and black witchcraft reveals itself as an illusion. Wiccans seem harmless enough: They spend much time talking about things like faeries – and they are big proponents of nature and ecology – things one doesn’t normally associate with evil. A person who practices Wicca is not supposed to indulge in the darker side of witchcraft – putting curses on people, and that sort of thing.

Yeah, this is totally different from, say, Christians who offer “imprecatory prayers” that God will strike down someone, as Baptist minister Wiley Drake has done for Obama. That’s totally not “black magic” it’s just godly behavior.

So when Aunt Bella passed away, I was shocked not only to find that she’d been a witch (though in her mind, she practiced only white witchcraft) but that she’d died as a direct result of a curse put on her by a very powerful black witch – a woman who’d been a member of a powerful occult group known as the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn.

The story goes like this. When Bella got set to teach her first class on “Magic, Religion and Witchcraft” in the spring of 1983, she’d invited a guest speaker to lecture in her class. I will not give the woman’s name, but I will tell you that this woman was a high-ranking member of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn.

In the beginning, Bella was naive. But she soon she learned that the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn practiced all of the darkest parts of occultism. One of its areas of specialty was the casting of spells on people to bring harm to them.

When Bella found this out, she told the woman that she’d rather not have her speak to her class.

The woman was furious. She did not mince her words. “I curse you,” she said to Bella. “You shall die a painful death. You will be dead within six months.”

Almost six months to the day after the woman’s curse was pronounced, Bella was dead. She was suddenly stricken with bone cancer – an extremely painful form of the disease.

Uh, yeah. I don’t suppose you could actually provide some evidence for this bullshit? I didn’t think so. I would gladly volunteer to be “cursed” by every “witch” you could find and not be the least bit afraid of the results.

I take the power of magic – black magic – very seriously. Because neither of my parents ever converted to Christianity, I have had my home – which I inherited from my family after they passed away – “cleansed” on several occasions. I have had many of my Christian friends pray over my house, and I had a man who specializes in “cleansing” homes of evil spirits come to the house, anoint it with oil and cast out all evil spirits that may have taken up residence in the house. I have thrown out many treasured items left to me by Aunt Bella, though they were near and dear to me, because I didn’t want to be infected by the evil spirits which may have taken up residence in them…

I miss my Aunt Bella every day. I keep her picture hanging on my wall. And I’ll never fail to see her life as a testimony to the reality of both good and evil. These are not just empty words, my friends. They are as real as the eyes with which you are reading this column.

Wait, you believe that demons and goblins can be attached to objects and that there is no such thing as a good Wiccan, but you keep a picture of your Wiccan aunt in the house you’ve had repeatedly exorcised? Anyone else’s bullshit meter going into the red right about now?

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  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    Yup.

  • raven

    If xian witchcraft i.e. imprecatory prayer worked, Obama and Hillary would have burst into flames long ago.

    If black magic worked, Jerry Falwell would be lurching around as a Zombie and Mike Huckabee would be barking like a dog and chasing cats up a tree. Pat Robertson would be dead and occasionally reanimated to say dumb things on his TV show. (Hmmm, wait, that is what does anyway.)

  • Trebuchet

    This, of course, differs very little from the “demons” the fundies are so obsessed with. Or from Harry Potter, for that matter.

  • busterggi

    Religion is just magical thinking for groups. God is the ultimate Bullwinkle – always pulling something out of his hat but never the right thing.

  • colnago80

    Can we get a high ranking member of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn to put a curse on the Koch brothers?

  • Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

    I had a man who specializes in “cleansing” homes of evil spirits come to the house, anoint it with oil and cast out all evil spirits that may have taken up residence in the house.

    I can testify that this actually works. I occasionally anoint parts of my house and it does seem to get rid of the evil spirits.

    Particularly the evil spirits that manifest themselves by making hinges squeak.

  • raven

    Xianity can protect you from demons and black magic.

    When I deconverted, the next day I was run over and killed by a car with no driver in it!!!

    So join my cult and send us money. Or else.

    Yeah, this whole thing reads like a badly written and unbelievable fantasy.

  • Artor

    LOL! I have many friends who are Wiccan or in the OTO. They would all get quite a laugh out of this.

  • Kevin Kehres

    Carl Sagan to the white courtesy phone. Dr. Sagan…courtesy phone.

  • Pen

    Is this the Fantasy Fiction Short Story Workshop or did I come to the wrong place?

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @2. raven : So .. are you putting that forward as the case in favour if the existence of black magic then?! (Joking.)

    (Apart from zombie Falwell isn’t that second paragraph a bit close to the truth though?)

  • dingojack

    What’s not to believe?

    😉 Dingo

  • Ethan Myerson

    I ask this question in complete sincerity and not (just) to make fun of these folks: Is there anything they don’t believe to be true? Is there any bit of mythology or folklore that they look at and say, “well, that’s just stories”. Clearly witches, demons, ghosts, and faeries don’t fall into that category. How about goblins? Orcs? Potions, magic wands, or amulets? I mean this question honestly. Do they have any boundary between what they deem to be fantasy and what they feel is reality?

    And if so, how do they determine which is which?

  • D. C. Sessions

    Isn’t this the audiobook version of a Jack Chick story?

  • caseloweraz

    Stuart Goldman: Because neither of my parents ever converted to Christianity, I have had my home — which I inherited from my family after they passed away — “cleansed” on several occasions.

    Shoddy exorcists can be a problem for anyone. Maybe he should get Zelda Rubenstein from Poltergeist. “This house is clean.”

    These are not just empty words, my friends. They are as real as the eyes with which you are reading this column.

    (OT) “Quietus is real, my friend.”

    A real scam, apparently.

  • Randomfactor

    Speaking of Whirled Nuts Doily, you did see that Joseph Farah got caught trying to carry a loaded gun onto an airplane the other day, right?

  • caseloweraz

    Colnago80: Can we get a high ranking member of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn to put a curse on the Koch brothers?

    Nah, they’d just hire a higher-ranking member to reverse the curse.

    Wikipedia describes it as a defunct organization. Interestingly, its members included Aleister Crowley (founder of the OTO) Sax Rohmer, Bram Stoker, and W. B. Yeats.

    However, there is a Web site (golden-dawn-dot-com) revealing it as the “Outer order of the Rosicrucian order of A. O.”

    Its home page does not validate. Perhaps someone has cursed it.

  • caseloweraz

    @Randomfactor:

    Did he utter the magic word IOKIYAR and escape?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    As a high level Wiccan of the Tightly-Sealed Jar of Celestial Enlightenment, I curse him to be a doofus.

  • vmanis1

    Let me say that I am a believer in the value of exorcism. At one job, I inherited the office of a former colleague who was prone to doing and saying crazy things. When I was given the office, my friends said `aren’t you worried to be using the same office that Dr ***** used?’. So when I moved in, I conducted a ritual exorcism, commanding the evil spirits of cuckoo-ness to begone. And, lo!, they were gone!

    My Wiccan friends part from their friends by wishing them `safe paths’. To Mr Goldman, therefore, I say, `safe paths’.

  • John Pieret

    Ya know, I’ve been trying to develop a stupidity meter to go with our irony and bullshit meters. But my prototype just melted and China-syndromed out of sight.

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    I believe in Black Magic, though I haven’t had a box these nigh on thirty years.

    Great chockies!

  • http://cheapsignals.blogspot.com Gretchen

    Moreover, one you begin to absorb the wisdom of God, the distinction between white and black witchcraft reveals itself as an illusion.

    He says this, but there’s nothing at all in his story that supports it. Clearly he only views black magic as a threat. He loved his aunt Bella and considered her to be a good person, and didn’t even know she was a practitioner of white magic for a long time.

    So the distinction between white and black witchcraft matters quite a lot, actually– as much as the difference between good and evil. And if you know full well that there’s no such thing as magic, then it amounts to the difference between good and evil intentions. Misguided intentions, but still intentions.

    So come on, Mr. Goldman. Don’t tell people not to draw a distinction which you, with your every word, fully support and acknowledge.

  • DaveL

    she’d died as a direct result of a curse put on her by a very powerful black witch

    Boy, that must have made for an interesting death certificate.

  • anubisprime

    For a so called ‘columnist’ that contributes weekly to a large media organisation like Worldnetdaily that screed was some extremely piss poor writing, on a subject the idiot had not a clue over, coupled with a blatant childish literary style…you could almost hear him sucking his thumb at several points.

    Absolutely hilarious…if it was not for the fact that brain dead jeebus fans are all nodding sagely at those words…fuckin’ edukashon’…git sum!

  • caseloweraz

    The way Stuart Goldman relates this story is interesting. You’d almost think he was a witness to the events surrounding his mother’s death — that he heard with his own ears the other woman’s curse, and six months later saw the sudden onset of bone cancer in his previously healthy mother.

    And yet, he also says that he didn’t even know she was a witch until just before she died in 1984. So he must have heard the story from her lips at that time.

    Yeah, there’s an ironclad case. /Don Rickles

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    anubisprime, “write for your audience”.

  • Sastra

    Ethan Myerson #13 wrote:

    I ask this question in complete sincerity and not (just) to make fun of these folks: Is there anything they don’t believe to be true? Is there any bit of mythology or folklore that they look at and say, “well, that’s just stories”.

    Well, yes and no — I think.

    I had a fundamentalist friend who believed in demons and carefully sifted through her son’s toys to make sure that none of them were “dangerous.” The way she explained it to me, there are of course many fictional monsters and people. Folktales and myths are often “just stories.”

    The important issue though comes in when the story involves anything which both 1.) involves magic and 2.) does not inform the child that only God does godly magic. Fiction vs. non-fiction isn’t the point. Demons take advantage of a child’s love for magic and can either enter the house or enter faith-destroying ideas into the child’s head when books, dolls, or other paraphernalia are allowed into the residence. If something was “not found in nature” then it was forbidden. Children should never get comfortable with the idea that magic which is not from God is ‘no big deal.’ Plus, of course — demons.

    The line was very blurry. Smurfs were out. My Little Pony was in — but NOT if the pony had wings or a unicorn horn. That was magic and “unnatural.” I pointed out that the ponies had colors which no pony had in nature — and she admitted that this was a hard call. She’d asked her pastor about it, and he said it was okay.

    Strangely, this woman who had an entire system of rights and wrongs built up around protecting her child and household from anything which carried any whiff of being ungodly didn’t seem to think that it was any problem letting an atheist (me) into her house or allowing him to see that she was okay with nonbelievers. Maybe atheists are demon-proof. Or maybe she thought my conversion was just around the corner. Or maybe this otherwise reasonable woman (she’d been raised without religion iirc) was still pragmatic enough to know that screwing around with believing that Smurfs would allow demons to come into the house and/or break a child’s faith somewhere down the road wasn’t as important as screwing around with an actual friendship with another rare stay-at-home mom.

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    Goldman used to be a Jew. So it seems odd that he’d figure he needed to cleanse his parents’ house because they didn’t convert. Aren’t Jews God’s Chosen People? Wouldn’t that give them some invulnerability to evil spirits and so on?

  • http://reasondecrystallized.blogspot.com andrew

    “Yeah, this is totally different from, say, Christians who offer “imprecatory prayers” that God will strike down someone, as Baptist minister Wiley Drake has done for Obama. That’s totally not “black magic” it’s just godly behavior.”

    Yes, Ed, it IS totally different. Wiccans practice a sort of rules-based nature magic, whereas Christian prayers are theurgy. Duh.

  • http://reasondecrystallized.blogspot.com andrew

    Now don’t you feel silly!

  • dingojack

    richardelguru – A short musical interlude.

    😀 Dingo

  • wscott

    Let me say that I am a believer in the value of exorcism.

    Reminds me of a few years ago when a particularly toxic co-worker left my wife’s workplace; she and some co-workers held a newagey quasi-exorcism with a sage bundle. It was clearly done as a tongue-in-cheek social exercise, akin to everyone singing Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead, and no one believed it had any magical powers, but it helped everyone move on psychologically. Ceremonies can sometimes have an effect (positive or negative) without any woo involved.

    So the distinction between white and black witchcraft matters quite a lot, actually

    Goldman doesn’t articulate it very well, but I understand what he’s trying to say, having heard it from others: any magic that doesn’t come from Go by definition comes from Satan, therefore you may think you’re doing “white” magic, but that’s just Satan sucking you in and no good can come from it in the long run. It’s a gateway drug. (Or would be if, you know, it actually existed.)

    Is there any bit of mythology or folklore that they look at and say, “well, that’s just stories”

    Absolutely; and have fun trying to get them to articulate a coherent & consistent set of rules for how they determine which is which. But as Sastra pointed out, even something clearly fictional (ie – Harry Potter) can be considered dangerous if it portrays non-God-derived magic in a positive light.

  • wscott

    …any magic that doesn’t come from Go…

    Should be doesn’t come from God.

  • jnorris

    I would gladly volunteer to be “cursed” by every “witch” you could find and not be the least bit afraid of the results.

    Well ED, are you brave enough to suffer a Homeopathic Curse!!

    Will someone tell me if saying a spell to have she-bears kill 42 children is white magic or black magic?